finding the "One"

finding the "One" (Full Version)

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njoyingdajourney -> finding the "One" (9/7/2006 11:07:33 AM)
how long have any of you waited to find the "One "you felt was right for you?.........it`s been over a year and although i have met many.......i can`t seem to find my "One"......sub annie.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 11:11:41 AM)
Maybe the problem is that you're not really "njoyingdajourney"? Time is irrelevant. You can try changing your methods, you can see where you might be making mistakes...but sometimes time needs to catch up with itself.

njoyingdajourney -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 11:14:57 AM)
you know..iv`e been on this site for a while and i have noticed that you are a very negative person.......try a little positivity once in a while...............

mstrjx -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 11:20:00 AM)
You can (and will) take this for what it's worth. What anyone says might not have anything to do with positivity (back stroking) or negativity (face slapping). You should, however, probably learn to recognize reality. Your profile says you're looking, simply, for someone with a heart, yet you appear not to have found anybody like that. I would anyone had a heart, if at least they had a pulse. Think about updating the ol' profile there? Jeff

njoyingdajourney -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 11:25:00 AM)
that is why iv`e left my profile real simple.........iv`e written more ... this time i chose not to.

DameDeviante -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 11:30:14 AM)
Wow....if you don't like answers to your inquiry, try to use a little of that optimism your ID seems to appear to have. When someone posts a reply to your post, try to be a little more appreciative rather than offensive. The One you seek may be the One you push away with negative comments from people just trying to help. Might want to give that a try. Be in peace, Dame D.

diamonddreamlove -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 11:44:23 AM)
It also depends on if the first meeting is what you are judging the whole relationship on. Some D and s need a little time adjustment to be able to share who they are with O/others. Patience is important since no one wants to find someone then determine a few months later they were all wrong and have to start the process again. Hmmm maybe i should say all but the machocist lol. I am not collared and that does not matter. I have been offered collars recently and continue to see the Doms but will not accept a collar from anyone until i am certain in my own mind that it is the correct move to make. And yep i do have one special Dom i see perhaps a bit more than the Others, that i have discussed a collar with also but when all is said and done time is what is needed to determine if W/we are truly well suited to each other. And quite frankly at 49 i consider it amazing that even one Dom would look twice at me since i am not phsycially beautiful and since All have been in the life for quite some time and are in my opinion wonderful Doms i as a sub must be doing something right or wrong lol. But the bottom line is i take my time deciding on a collar because i want to make the right choice for me. Patience is what it takes, like in job seeking there are a lot of no's out there and a very select few yes's. Take your time and enjoy each encounter to its fullest doing what you enjoy most which as a sub/slave hopefully is serving the One you are with.

happypervert -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 11:52:26 AM)
quote: you know..iv`e been on this site for a while and i have noticed that you are a very negative person.......try a little positivity once in a while............... You seem to be the only one who sees LA as "a very negative person". Makes me think it is your own negative view of the world that makes it difficult to find your "one" because the only guys who might tolerate a snotty and innacurate reply like that are probably desperate so they aren't the ones you want. Further complicating matters, I think, is a search for "the one". People who use that term usually have some fluffy fantasy of a perfect mate they hope to find and then they close themselves off to anyone short of that . . . and if you're already perceiving negativity where it isn't, that means you'll eliminate everyone. Yeah, I know I'm being negative, but only because I don't see much reason in the little you've written here so far to be my normal cheery and positive self.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 11:56:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: happypervert You seem to be the only one who sees LA as "a very negative person". Well now she's certainly not the ONLY one...

Owned1 -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 11:59:04 AM)
Shoot dont bite the hand you ask for. LA says it like it is which you may not want to hear but you asked the question. If you think a year and a half is not a long time then how fast I wonder did you think you would find the one? Again I say there is no intastant add water and make appear Dom/me sub/slave pill. If you are only looking online you should probably plan to retire alone with lots of cats, cause there are some who have found what they are seeking online but they are the rarity rather than the regular. Take a walk into the real life world of flesh bones and people, find local groups go to functions you may even have to travel a bit to other locations. Having just read your profile, you are in Ontario there are many groups, munches, fet nights, clubs etc in Ontario. And lets not forget the old adage when you are not looking is when one will appear. Owned

MasterFireMaam -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 12:09:28 PM)
I don't expect to have "the One". I have a poly household, so I have "the Few". Finding them takes as much time as it takes; each of you has to be ready for the other. Perhaps you've already met him, but one or neither of you are ready. It took me about 4 years to find anne and then 1 year be ready for her. moe and I might be ready for each other soon, after 5 years of my searching (time served congruently...I'm looking for several). It's unclear how long it will take for jason and I to be ready for each other, if ever in this lifetime. As for suggestions to help your journey: It's really hard for a potential Dominant to see who you are and what you offer when you don't openly put these things in your profile. I suggest having these sections: 1) What your values are 2) What kind of relationship you're looking for 3) What you have to offer said relationship and 4) What kind of Dominant you are looking for. Of course, writing all this out in no way guarantees the time from now until the time you find "the One" will be shortened...but a well written profile can certainly be an excellent filtering tool and the chances of you finding "the One" will go up. LA isn't so much as negative as a realist. Sometimes how she says things can be abrupt (as we all can be), but she almost always gives good advice and/or points at things that might need to be looked at, which is often hard for people to take. I think in this case, she was probably just trying to be humorous, in a teasing sort of way. It IS rather ironic that you both enjoy the journey and lament the time it takes to get from one place to another in that journey. Use the time alone to look at yourself and learn; enjoy the scenery. Master Fire

njoyingdajourney -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 1:31:45 PM)
i will take this time to apologize........all your responses were very helpful......and yes i don`t like abruptness but i guess that`s my problem ........obviously i stooped to the level that i normally wouldn`t today....sub annie.

BitaTruble -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 1:44:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: njoyingdajourney how long have any of you waited to find the "One "you felt was right for you?.........it`s been over a year and although i have met many.......i can`t seem to find my "One"......sub annie. ::chuckles:: I didn't wait. I played, went to events, played some more, experienced, embraced.. the whole gamut. I did that for almost 15 years before I met Himself 10 years ago. I do consider Master my 'One'.. but #'s 2 through 200 sure made for a hell of a lot of fun times first. ;) Celeste

njoyingdajourney -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 1:53:31 PM)
lol Celeste.......i always liked you......lol....yes it has made the journey fun definetely....and i`m sure i`ll still have lots of fun along the way.......but long term with that special "One" no matter how fluffy that sounds........is still my heart`s desire:)

Bearlee -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 1:55:55 PM)
<giggles> No WONDER I like Celeste so much!!! What a girl !!!

njoyingdajourney -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 1:58:47 PM)
yes she is truly a gem........

jonathan -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 4:43:46 PM)
Well, let's see, it took me about 15 years and many, many false starts before i found my Goddess. The time factor ought not to be such an issue, being and growing and patience ought to. you're in the right place on these boards and in Collarme for that. i have to back others about the Albatross, LA is one of the 'reality saints' here that keep all grounded. i've not seen a frivolous post from her since joining the conversations a few months ago. Amusing, of course, but not frivolous. i have to say that the only real enjoyment in this journey is the end of the beginning. The end of seeking and the beginning of living it. Take heed to those who commented on your profile. i've done and redone so many. Sit down and write one from the heart, offline, and then go back to it once or twice a week as you're moved to and edit it. For a few weeks or months, until you find you don't want to change a word or punctuation mark. Then post it. Patience and a sense of humor are required here. Good luck. Fortune passes everywhere. [Old Chinese proverb]

babysburnin -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 7:57:14 PM)
I was on AFF for 6 months - I had many first dates (it was 30+) - it was soooo time-consuming. I knew what I was looking for and wasn't finding Him. I met so many great men along the way, but I never felt that ultimate "click" I was wishing for. I literately had a week or two left on my membership, and I planned to discontinue my membership. (Honestly, it was awful there - I was fresh meat, I posted my pic - I had 30,000 hits in 6 mos - it was like a full-time job reading through emails and hoping to find Mr Right.) By a twist of fate - I came across my Dom's profile there ... I never initiated before- I had no time to. BUT, I sent Him an email ... and the rest is precious ...

juliaoceania -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 8:06:29 PM)
The first one was not the "one". I found him accidently when I wasn't looking. I licked my wounds and looked again a few months after our last breakup. Please do not throw rocks at me, but my Daddy was the first dominant that emailed me when I joined another BDSM personals site. I chatted with him and many others for a couple of months, but I ended up with the first dom that emailed me on March 11th 2006....we are still seeing each other, and it is working pretty well so far.. I do not know if he is "The One" yet as in collaring me. But it seems like a very good possibility, time will tell. I did not expect this though, perhaps that is why it happened?

babysburnin -> RE: finding the "One" (9/7/2006 8:10:50 PM)
Where have you been BitaTruble???

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