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RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/10/2006 7:53:25 PM   
MzValerie


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline 		"an easy quick buck"????? Do you have an idea the time and effort that goes into being a Pro Domme? I should make $500 an hour for dealing with what I have to. This is where I chose to put My study efforts and went to recieve some formal training at a dungeon as well. So should someone who has taught herself new things and taken EVERY safety course NOT get paid for her efforts? Should I spend $100's a year on equipment and do this for free? I'm married, I am not in search of a boy/girl friend. What would be your "wise advice"?

Don't judge until you have walked in MY shoes....fellow Dom

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/10/2006 10:03:53 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

I've said it before and I'll say it again and again until every man on earth learns it, understands it, and lives it.

If your only focus is on money and "getting it for free" then you don't have what it takes to be a slave.

A slave might be asked to buy dinner, gifts, hand over his wages, and other financial needs.

It is certainly not the Mistress's responsibility to pay for everything.

There is no such thing as FREE slavery.

Slavery is not for cheap selfish males.


If you mean that dominance cannot be had without giving something in exchange, I agree. If you mean that it helps to be willing to spend money as one seeks a BDSM relationship, I agree. However, if you mean dominance cannot be had or slavery cannot be done without giving money in exchange I disagree. I think a sub or a slave can give in exchange a relationship or satisfaction similar to that he derives. I can draw upon personal experience to support this statement.

I spend regularly towards BDSM. But I avoid domination that demands money. The latter is simply not consistent with the type of interaction or relationship I seek.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/10/2006 11:02:37 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

I've said it before and I'll say it again and again until every man on earth learns it, understands it, and lives it.

If your only focus is on money and "getting it for free" then you don't have what it takes to be a slave.

A slave might be asked to buy dinner, gifts, hand over his wages, and other financial needs.

It is certainly not the Mistress's responsibility to pay for everything.

There is no such thing as FREE slavery.

Slavery is not for cheap selfish males.


The man I married never paid for anything. From day one.
He had less than $300 in savings when we got married.
I sent him everything; toys, cameras. I paid the phone bills.
I paid to relocate him.
Now I work, and he does not.
He gives me devotion and time on a selfless level, and it is our mutual choice that he does not need to have a job right now.

While a man may never realize that he must put "something" into a relationship to make it blossom (time, heart, passion), don't mislead people into thinking that a guy must do this with cash only.  It's a tangible thing that many men can access and transfer with more ease than other things in his arsenal -- time, passion, devotion.  Up to the man which he wants to use.

Personally, I love to be the pursuer (I think it is more appropriate for the femdom), including taking financial control.  But he must be a very special man, and he must give back equally -- not necessarily with cash.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 5:53:04 AM   
MzValerie


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

Oh? Well... it was your "sex-worker" comment that I originally responded to with my "hooker with a whip."


"Sex worker" is a much more respectful and generalized term than "hooker".  Phone sex operators, booth girls, cam girls, exotic dancers, fetish models, AND pro dommes are all technically sex workers--and as an erotic photographer, so am I.  Prostitutes are sex workers as well, but they are a small sub-category in a much larger group.

quote:

What's that matter? Can't get your point across without resorting to name calling?


I think I got my point across very well.  Calling pro dommes "hookers" when they don't sell penetrative sex acts or fellatio makes you sound like an asshole.  But if you WANT to sound like an asshole, go ahead and keep it up.

--M


I would have to agree with Morrigel. I AM a Pro Domme, and calling ME a hooker will get your face broken! I do not turn tricks! I expect to be paid for the knowledge I have paid for and the reimbursed for the equipment I have purchased to be used...ON YOU. I think most subs that display attitudes, such as this one, wouldn't be happy if s/he found a Domme anyhow. There's always SOMEthing to complain about. I make those ones pay an extra tribute for listening to their whiney voices......LOL

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 6:47:05 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Render therefore unto Caesarina the things that are Caesarina's.

J. C.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to MzValerie)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 7:43:45 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

I haven't CALLED you anything.  I have suggested you adjust your vocabulary to be more accurate and potentially less offensive.

If you want a "hooker with a whip"--you're not looking for a pro domme.  You're looking for a prostitute.  There is usually at least one girl in any town who will perform as a prostitute while dressed in leather, and throw in a bit of kink while she blows and bangs people.  But such a woman IS in fact a "hooker" (already an unnecessarily offensive term, by the way), with or without a whip.  She is not a pro domme per se, because most pro dommes DO NOT SELL the acts that a standard prostitute does.

I do not care, one way or the other, what your interests are sexually or what you spend your money on, so "approval" is a meaningless word.  Many of my personal friends are sex workers of various kinds, and I have nothing against ANY sexual profession.  Nor do I have anything against their clients, so long as you are polite and respectful--and in the context of this thread, so long as you use terms that do not mislead others.




It's really too bad that you didn't carefully read and comprehend what I was saying. Never once did I infer that ProDommes are hookers with whips. I've been around the block more than enough times to clearly understand the difference between the two.

I made it very clear in post 44 that I was discussing the economic advantages of paying to have sexually-submissive fantasies and kinks fulfilled and getting one's jollies off. How on earth could you or anyone honestly draw a conclusion that I was referring to a ProDomme? Indeed, I was referring to a prostitute with a whip.

I find it noteworthy that when I used the term "hooker with a whip" in that same post, it wasn't a problem for you. In fact, you even responded to it with a lead! But then later in this thread, the identical term became a problem for you. Why is that, Morrigel? I invite you to honestly explain that to us. 

I understand the subtle differences between directly calling someone a name, and implying a name indirectly as you have done. Nevertheless, I know a cheap-shot insult when I see one. And anyone who pulls that crap with me is going to get called on it.

You may try to sugarcoat your insult by explaining that you didn't directly call me a name. Such sugarcoating may fool some of the people here, but it doesn't fool me.

But you didn't like being called, did you? You went on to dishonestly twist, back-pedal, and even appoint yourself as Police Of The Boards, outrageously implying that your motivation here is to monitor against potentially misleading terms. Well, according to your convoluted logic, wouldn't the term hooker with a whip been just as "misleading" in post 44?

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 8:00:34 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeniluscious

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever
So if someone has an interest that you don't approve of (in this case, a hooker with a whip) then that gives you the right to publicly call that person an asshole?


If you'll stop being defensive, you'll notice that Morrigel did NOT call you an asshole; she said using a really offensive bit of terminology made you SOUND like an asshole. 

You're doin fine on proving her right, though, all by yourself. 



Yes, well... the so-called "offensive terminology" seemed just fine with her earlier in this thread, didn't it? So fine, in fact, that she provided me with a potential lead.

Did you not bother to actually read this thread before jumping on the attack-bandwagon?

I find it interesting that someone with an average of one post every three weeks felt it necessary to jump in here to give me a shot.

(in reply to Jeniluscious)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 9:05:27 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Apparently, I have subconsciously enabled my SAM triggers, and have been non-consensually smacked for it, but I just want to throw out there that implying that you would like to insult them, to me, is the same thing as actually insulting someone.

That is what my last post was getting at.

Yours,


benji


Nah... that was just my way of saying "Stay tuned."

I really didn't understand the rules when a Mod intervenes with a stop message. That's all.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 9:21:51 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Personally, I love to be the pursuer (I think it is more appropriate for the femdom), including taking financial control.  But he must be a very special man, and he must give back equally -- not necessarily with cash.

Akasha


I think it's more appropriate for the femdom to be the pursuer too. But it takes a truly confident and secure alpha-woman to put herself in a position to be rejected. This may be why you are more of the exception than the rule.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 9:26:30 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ajara

hello dear
how are u doing i will like u o give me your email so that i will add u and u and know more about i will need your yahoo id so that i will ad for chating i like u so much and u have a very nice pic i can see u are very nice man to me try to mail me back


Umm... you must be mistaking me for someone else. I don't have a photo posted here.

Assuming, for a moment, that you are being sincere... such requests should be made on the "other side" in the profile section.  

(in reply to ajara)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 9:38:50 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

quote:

ORIGINAL: ajara

hello dear
how are u doing i will like u o give me your email so that i will add u and u and know more about i will need your yahoo id so that i will ad for chating i like u so much and u have a very nice pic i can see u are very nice man to me try to mail me back


Umm... you must be mistaking me for someone else. I don't have a photo posted here.

Assuming, for a moment, that you are being sincere... such requests should be made on the "other side" in the profile section.  


When you assume, you make an ASS out of U & ME, subfever.

Buy you a beer if that was anything but spam.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 9:51:50 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Fast reply:

My guess is that was a Nigerian scammer posting inappropriately in this thread.  The profile has all the warning signs.  Good job on the mods for catching it quick.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 10:04:34 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

quote:

ORIGINAL: ajara

hello dear
how are u doing i will like u o give me your email so that i will add u and u and know more about i will need your yahoo id so that i will ad for chating i like u so much and u have a very nice pic i can see u are very nice man to me try to mail me back


Umm... you must be mistaking me for someone else. I don't have a photo posted here.

Assuming, for a moment, that you are being sincere... such requests should be made on the "other side" in the profile section.  


When you assume, you make an ASS out of U & ME, subfever.

Buy you a beer if that was anything but spam.

Yours,


benji


LOL... I remember the first time I saw Tony Randall's ass/u/me skit on The Odd Couple many years ago.

Also, when I said "for a moment" I was really thinking "for a millisecond" ... but I just happened to be feeling particularly generous at that moment.

A 1000 to 1 that I'll be waiting on that beer for a while...

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 11:03:18 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever
I think it's more appropriate for the femdom to be the pursuer too. But it takes a truly confident and secure alpha-woman to put herself in a position to be rejected. This may be why you are more of the exception than the rule.
I saw this, and your "trully" confident statement made me want to respond...   It may be the hunter/prey thing I've seen in life by men pursuing, or nature, or the way I was raised, or any number of things, but whenever I've done the pursuing, it has not gone well...  I usually end up with a man who is too lazy to make the effort in courtship, who thinks it's my job to chase him, pay for everything, and of course put out pronto.  I've considered that maybe it is because I'm awkward in that role, since I honestly like my men to work at attaining/retaining my attention and affection. 

I don't believe pursuing men is the indicator of whether one is confident or not...   In some vernaculars actually it is considered to be the act of a desperate lady who is unable to attract attention/pursuit from potential suitors.  
I don't love rejection, but am okay with understanding that just as I'm not a Goddess to everyone, everyone is not meant to be my man/sub/slave, so not pursuing isn't always about fearing rejection.   I simply wanted to say that some of us don't do the pursuing simply because it is not how we work.   M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 12/11/2006 11:25:18 AM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 11:42:25 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I don't believe pursuing men is the indicator of whether one is confident or not


I agree with you. It's not the indicator, it's merely an indicator.

I tried to carefully word my response to Akaska without using all/none, black/white absolutes.

Certainly, being the pursuer will not work for all femdoms, and I'm confident that many malesubs are just fine with that! ...

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 11:54:45 AM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

quote:

I don't believe pursuing men is the indicator of whether one is confident or not


I agree with you. It's not the indicator, it's merely an indicator.

I tried to carefully word my response to Akaska without using all/none, black/white absolutes.

Certainly, being the pursuer will not work for all femdoms, and I'm confident that many malesubs are just fine with that! ...


I agree with this too. There are times when I will “hunt” but I would say that I’m more of the type, at least today, that kicks back and EXPECTS someone to get my attention and then keep it.


  I’m not saying that I wouldn’t consider a “stay at home slave” with no income. I might, however the chances of me meeting a male that is BROKE, has nothing, then move him into my home and make him part of my life, are very slim.


  Then again there are special circumstances for everything.


_____________________________



(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 1:01:34 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

quote:

I don't believe pursuing men is the indicator of whether one is confident or not


I agree with you. It's not the indicator, it's merely an indicator.

I tried to carefully word my response to Akaska without using all/none, black/white absolutes.

Certainly, being the pursuer will not work for all femdoms, and I'm confident that many malesubs are just fine with that! ...


I agree with this too. There are times when I will “hunt” but I would say that I’m more of the type, at least today, that kicks back and EXPECTS someone to get my attention and then keep it.


I’m not saying that I wouldn’t consider a “stay at home slave” with no income. I might, however the chances of me meeting a male that is BROKE, has nothing, then move him into my home and make him part of my life, are very slim.


Then again there are special circumstances for everything.



Hmm... <as he ponders quitting his job and going for the long shot>...

(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 2:28:50 PM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

quote:

I don't believe pursuing men is the indicator of whether one is confident or not


I agree with you. It's not the indicator, it's merely an indicator.

I tried to carefully word my response to Akaska without using all/none, black/white absolutes.

Certainly, being the pursuer will not work for all femdoms, and I'm confident that many malesubs are just fine with that! ...


I agree with this too. There are times when I will “hunt” but I would say that I’m more of the type, at least today, that kicks back and EXPECTS someone to get my attention and then keep it.


I’m not saying that I wouldn’t consider a “stay at home slave” with no income. I might, however the chances of me meeting a male that is BROKE, has nothing, then move him into my home and make him part of my life, are very slim.


Then again there are special circumstances for everything.



Hmm... <as he ponders quitting his job and going for the long shot>...


Go fish!


_____________________________



(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 2:58:13 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		"those who can, do...those who can't charge by the hour"

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 12/11/2006 3:25:39 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		"Those who will never have a mistress, do nothing but whine and throw themselves pity parties."

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 100
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