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ORIGINAL: Homestead

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ORIGINAL: julietsierra

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ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

I think agreements should be honored.  But I also think there should be room for review and renegotiation as people grow and preferences change. 

And this is why we never actually "negotiated." He said his rules, his bus, my ride. I said that I wouldn't leave until he told me to go. It kind of covers everything.(I also hummed the greyhound theme song)

juliet

And that WAS the deal. And you have both honored it since then.

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ORIGINAL: Homestead

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ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

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I covered this by suggesting renegotiation.

Doing it unilaterally is dishonorable.

Agreed.  As a question (hope you do not mind) - do you consider the renegotiation, if it leads to divorce, a new contract - of sorts?

 

Peace and Rapture

No. It's a dissolution of an old contract.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

I covered this by suggesting renegotiation.

Doing it unilaterally is dishonorable.

Agreed.  As a question (hope you do not mind) - do you consider the renegotiation, if it leads to divorce, a new contract - of sorts?

 

Peace and Rapture

No. It's a dissolution of an old contract.

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ORIGINAL: mnottertail

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ORIGINAL: Homestead

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ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

I think agreements should be honored.  But I also think there should be room for review and renegotiation as people grow and preferences change. 

And this is why we never actually "negotiated." He said his rules, his bus, my ride. I said that I wouldn't leave until he told me to go. It kind of covers everything.(I also hummed the greyhound theme song)

juliet

And that WAS the deal. And you have both honored it since then.

In the case of this type of 'contract' what it really flenses out to be is a 'living will'  in essence.  So there needs to be set periods to  revisit  it and consider the present and forseeable  immediate future, as life  progresses.

The alternative in my mind would be that one  or all parties  are expired and it becomes a testament, something to reflect on in times hence.

Ron

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ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Mistress?????????  Oh yike at that Ron - I think we need to re-negociate....

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ORIGINAL: mnottertail

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ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Mistress?????????  Oh yike at that Ron - I think we need to re-negociate....

It had the desired effect of unbalancing you, you are usually so much better at inscribing the queen's english.

Gotcha, now come here!!!!

Ron

It was your charm that unbalanced moi, Ron...

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ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

I covered this by suggesting renegotiation.

Doing it unilaterally is dishonorable.

Agreed.  As a question (hope you do not mind) - do you consider the renegotiation, if it leads to divorce, a new contract - of sorts?

 

Peace and Rapture

No. It's a dissolution of an old contract.

...so therefore honourable and acceptable?

 

Peace and Rapture

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ORIGINAL: julietsierra

But there was no  negotiation. No conversations regarding limits, no nothing. Negotiation implies compromise - a give and take. Negotiation isn't where one person says "choose A.. or .. A" and the other person says "I choose A." Negotiation is "I choose A but with these tiny amendments" and then waits to see if the amendments are amenable to the other person.

When you sign up for a fitness club, they give you a contract and sign it. There is no negotiation on the price or terms. It just is what is. The only other choice is to walk away - and not agree.

Mine's kind of that fitness club contract. No negotiations.

I wasn't talking about a deal being agreed to. I was talking specifically about a negotiation process. When a precedent for negotiation is in place, it presumes that the conditions can be altered later for whatever reasons.

To me, health is not a reason. It's common sense.

And yes, I know, I'm probably splitting hairs, but that whole "do this and this and this to me, but not that and that" process is what we did NOT do. I'm not a "no limits" person (I'd just about lose my head over decapitation play...and amputee play is nothing to break a leg over), but agreed outright (without actually knowing what they were), that his limits are mine.

juliet

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ORIGINAL: julietsierra

As I said, I was speaking in terms of the negotiation process. A deal is much different.

I'm very aware of why we're together. Thank you.

juliet

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ORIGINAL: Homestead

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ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

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ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

I covered this by suggesting renegotiation.

Doing it unilaterally is dishonorable.

Agreed.  As a question (hope you do not mind) - do you consider the renegotiation, if it leads to divorce, a new contract - of sorts?

 

Peace and Rapture

No. It's a dissolution of an old contract.

...so therefore honourable and acceptable?

 

Peace and Rapture

You know better than to ask me a question like that, based only generalities. I would have to know specific circumstances to make judgement of any kind.

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ORIGINAL: Homestead

D/s has quite a bit to do with structure and negotiated agreements. To my way of thinking there are basic morals and ethics a person has-and they need to be made clear and honored.

And if one of the parties later on chooses to violate those without a specific renegotation, it's a deal breaker. What do you think about honoring agreements?

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ORIGINAL: amayos

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ORIGINAL: Homestead

D/s has quite a bit to do with structure and negotiated agreements. To my way of thinking there are basic morals and ethics a person has-and they need to be made clear and honored.

And if one of the parties later on chooses to violate those without a specific renegotation, it's a deal breaker. What do you think about honoring agreements?

Homestead, a good subject, and a timely one, at that.

Agreements should be honored. Honorable people honor agreements. Even the Devil knows it is wise to possess this nobility. As owners and slaves, I feel we are obligated to be direct in our communications, as well—to embrace self-actualization and accountability, in turn. We must be up front with our motives and clear from the beginning about who we are and what we want, and take precautions to measure that same quality in another. If all did this, we would cease to hear most of the incessant whinning and horror stories imparted in the BDSM community.

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ORIGINAL: amayos

If all did this, we would cease to hear most of the incessant whinning and horror stories imparted in the BDSM community.

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ORIGINAL: Homestead

The whining usually arises over people who want what they want, at the expense of the desires and comforts of others. They play games, instead of entering into agreements.