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RE: finding the "One" - 9/7/2006 8:11:13 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I've always said the surest way to fuck up your life with a relationship is to be sincerely happy and busy as a singleton.

But that's not universal and it tends to just piss off the ones frustrated in their seeking.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 21

RE: finding the "One" - 9/7/2006 8:13:57 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: njoyingdajourney

you know..iv`e been on this site for a while and i have noticed that you are a very negative person.......try a little positivity once in a while...............

LA is not negative ... she's helpful and real.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to njoyingdajourney)

Post #: 22

RE: finding the "One" - 9/7/2006 8:15:12 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

i've been searching for over 10 years...still hoping though

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to babysburnin)

Post #: 23

RE: finding the "One" - 9/7/2006 8:18:37 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I think there is a lot of truth to that. My profile "over there" left no doubt I had a life, what I was looking for, and that I was not going to be "submissive" to just anybody. I stated unequivocably I wanted a longterm permanent relationship and eventual marriage... pretty bold on a sex site...lol. There was nothing meek or submissive about my profile "over there", and many interesting people actually read my profile. I included pictures for the illiterate ones too...lol.

I think that even dominant men like the feeling that they are pursuing something of value, and the best way to get someone is by being someone of value. To the OP, take up interesting hobbies, invest time in yourself, and others will want to invest time into you too. It isn't selfish, it is improving your value for when you find "your One"... good luck

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 24

RE: finding the "One" - 9/7/2006 8:20:17 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I've always said the surest way to fuck up your life with a relationship is to be sincerely happy and busy as a singleton.

But that's not universal and it tends to just piss off the ones frustrated in their seeking.

hehehe

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 25

RE: finding the "One" - 9/7/2006 9:04:25 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I've heard that Doms can be found easily enough on the shelves at DomsRUs. All one has to do is shop for a little while and they'll be there - batteries are sometimes included, but more often, are not.

Barring no DomsRUs near you, it can take a while. I looked at DomsRUs, but sadly, nothing fit what I needed. I had to go to a custom shop for mine. It took me three years to meet him, and another two, to be ready for him.

It's been three years since then, and I've found that he definitely has no shelf life expiration date. He's built to last a lifetime. And I don't even have a warranty.

juliet

(in reply to njoyingdajourney)

Post #: 26

RE: finding the "One" - 9/8/2006 5:38:44 AM

njoyingdajourney

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline

interesting reading all your responses.........don`t always agree but the advice is good. i`m just tired of playing ....so i have decided no more playing ...it gets weary after a while and confusing to boot....i want a relationship of substance..... annie

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 27

RE: finding the "One" - 9/8/2006 5:40:48 AM

njoyingdajourney

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline

and for the record.............i`m not pissed off ...just impatient.........hehehe

< Message edited by njoyingdajourney -- 9/8/2006 5:42:34 AM >

(in reply to njoyingdajourney)

Post #: 28

RE: finding the "One" - 9/8/2006 5:44:44 AM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: njoyingdajourney

and for the record.............i`m not pissed off ...just impatient.........hehehe

me too. sometimes i don't think "The One" exists out there.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to njoyingdajourney)

Post #: 29

RE: finding the "One" - 9/8/2006 6:00:25 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Maybe you need to review what your expectations are and if they are realistic. You dont have to settle but the "One" might be right in front of you. True there are lots of fakes and players about on these online sites but you have to weed through and find the real ones. After the break up with my former Master I waited a year before looking and then found my Master after a year of searching. I can say it was certainly worth the wait. I am very lucky to have found him but it took patience and perserverence.

(in reply to njoyingdajourney)

Post #: 30

RE: finding the "One" - 9/8/2006 6:14:43 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I laugh when people are looking for their *one*. It seems that many find their *one* over and over again. sigh.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 31

RE: finding the "One" - 9/8/2006 6:16:39 AM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

i'd settle for finding just One...LOL

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Are we having fun, yet?

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Post #: 32

RE: finding the "One" - 9/8/2006 6:25:59 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I agree, I never set out to find the "One" . I think its some type of mystical creature. People are just setting themselves up for disappointment.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 33

RE: finding the "One" - 9/8/2006 8:12:14 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I laugh when people are looking for their *one*. It seems that many find their *one* over and over again. sigh.

That is true in many cases. It is hard to know if they are your one until they collar you and time has gone by... otherwise it can put egg on one's face when it doesn't work out.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 34

RE: finding the "One" - 9/8/2006 8:23:11 AM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: njoyingdajourney

how long have any of you waited to find the "One "you felt was right for you?.........it`s been over a year and although i have met many.......i can`t seem to find my "One"......sub annie.

It took me 11 fun filled years of meeting people, working and getting my kids through college. Those were the years between the end of my 20 year marriage and meeting "His Highness" two years ago. We are still together and plan to be so.

_____________________________

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to njoyingdajourney)

Post #: 35

RE: finding the "One" - 9/9/2006 4:16:26 AM

mystiquenz

Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline

julia,

"
quote:

egg on one's face
"
Was that scrambled, poached or fried?
chuckles quietly .... (says she who is more than capable of boiling a boiled egg dry, and destroying the pot in the process) ...

But on a more serious note, i think that you have to sometimes take the gamble, but equally, keeping a bit of that inner flame back for yourself, in case it doesn't take flight. I don't see a failed attempt of a union as having "egg over one's face", but the fact that you have given it your all, the fact that you were open to love, you gave love and you received love, is not having egg on one's face, it is about growth, and experiencing, and living.

annie, sometimes the road gets hard, and we get tired, and sometimes we desire and crave that that special One isn't at our gate yet. LA's statement where sometimes you have to wait for time to catch up, rings very true.

Just enjoy the time, and don't be in such a hurry. How often do you take the time, to watch a butterfly take flight, and participate in the stillness of nature? How much passes you by, because your looking, and not absorbing the treasures?

When the One arrives, annie, i believe you will know, but until that time, take the pleasure with what is around you. sample, taste, and enjoy the breath ... before it passes you by.

_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 36

RE: finding the "One" - 9/9/2006 6:06:23 AM

runwiththestorm

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Perhaps you've already met him, but one or neither of you are ready.

This is, in my personal experience, very much the truth for many people. At this point in time, a long time friend of mine and I (4 years!) are starting to explore a relationship. Why did it take this long? We both had to get to the point in our lives and development where we were ready to see it. Luckily for me, we both spotted it at about the same time.

The other thing I know has been mentioned is that it always happens when you're not looking. That also seems to be true. Again, your mileage may vary, but I think this is mainly because when you are content and confident with who you are, then and only then are you ready to find your other(s). You can't look for someone else to complete you...you have to be complete, and find someone to compliment you.

On the subject of 'the One'...I've never been a believer in the theory of true love, one person is your perfect match thing. Relationships of any kind are all about compromise. They are work. They are hard. The rewards, however, are worth it. :)

Edit for typos

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 37

RE: finding the "One" - 9/10/2006 5:14:09 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

i've been "seeking" for 18 years and haven't found my "One" but i have never let that stop me from finding me, which has been a most wonderful experience. After all, when i die they're only gonna but one person in the casket, so i have to like me for all eternity. i think sometimes we put so much emphasis on instant relationships and we set ourselves up for disappointment. i have to think of the first Mars mission where the probe missed the planet entirely. (How do you miss a planet? It's a whole lot bigger than the side of a barn!) They missed it because they were focused on the destination and failed to notice some errors in earlier trajectory caluclations. In essence, they missed the destination because they didn't pay enough attention to the journey.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to runwiththestorm)

Post #: 38

RE: finding the "One" - 9/10/2006 5:21:55 AM

toy2006

Posts: 11
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline

Seeing that someone else has spent an unbelievable amount of time and effort to find The One does two things to me. It gives me peace, because i am not alone, and fills me with misery, because i've been looking for EIGHT years and haven't found Him yet. You mean i gotta do this another TEN years??? LOL....

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 39

RE: finding the "One" - 9/10/2006 5:38:57 AM

zero69u2

Posts: 107
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

Murphy's Law.. the guy/gal your most attracted to will be furthest away from you.

finding the one.. ohh this is one of them matrix questions.. first step is finding the bald black guy and taking the red pill.

Don't wait for the One.. instead take a proactive approach and search for many possibilitys.

another law of collar me : the one you don't email is the one that probably wanted to go out with you.

(in reply to babysburnin)

Post #: 40

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