RE: Through my question may others learn

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MizSuz -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/6/2005 8:16:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetlyMisguided Very true Suz, but when someone says you will either A) Share your hotel room with them and they are bringing their toys, or B) You will be footing the bill for half their room... One can only assume in one direction. Correct, I would assume he is presumptuous. That's all I would assume, everything else is speculation. I've had guys tell me they would pay for my room (and had said my "private" room), only to discover upon arrival at a packed hotel that there were no new rooms and the guy had only booked one bed. He slept on the floor, and was graciously grateful that I allowed him to stay, given the lack of available rooms.

SweetlyMisguided -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/6/2005 8:20:08 PM)
Muchious el gracious for your kind words... It's amazing how few men there are left in the world like you... Ones who will simply nod, smile, and be appreciative that there are women left in the world who will wait months if not years for someone to return home from war... Though I think now I need to go and see Rules of Engagement... quote: ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet Well sweetlyMisguided, I've read your profile so I know what you are looking for. If I were to be a nice guy and show you around town, I woudn't be planning a hotel for you or even want anything to go past having a nice meal, some drinks, conversation, and chit chat on how you can be a better sub and me a better dom. Other than that, I wouldn't want anything to do with you untill after I had a converstaion with your man. I remember watching the movie Rules of Engagement and the question "Have you ever had a pissed off Marine on your ass?" Well I have and it's an experience I never want to go through again. [:o] Besides, if and when I meet ppl who I know are taken, I just pefer to talk, meet, and gain trust with there significant others for trust purposes and that I don't get my friend into any trouble nor become an issue over jealousy. Other than that just because you're submissive dosnen't mean you can't tell a guy who just wants to get some to "Fuck Off I'm taken and it's rude of you to think of me as such" It's his bad for making all the plans without even telling you about them. It's his bad for having this "I'm gonna get some" plan with out having any conversation with you about the subject. You did the right thing, and you stayed true to your MAN. Gongrats and keep up your faithfullness. When your man comes back to TX, I'd like to buy you two a drink. One for you Mans service to our USA country and two because you are sweet and a proud sub. [image]local://upfiles/68772/8C531C3494544500ABED9F1ECE930F00.jpg[/image]

Bigbossman4u -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/6/2005 8:23:57 PM)
sm If it's not a matter of miscommunication (which it doesn't sound like it is) then IMO what's wrong with the picture is...simple. The guy is either A) delusional, B) the ultimate narcissist or C) playing games with friendhsip (or the feign of it). Lessons to be learned... trust can be given too easily. Thankfully, thouhg it can take a while to see em, eventually the true colors come out - good and bad.. In the case of bad.... the only question is how bad & how much damage is done before discovery. IN your case be grateful you found out this 'friend' wasn't a 'friend' before ya got any friendlier <g> Best Joshua <don't mind me, I'm recently out of a very deceitful serious relationship with a sociopath.. a bit jaded right now>

proudsub -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/6/2005 8:51:06 PM)
I agree with most of the replies here that the guy was way out of line. However, i am curious what your online conversations consisted of, was there a lot of sex talk that might of given him the wrong idea?

SweetlyMisguided -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/6/2005 10:11:32 PM)
There was never any talk of sex/playing or anything. I made it clear from the beginning of our friendship that I was happy and did not play/sleep with others... I'm guessing that he may have thought since my other half was in Iraq that I would be willing to do things with him gone... Nope nada... ain't happening. it's almost like the many emails I get a day now despite my profile that offer "training" while he is away... or telling me that I am young and stupid for waiting and all I need is someone to show me what I am missing[>:] How pathetic. quote: ORIGINAL: proudsub I agree with most of the replies here that the guy was way out of line. However, i am curious what your online conversations consisted of, was there a lot of sex talk that might of given him the wrong idea?

bottominwa -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/6/2005 10:19:03 PM)
It ain't only you sister...this girl receives atleast ten emails a day wanting to "train" me whilst Master is in the sandbox...or tkae me away to a better life....on a white horse...chivalry is dead fellas ain't ya heard...lmao [:D] It just goes with the territory of being married to the military you are just now starting your journey...wait until you live on post and the rear detachment decides it is their personal mission to keep you physically healthy while your husband is deployed...lmao such is the life we lead...shot you an email, if you ever need to talk to an ear thats been there done all that this girl is here. sabrina King House of King

OrientalMistress -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/7/2005 5:02:14 AM)
All right..the fellow was presumptuous...he did over step himself...as we all know "assumption makes an ass..out of u and me" ...but let's not go too far in the blame corner with him... You say you don't mind having your last name out there...then, you can expect every so often that a "freak" will come calling. Another bad move...you called him using your own phone? That's something I would never do unless I truly knew the individual to whom I was calling...not just thought that I did. Of course, you did not expect the answer that you got but still, you could always tell the hotel to keep your room totally unknown but to say your "Marine" and a few close friends or family. As to warning signs, if the dealing in IM was as innocuous as you say, then there ware none; and yet another reason for keeping your real identity held close to your chest {not to those on the other end of cyber who may or may not be telling you all the truth." Finally, when you told him that you would be away in California...or whereever...be no more specific than that but also add the caveat... "I will be on business and I'll have no time for fun and games." That should always illicit a response if there is any perversive intent. Oh, yes...it is my perception that you had made it quite clear to this "guy" that he was not nor never would be a Dominant in your life... :} May wisdome guide your steps... Madam tau

Mercnbeth -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/7/2005 7:49:13 AM)
quote: Careful there Merc, you'll have us all believing Dally and her experiences to be the general truth about men and their integrity, wink... M BlkTall, I'm not trying to come across as self deprecating, but perhaps it's not too far from fact. I'm always saying how rare and valuable slaves are in general, and beth is in particular. Maybe good men are just as rare, and good Masters rarest of all. I don't think beth would disagree.

txparanoid -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/7/2005 6:09:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub4hire I have to take the other side of the coin on this. It is very hard for me to imagine a man purchasing a plane ticket. Taking time off of work...etc..etc. For someone they do not even know off of online. The way I read it, he was not even really a casual friend. All he knew of you was you were pregnant and involved with someone who was not him. So, how would he know your last name if he came? The caller id thing on the phone would give him the hotel yes. However not the room number. Why would you be calling this man when you have someone waiting for you at home? I think he was no doubt at least in his mind. Lead on. He would not have reacted the way he had unless he did believe that. Did he overstep his bounds. Yes. However one cannot overstep bounds if you didn't allow it to happen in the first place. I completely disagree. There's no "lead on" in "I'm already in a mongamous relationship." There are tons of reasons you might give a person online your last name and not be interested in sex. How about "Why don't you read this article I wrote?" (with a byline) Or any number of things. Hell, there's tons of reasons you might meet someone online and, when they come to your state, let them stay over. Hell, you might even have a one night stand. But only IF INVITED. That's the biggie. And no "leading" bull - there'd need to be a clear invitation. Any guy who doesn't get that isn't playing with a full deck.

harmony3709 -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/7/2005 6:36:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth Maybe good men are just as rare, and good Masters rarest of all. Ahhh........truer words have never been spoken. harmony

EStrict -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/8/2005 4:07:04 AM)
Out of curiosity, did this business meeting happen before or after your marine wrote you and told you he wasn't willing to accept a 2nd child? Since that post was 6 days before this one, could it be possible that you said something to this friend that made him believe you were no longer as involved in your relationship? I don't read the boards as much as I use to, so if I missed something between your being upset at your dominant for claiming you to have gotten pregnant on purpose (especially as extra caution should have been used after warnings after your life threatening delivery a year ago to make you realize more than normal precautions should be observed) and this dominant thinking that you might be seeking more than you felt you were saying? Just curious....

SweetlyMisguided -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/8/2005 7:10:04 AM)
This happened a few months ago EStrict

SweetlyMisguided -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/8/2005 8:02:56 AM)
EStrict, I'd also be curious to know, do you feel it's right or okay to even days after something like that happened, approach a submissive and all but insist as he did? Regardless or not, even after events like that take place whether words, uncollaring, being released, etc... one does deserve the time to heal without being approached.

EStrict -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/8/2005 11:14:47 AM)
No Misguided, I do not say or claim that his actions where correct. However I am a big believer in being fair and looking at all sides of the story. You say this was a couple a months ago. Well, in early October (after already saying you were pregnant and due in March), you wrote that the search is on again. If this is something you did on and off it can send signals you did not mean or even were aware of. You are cute, young and sound vunerable. Though I am not part of your private converstaions with this person, I do know what I DO see shows that sometimes you may appear more available than you realize..... This is not a personal attack, and I don't want it to turn into a flame war. I have some stronger comments I will hold to say if you wish to speak about this further off or the forum. They are thoughts that I would hope would make you think, but may not be ones you are willing or able to accept at face value which is why I have chosen to not make them here.... Feel free to write me on the other side at any time.

darkpetal -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/9/2005 7:19:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetlyMisguided quote: ORIGINAL: sub4hire I have to take the other side of the coin on this. It is very hard for me to imagine a man purchasing a plane ticket. Taking time off of work...etc..etc. For someone they do not even know off of online. The way I read it, he was not even really a casual friend. All he knew of you was you were pregnant and involved with someone who was not him. So, how would he know your last name if he came? The caller id thing on the phone would give him the hotel yes. However not the room number. Why would you be calling this man when you have someone waiting for you at home? I think he was no doubt at least in his mind. Lead on. He would not have reacted the way he had unless he did believe that. Did he overstep his bounds. Yes. However one cannot overstep bounds if you didn't allow it to happen in the first place. Ok to begin with... Yes he was just a "casual" friend... Everyone I meet/talk to knows I'm pregnant and that I am involved with a Marine. EVERYONE. I hide that from no one. My profiles online hide that from no one. Why would I be calling this person when I have someone waiting at home? My god... are you telling me I have no right to friends? Even my Marine will differ with you there. I have every right to have friends and talk to whomever I please as long as it falls within his guidelines. So someone knows my last name... Big whoop. I don't try to hide that. As for letting someone overstep bounds... that's almost as bad as saying "she couldn't really be raped because she really did want it... she just LET him overstep her boundries..." Think on that... seriously. DANG!!! Did CM led me to a wrong profile? i read absolutely NOTHING about sweetlymisguided being taken by anyone or anywho let alone a Marine. i read she is looking for a sugar daddy....are there 2 (two) sweetlymisguided profiles??

topcat -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/9/2005 8:04:08 PM)
Dear 'Petal- ahem. quote: i change my profile frequetly for i am an evolving human being. Last time I looked, SM's peofile was very clear about her Marine. She has, it seems, changed it in the light of the events here: 'not taking this well...' I compleatly understand your confusion, but there was more to the story that others of us were aware of- it is no fualt of yours that you were not. Stay warm, Lawrence

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/9/2005 8:06:28 PM)
Sub4hire, Estrict and you are all hitting on something... I wonder if sweet is paying attention. While it's not impossible that a man is presumptuous, not many are eager to waste beaucoup dollars without any hope for something; Though he is something of a superfreak, if he wanted to go meet and do somebody else's very pregnant woman, lol. I wish misguided a lot of luck. M

sub4hire -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/10/2005 2:34:38 AM)
quote: Last time I looked, SM's peofile was very clear about her Marine. She has, it seems, changed it in the light of the events here: I don't even see a profile but of course I"m all hopped up on expectorant. Soooo, maybe I am not thinking 100% straight. Anyway, everyone knows my opinion and in light of more communication on this thread. Answers to some questions. I feel even stronger about my original thoughts.

proudsub -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/10/2005 7:53:47 AM)
quote: I don't even see a profile Hmmmmm it was there yesterday. Hope she is ok.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Through my question may others learn (1/10/2005 10:45:45 AM)
quote: No more wrong than assuming because someone wants help with a hotel room to accomplish a visit it means their motive was to get laid. <shrug> Perspective. Excellent point Mis Suz - "Perspective". Consider there is very little defense when answering a law suit concerning sexual harassment. A comment as neutral as; "That outfit really looks good on you.", can be sited as grounds for sexual harassment in the work place. Why? The 'perspective' of the person receiving the comment. Can anyone argue the Sweetly's perspective was that she was harassed? Take the scenario just one step further. Instead of calling and letting her know he was coming to visit, suppose he just showed up and knocked on her door, or even managed go get into her room. Does he now become a stalker or worst - an attempted rapist? Authorities will base their opinion on only one source - Sweetly's. Is there any doubt if the scenario was played out to the point of police being called who would end up in handcuffs - and not the fur lined leather ones? In this case, even if her suitor's intentions were innocent, her 'friend' put himself more at risk than he probably appreciated or realizes. Communication to the point that this variable perspective isn't possible MUST occur before any meeting. Visit surprises are very nice - but NOT the first visit. No matter how intense, romantic, and sexually fulfilling your on-line "relationship" is, the result of just showing up can result in you having the perspective of a jail cell. Reverse the sexes and/or the lifestyle roles and the risk doesn't change. This is why any Dom/me needs to be just as wary and security conscience as the sub they are meeting.

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