MistressTheaZ
Posts: 155
Joined: 7/17/2005 Status: offline
|
Hi cherylann, Welcome, and interesting question, indeed. I think it is good advice to really think about what your submission means to you, (written above.) You wrote that the you felt the pleasure of obedience is not felt more than when the submissive goes beyond their own wants and desires and obeys to please their Dominant, and this is a good place to start, most definitely. For Me personally, (JMO), I feel that your Dominant is your guide, your teacher, your friend, and your partner through exploring all aspects of D/s: mental, emotional and physical. The foundation of trust and mutual caring between you provides for the submissive to learn and grow through the Dominant's teachings, learning more about themselves as they learn how to best satisfy and serve according to their Dominant's wants, needs and desires. Is it about you? No. That said, you are always a person, and your own wants, needs, desires, fears and hopes should always be considered and weighed accordingly. A good Dominant will want to know you, thoroughly and implicitly, and will ask you to reach within yourself to explore the parts of yourself that even you do not yet know. Building your strengths and exposing your weaknesses to enable them to also be made into strengths makes for a fulfilled, happy and healthy partner, friend and submissive. I tend to think there are elements to compatibility that apply to any relationship, D/s or otherwise. As a Sadistic Dominant, I tend to attract submissives who mirror My own interests and style, and certainly I would carefully consider the compatibility of Our respective limits, interests and hopes going forward. I'd think it short-sighted not to do so. I'd look for someone whom I could engage on multiple levels - personally and within play - as, ideally, it is truly the person as a whole who attracts Me and holds My interest, not their list of do's or do not's. Overall, I think there is less focus on 'limits' as some sort of goal to be reached or a designated marker to push a slave or sub past or through as you may suspect, (at least for many.) I do not begin any relationship - servitude or otherwise - with some goal in mind. There is no destination other than to learn about one another, grow, reach, hope, want, share and explore...more akin to a journey. As I learn about My sub and they begin to learn about Me - what I need, what I want, how to please Me - the reach becomes deeper, and deeper, and deeper. The sub grows in their submission, and develops depth within their experiences. Limits are reached, redefined. It becomes rather relative after a time, as trust has developed to a point in which the desire to please often overrides any lingering fears. At that point, when limits have faded away to a larger degree, the sub becomes refined within their service, and it becomes more about what you share and the relationship you have together. Or so has been My experience. Best, ~Thea
|