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Finding... - 9/3/2006 2:35:06 AM   
slave4Darby3d


Posts: 106
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I have read so many posts/profiles and such.  I see men seeking women, women seeking men, subs seeking masters, masters seeking subs, everyone is seeking something. 
I have to ask - is it really that hard for a man to find a woman?  a Dominant to find a submissive? a Master to find a slave?
Which do you think is harder - and why?

(and please, people, no flaming on someone else for their answer.  I am asking opinion - which is personal and indisputable. thank you.)

slave4Darby3d
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 2:51:35 AM   
ericstanton


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/20/2005
From: Yorkshire
Status: offline 		Its a relatively small group of people - with diverse interests and needs/reqiirements within that. Yes its hard.  Added to that some have more than one profile - to remain hidden from partners, and some keep their advert for a partner running after they have one.

(in reply to slave4Darby3d)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 3:02:39 AM   
kitty2MLoneWolf


Posts: 149
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline 		Finding one isnt hard.. its the keeping part that is difficult

_____________________________

used to be jessieme but I got a life <grin>

Dont worry about what other people think....they dont do it very often!

(in reply to ericstanton)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 3:45:16 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i can't say it's difficult to find Someone willing to talk, it's more difficult to find One willing to meet but then i live in a very inconvenient location.  Even so, i have met several Doms in r/t over the years.  Some liked me more than i liked them, some i liked more than they liked me, and two Doms became my good friends even if we don't have any other kind of relationship.   It's important to not want plug-n-play, instaneous relationships.  In my opinion, people don't understand the real joy of discovery and they want everything to happen right now.  Be patient.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to kitty2MLoneWolf)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 4:11:03 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitty2MLoneWolf

Finding one isnt hard.. its the keeping part that is difficult


Keeping a sub or keeping a dom? Keeping my sub is easy. Rope, chain, and duct tape take care of that. However, I do see where a sub can have difficulties trying to keep there dom with the same bondage idea.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to kitty2MLoneWolf)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 6:10:53 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Because most people aren't just seeking ANY man, woman, Dominant, sub, slave, switch...they are seeking a partner. That means they have to find someone who is compatible in many areas. The requirements for a partner usually include a bit more than simply having the correct genitalia and orientation.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to slave4Darby3d)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 8:47:26 AM   
NastyDaddy


Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		Finding also includes finding out things that were not sincere in a potential partner.... often the advertising is better than the "person" who authored it.

_____________________________

"You may be right, I may be crazy... but I may just be the lunatic you're looking for!"

(in reply to slave4Darby3d)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 8:59:19 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		In a word, yes.

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to slave4Darby3d)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 9:35:58 AM   
WhippingPostNY


Posts: 46
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline 		Seems to me it is exactly the same as meeting someone special in ones daily life - only in the case of D/s it's a much smaller pond.

I have found all of my female companions in this life to be adventerous and to have an interest in "playing" at D/s.  To find one who must live that lifestyle is my current quest.  Until now I have settled.

This has been going on for eternity by the way.  Just that the use of media to expedite the meeting has created the "seeking" launguage.

Has the man not always been seeking her though?

WP



_____________________________

In a bedroom locked ... whispers soft. Refusal. And then ... surrender.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 10:52:17 AM   
Pimpernell


Posts: 198
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		Smaller pool = less chance of finding your soul mate.
As you get deeper into certain aspects of the lifestyle the pool gets smaller, there are less subs than switches and less slaves than subs.  Plus then the pool is even smaller because someone's favourite fetish is someone else's hard limit.  Also I think more people in the lifestyle have a greater idea of what they want in life, so may have a longer list of wants and hence a smaller pool.
Any smaller and we'd have a droplet.

(in reply to WhippingPostNY)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 2:35:18 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		It is hard, but what other choice do you have? I did find my slave/wife here, but I searched quite a few years. As others have said, you are seraching in a much smaller pool than the general population. I can't speak for which search is harder, because I have only searched for slaves.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to Pimpernell)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 2:48:24 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		The difficulty of finding what you seek always depends on your criteria ..ie:..attitude,appearance,age,kink,lifestyle,sexual orientation,location,your life as it stands..their life as it stands..baggage factor,and then we get into the chemistry factor...and we wonder why it is sooo hard!...egads!..Tempting

(in reply to slave4Darby3d)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 5:47:05 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4Darby3d

I have read so many posts/profiles and such.  I see men seeking women, women seeking men, subs seeking masters, masters seeking subs, everyone is seeking something. 
I have to ask - is it really that hard for a man to find a woman?  a Dominant to find a submissive? a Master to find a slave?
Which do you think is harder - and why?



It is never easy to find one that touches you and inspires your partnership and hand regardless of orientation or fetishes implied. I believe the difficulty is found in lumping many persons together with divergent needs, desires, and qualifications. In our naivete we are led to believe it can be simpler in some regard because we share similar interests. This does not compensate for the other important characteristics a potential suitor should possess. In my own experiences I have looked upon the individual first and based my decision about who they were as a person, not upon their dominant stature.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to slave4Darby3d)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 8:07:46 PM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Because most people aren't just seeking ANY man, woman, Dominant, sub, slave, switch...they are seeking a partner. That means they have to find someone who is compatible in many areas. The requirements for a partner usually include a bit more than simply having the correct genitalia and orientation.


Amen

_____________________________

owned by painarranger

I am His loyal slave

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 11:10:01 PM   
SavageEu


Posts: 197
Joined: 7/8/2006
Status: offline 		I think it is damn hard to find someone worthy, period. So far I've only found 2 or 3 that really got my blood going in a way that I wanted to own them. Not only do you have to find someone whose interests mesh with yours, and you find them attractive, and they want the type of relationship that you want, you also have to just happen to catch them at a place where they are ready for that sort of commitment (for me atleast, I'm sure that more casual relationships are easier to arrange than 24/7).

So yep, its hard. There is only so much time in the day that can be devoted to the search as well, so even if that person who is perfect is here and paying attention, you might miss them as they give up right before you message them.

Ah I love being a ray of sunshine heh.


_____________________________

"Yes, Dorian, you will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit"

--The Picture of Dorian Gray.

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Finding... - 9/3/2006 11:21:48 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Finding SOMEONE isnt hard. finding the RIGHT ONE is hard.  It took me a lot of loking and a lot of meeting the wrong ones to find my right one. It isnt hard for anyone to find just anyone.  Like its not hard to find sex, but its the love thats the difficult part.
My 2 cents

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SavageEu)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Finding... - 9/4/2006 1:28:41 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4Darby3d

I have read so many posts/profiles and such.  I see men seeking women, women seeking men, subs seeking masters, masters seeking subs, everyone is seeking something. 
I have to ask - is it really that hard for a man to find a woman?  a Dominant to find a submissive? a Master to find a slave?
Which do you think is harder - and why?


It depends on how picky a person is. On how social a person is. etc.

quote:

(and please, people, no flaming on someone else for their answer.  I am asking opinion - which is personal and indisputable. thank you.)

Nicely done ;-)

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to slave4Darby3d)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Finding... - 9/4/2006 7:10:04 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4Darby3d

I have to ask - is it really that hard for a man to find a woman?  a Dominant to find a submissive? a Master to find a slave?
Which do you think is harder - and why?


i'm not sure here, cuz it's not in my exprience...but i would think it's the same world-wide, for both genders.  In spite of all of the "dating" (kink/sr citizen, etc.) websites, it's still pretty much trial and error, with it depending a great deal on the honesty of the people involved.

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to slave4Darby3d)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Finding... - 9/4/2006 1:31:02 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		If you are looking for 'happily ever after with a paddle' you're going to be looking for quite some time.  I've seen some massive trolling in this site.  People who send out 'form letters' never bothering with a profile read.  We are pretty specific, Poly and patient.  Neither of Us will settle for anything less than very close what we want that saves everyone wasting time.  Interests are expandable and learnable.  Personality is what We look for.  As We are married, happily ever after, will have to be with a ... twist.  For Us, as long as you're a NATURAL born female Poly person with violent tendancies, We'll speak to you.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to krikket)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Finding... - 9/5/2006 9:30:01 PM   
slave4Darby3d


Posts: 106
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I was asking the question out of curiosity, not out of my own seeking.  I have been blessed with a great man and a deep relationship. 
I just wanted to see how others felt about their experiences and what challenges may be unique to this particular social "pool".  And I'm always hearing the same things from Doms and subs...

Thanks for the responses.

s4D3d

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 20
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