Are we defined only by our labels?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Are we defined only by our labels?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Are we defined only by our labels?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Are we defined only by our labels? - 9/2/2006 11:37:02 AM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

As I read on here it seems that a lot of us tend to define people only by the label they wear. Each person has their own definition of that label. One person states that all humans have the right to their humanity including having limits. The next says that slaves have given up "all" right to self determine. Others say a slave can pre-determine up to when they surrender.

The next is that submissive non slaves are somehow "less than" slaves. That perhaps they are too assertive about the areas they are not willing to yield to another.

Switches...of course those appear to be the folks who can't make up their minds. It seems that many consider it impossible to enjoy both sides of this at different times, or possibly are just different with different partners.

Masters, the responsible never failing, solid as a rock, brilliant, unyielding fortress that a submissive can submit totally to, mind, heart, body, and soul.

Dominants, maybe not quite so much of anything as the Masters but still the in charge, somewhat responsible guy that you can trust for most things.

Maybe I'm off base, cycling, or just grouchy from the dreary weather here, but don't these labels seem awfully limiting in how we perceive others? Isn't it more important to take some time to get to know what someone's about? Or, is this all just semantics?

Just reading the answers on here sometimes makes me wonder about all this and why we react to certain posters the way we do. Is it only the label they choose?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Are we defined only by our labels? - 9/2/2006 11:49:38 AM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I really don't break down people into that many categories. As far as online; sub, slave, or Dom or switch depending on how they list themselves. But I judge them as to what type of person they come across as, not what their so called title means they should be.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to sharainks)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Are we defined only by our labels? - 9/2/2006 11:59:24 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Labels have a purpose, we all label things and we have to just to survive. In psych 101 I learned about how human beings categorize their world... we lump things into different piles so we can understand and communicate to others the world around us. We lump all rocks together, all grass, we alll know what a cloud is, or a chair. There are differences in clouds, chairs, and different species of grass, but basically we have a basis to understand a chair or a cloud or a rock.

You can tell someone there is a tree outside, what kind of tree? A tall tree, a scrub tree? A broadleaf? An Evergreen? There are all sorts of trees in the world (my personal fav.. a monkey puzzle tree). There are different dominants, submissives, and switches too. There are different types of dynamics also. No two snowflakes are alike, but they are all snowflakes, unless they are just plain rain...smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sharainks)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Are we defined only by our labels? - 9/2/2006 12:02:34 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

The quick answer, in my opinion, is that we're usually defined only by that we allow. i know i've given myself labels, the mask i show the word a big part of that. If someone tried to wrap a label around me that just doesn't fit i'd either have a fit, or walk away and not return.

cheers
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Are we defined only by our labels? - 9/2/2006 12:09:09 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

Just reading the answers on here sometimes makes me wonder about all this and why we react to certain posters the way we do. Is it only the label they choose?

I would gather that the reactions you perceived are primarily based upon the comments made and personal experiences others have had with the party in question. I don't know if their orientation figures into things as much as you might suspect. In regard to labels, I can't fathom why the opinions of strangers would weigh heavily on anyone unless there were questions or unresolved issues that this individual is not aware of or has chosen to ignore. Security and a sense of self always begins internally, not externally.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to sharainks)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Are we defined only by our labels? - 9/2/2006 12:20:34 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks
Maybe I'm off base, cycling, or just grouchy from the dreary weather here, but don't these labels seem awfully limiting in how we perceive others? Isn't it more important to take some time to get to know what someone's about? Or, is this all just semantics?

Only if we allow them to be.

Over on the "can a slave say no?" thread, there's a lot of "Well SLAVES do X and SUBS do Y." which is pretty much crap and doesn't hold up to anything outside of one's own dynamic (although it should be treated as rock solid within the relationship).

quote:

Just reading the answers on here sometimes makes me wonder about all this and why we react to certain posters the way we do. Is it only the label they choose?

Some people do. Specially the newbies. But labels aren't evil, they aren't anything but labels. As long as we keep them in their place, we do well. But they do seem to be very important to some people- hence all the "You can't do that if you're a G!" and constant sub/slave discussions.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_515260/mpage_1/key_labels/tm.htm#515339
labels!!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_211188/mpage_1/key_labels/tm.htm#211207
A question about labels

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sharainks)

Profile

Post #: 6