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The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 1:48:34 PM   
servantanthony


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Is it the tired eyes of a submissive losing the faith or has the world of BDSM changed? It seems in my eyes, that money domination is taking a more prevelant part in BDSM life. These days even if not mentioned in the profile it is not uncommon for a Mistress to 'demand' so called financial gifts in order for males to talk to them. Is there anyone who is still interested in the old values of bdsm, the actual power exchange or is this world just about money?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 2:17:04 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I don't give a crap about money, gifts or tribute. I make enough money on my own and I know there are other Dommes on this forum who are the same way. I have a sub and he serves me well, thats all that matters to me.

Unfortnately yes there are Dom/mes who care for nothing but money/gifts and people like that are to be found in all walks of life.
Keep searching you will find the one for you.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to servantanthony)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 3:15:31 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I actually don't think money domination is as prevalent as you may perceive that it is. What you are experiencing is perception bias, which is caused by noticing that the easiest path to achieving what you desire is through the noise caused by dominants who advertise seeking your money. Finding someone who isn't a money domme is a longer path, which means you have to participate in forums, seek out partners from real communities, and explore avenues that a simple phone call isn't going to allow you to achieve in an easy manner.

The women who are seeking submissives and slaves are real, but that's the perception bias problem you have to work your way through. Being real, they aren't just fantasies. They have wants and desires, and they don't exist to cater specifically to your fantasies. Sometimes, it takes a submissive years to discover this, even though it should be obvious and quite readily apparent. It took me some years to figure this out as I was discovering bdsm by reading femdom newspapers and magazines, convinced that it was all about the fantasy. No, the publishing avenue was all about the fantasy, and thus, it took me some time to realize that there were real people behind the facades that were built up around bondage and discipline.

I've come across MANY women in my time in bdsm communities who are very real and not seeking your money. But the work to get in those circles took time and effort. A horny guy seeking to get his rocks off (and I'm not saying that's what you are) is going to have a harder time connecting in that environment than he will in an environment that caters to him, the pay for play environment.

(in reply to servantanthony)
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RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 3:40:50 PM   
shri


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings,

I am aware of Gorean Masters who expect their kajira to support them. I also know of others who fully support their slaves. It must just be the luck of the draw so to speak. Keep looking and you will find what you're looking for.

well wishes...shri

(in reply to servantanthony)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 3:46:20 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Some do, some don't ... If the slave wishes to work and is able ... she contributes to the home where she resides if 24/7 with Us.  If she is a 24/7 in house domestic/physical slave, she is more like literal property and My responsibility.  It depends.  I would steer clear of those that claim to 'train' you as each household you would enter is different.  Training should be done by the Dom/me you are owned by.  I don't personally care if you've had 100 years worth of training.  You enter My home, I train you so any bad habits some other Dom/me has taught you can be broken to conform to what We wish.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to shri)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 3:54:18 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
I don't give a crap about money, gifts or tribute. I make enough money on my own and I know there are other Dommes on this forum who are the same way.


Ditto for Me and I know plenty of Dommes who feel the same way.
 
I do know where the OP is coming from, though.  I have no objection at all to Pro-Dommes who are up front about what they expect in their profiles.  Male submissives have told Me, however, that some Dommes who made no mention whatsoever of expecting tribute in their profiles brought it up later.  One asked a male sub I know if he wanted to exchange photos.  They did, then she asked him where her gift card was.  Apparently she expected one for exchanging photos.  Another male sub I know replied to the ad of a Domme who made no mention of tribute in her profile  They exchanged several e-mail and talked on the phone, still no mention of tribute.  When they finally met  in person for lunch she told him "you'll do" and to meet her the following Friday for a play session, and oh by the way, the tribute would be $200.  He basically told her to take a hike.
 
To the OP--like others have said, if you keep looking, you will find a sincere Domme who is not into it for the money, but it takes time and patience.
 
Lady Topaz


< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 9/4/2006 3:56:26 PM >

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 4:29:40 PM   
foxxxie


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Sydney
Status: offline 		the money issue never came up in our relationship (we're 24/7), money is dealt with as in a vanilla marriage I suppose... equal responsibility.

I've never asked for any money from others who submit to me, I just don't think that's what it's about... but if they want to buy me presents, who am I to refuse ;)

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 4:37:03 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		If i were in it for the money, my boy would have been in trouble.  He is a student.
Do I turn down gifts, no. Do I ask for them? nope.
When we become 24/7 my boy will be signing everything over to me.  He has agreed to the arrangement.  Is it because I want his money, no, I have my own. However, since I will be making all the financial decisions and paying all the bills... it only makes sense I control all the money.
Not all dommes are in it for the quick buck, and not al the ones that are are bad people. They might not be your cup of tea, so avoid them.  But to each their own.  You search around long enough and youll find someone who isnt looking for tribute.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to foxxxie)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 5:20:05 PM   
mp072004


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, Anthony, there are lots of people interested in power exchange without money. For what it's worth, there are lots of people into BDSM who want neither power exchange nor money. I don't know if financial domination has become more prevalent in the last decade, but I'm quite sure there are other BDSM activities that have risen in popularity more dramatically in recent years. Rope bondage comes to mind as an example of a current fashion.

Monica


(in reply to servantanthony)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 5:29:44 PM   
MochaMistress


Posts: 275
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline 		Many of us are not in it for the tribute or money. Some actually are looking for one good submissive to have a LTR with. Just have to keep looking.

(in reply to servantanthony)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 5:36:59 PM   
tanbunns


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/5/2004
Status: offline 		hello mistress,  iv ran into  a cpl of money wannabe doms  wanted $  and said there would be  R/T  but never was.    how does a sub  get collared  or find a mistress  that will make her and myself  happy

(in reply to MochaMistress)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 5:37:47 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		it seems that there are quiet a few out there that want to make an easy buck these days.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to servantanthony)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 5:41:58 PM   
tanbunns


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/5/2004
Status: offline 		hello  sarbonn    everything you have said  im finding true,  just wish  there wasnt so much footwork involved.     

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 5:43:35 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		personally, i think it falls under the rule against finacial slavery...but this is not my site so i have no control over that or they all would be out. (just my personal feelings on the subject which are not shared by many here...including the MODs)


< Message edited by michaelGA2 -- 9/4/2006 5:44:38 PM >

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to tanbunns)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 6:43:08 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Servantanthony,
 
I understand your predicament-- it's hard to find a match in vanilla world, never mind on the other side.  But don't give up your search.  As both a lifestyle Mistress and a  pro, webdomme, I can personally attest that not all Mistresses enter the world of BDSM for only the money.  I do it professionally but I also play in an non-professional realm as well; I play privately with my personal slave and with close friends of mine.  But for the Mistresses that solely do it professionally, that is their choice.  Patently the demand is there or else there wouldn't be any pros around.  So long as people are forthright, it's okay as far as I'm concerned.  Unfortunately, there are "mistresses" that mislead, steal and con subs (i.e., phony "pros" who know nothing about the lifestyle and don't care to know either) and on the flip side, there are jerk offs calling themselves masters but really are just a bunch of angry, bitter  psychos with a whip looking for an outlet for the release of their pent up anger.  Yet despite this, you have to keep your chin up and keep on looking.  Truly, it's amazing - - the slew of differences in peoples needs and desires:  some want a BDSM romantic life partner, some want total 24/7 slavery only, some want an occasional side distraction from their mundane vanilla lives (a temporary escape), etc, etc.  Whatever it may be, servantanthony, know what you want and keep searching; you'll find your match out there for sure.

(in reply to servantanthony)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 6:50:42 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: servantanthony

Is it the tired eyes of a submissive losing the faith or has the world of BDSM changed? It seems in my eyes, that money domination is taking a more prevelant part in BDSM life. These days even if not mentioned in the profile it is not uncommon for a Mistress to 'demand' so called financial gifts in order for males to talk to them. Is there anyone who is still interested in the old values of bdsm, the actual power exchange or is this world just about money?



You should also ask yourself what types of profiles you are responding to and whether or not what you are attracted to is resulting in a higher level of people requesting, demanding or expecting financial exchanges.

If you go for the profiles with amazing fetish pictures, you might be going after more prodoms who, because it is their profession and one way or the way they make a living, expect money.

If you go after the profiles with certain types of language in them then again you may be reaching out to more prodoms.

Consider who you are approaching but I know for certain that many dominants of both sexes want nothing to do with a financial exchange but you may not be going after those people because maybe they don't have the slick picture or the fetish language.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to servantanthony)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 7:20:11 PM   
reelthyme


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/10/2006
Status: offline 		I must agree with servantanthony with the following provisos; I have no problem with prodommes and, I have no problem with an established M/s relationship deciding that the slave should relinquish all of their assests.  My problem and I believe servantanthony's lies with this recent onslaught of blatant gold diggers who equate submissive with stupid.  "give me your money, pig, and I will laugh at you"  Give me a break!  They are an insult to true dominants everywhere and should be kicked off the system, period!  Hang in there anthony, you are not alone.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 8:12:09 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear servantanthony, Ladies and Gentlemen,
 
Lad, it is a long path no matter where you call home around the globe, as far as finding 'the one.'
 
Be the jolly lad you are--I have faith in your patience as to go for quality over quantity, you are worth the investment and you know such.  Look in your browser under BDSM-UK or England.  Seek those areas that people gather to, not on line alone.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to servantanthony)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 8:23:53 PM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I actually don't think money domination is as prevalent as you may perceive that it is..... A horny guy seeking to get his rocks off (and I'm not saying that's what you are) is going to have a harder time connecting in that environment than he will in an environment that caters to him, the pay for play environment.


littlesarbonn has made a very interesting and valid point...but as usual TammyJo has nailed it on the head...

quote:


You should also ask yourself what types of profiles you are responding to and whether or not what you are attracted to is resulting in a higher level of people requesting, demanding or expecting financial exchanges.

When I talk to the new submissives on the site, quite often, I have found that they are responding to the "commercial" profiles. Not the profiles of the non-commercial Dominants.

As suggested the "fet pics" and the "I will rule you" profile capture their interest. (not unlike bright shiney objects for a magpie), so my suggestion is read deeper, read postings (if online) or better yet...get out in the community and meet people.

In answer to your direct questions;  yes, many of us are interested in the values and cultural integrity of the BDSM community, perhaps not so many interested in TPE but it is certainly supported by the community at large.



_____________________________

Quoth the raven

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The great gift/tribute/money domme question - 9/4/2006 8:27:49 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: servantanthony

Is it the tired eyes of a submissive losing the faith or has the world of BDSM changed? It seems in my eyes, that money domination is taking a more prevelant part in BDSM life. These days even if not mentioned in the profile it is not uncommon for a Mistress to 'demand' so called financial gifts in order for males to talk to them. Is there anyone who is still interested in the old values of bdsm, the actual power exchange or is this world just about money?


There are many of us who are here and it's not about the money.  Like it or not, there is demand for those for whom a transaction that is financially based IS a reality. Pro doms DO have a valid place in the BDSM community for those who for whatever reason, make their choice to serve someone on a contractual basis.

What to do? Politely tell the person you're not interested and move on.  Learn the keywords.  Learn to pick more carefully.  It's a reality, and it's not going away because you post a whine about it on the CM boards!

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to servantanthony)
Profile   Post #: 20
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