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Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/7/2006 1:21:42 PM

Toxicdreamgirl

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/5/2006
From: Rapid City, South Dakota
Status: offline

Hello all. My girlfriend and I have been into this lifestyle for 3 years now, and I'd say we do a pretty good job. we're both switches. However we arent very good at domming eachother. We've tried and it just doesn't work. If there is a Master out there who would be willing to train us we'd be very happy. We live in The Rapid City, South Dakota area. If you want to ask questions just message me. thank you.

TDG

Post #: 1

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/7/2006 2:14:50 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

I believe there is a fitness trainer who doubles as a bondage trainer. A little south of you. Would that help?

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Toxicdreamgirl)

Post #: 2

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/7/2006 2:23:01 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

If you are really 19 and pierced, I am sure there are about 1,500 men in SD who would love to work with you. Just pop into any BDSM group with application forms and I would suggest charging a fee too as you could make decent money at the same time.

Seriously, if you were 40 you might have trouble finding someone but if you are 19, the only question will be finding a decent one.

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 3

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/7/2006 3:19:30 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toxicdreamgirl

Hello all. My girlfriend and I have been into this lifestyle for 3 years now, and I'd say we do a pretty good job. we're both switches. However we arent very good at domming eachother. We've tried and it just doesn't work.
TDG

Are you in need of ideas/techniques or did it just "not feel right"

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Toxicdreamgirl)

Post #: 4

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/11/2006 3:22:39 PM

Toxicdreamgirl

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/5/2006
From: Rapid City, South Dakota
Status: offline

I need ideas/techiniques, and yeah, it just doesn't feel right.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 5

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/12/2006 1:01:34 AM

Totalmaster4you

Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

I presume both of you will be reading this so I'll try to direct this to both of you. I would suspect that it doesn't feel right because you are playing at it. It's my opinion that your one or the other at your core, your true self. You might have more success if you set it up as role play and each of you get into character. It may surprise you that you will expend a lot of energy in maintaining your character. Whoever plays the Dominant role should have it scripted but be ready to go off script for the subs reactions and then back on. If you'd like I'll be happy to try and coach you online or on the phone somewhere down the line. One last thing tho, change your expectations because it will never feel exactly right because you can't duplicate the aura exuded by a true Dominant and if you've ever been with one you know what I mean. So if you expect less you'll enjoy what you do get and appreciate each others efforts. If one of you has more Dom tendencies then let her be the Top.
Take care and have fun
Master Alan

(in reply to Toxicdreamgirl)

Post #: 6

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/12/2006 2:42:33 AM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toxicdreamgirl

Hello all. My girlfriend and I have been into this lifestyle for 3 years now, and I'd say we do a pretty good job. we're both switches. However we arent very good at domming eachother. We've tried and it just doesn't work. If there is a Master out there who would be willing to train us we'd be very happy. We live in The Rapid City, South Dakota area. If you want to ask questions just message me. thank you.

TDG

Then what are you switching at?

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to Toxicdreamgirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/14/2006 3:49:03 AM

Sirandlittle1

Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

"It's my opinion that your one or the other at your core, your true self. "
This sorta info grips my shit!!! Switches are switches, at their very core. They are both. Try posting to the 'ask a switch' forum. Much more insightful info to be had there and less dogma. From how to decide who's top/bottom, how you switch mid scene if you wish, lots of info there. This sorta crap is usually spouted by 'pure' Dominants who seem to be less 'rigid' when it comes accepting dual sexuality like say, bi-sexuality in their female submissive???

It could be that you are not bdsm compatable in some areas your trying to play in. Try to discuss activities where you are compatable, eg, enjoys being flogged with enjoys flogging. Learn to top and sub in these area's of compatability first, before you explore service topping or bottoming to feed the need of the other, without getting your fix yourself.
Is monogamy a limit for you both? If not, perhaps you could consider which activities you could enlist help with from a service top or bottom.
Being a switch is not the easiest of paths at times. There are ways to address all of your needs, you just have to find a way that suits you both and is agreeable. Communicate with each other why you didnt submit on a session, despite agreeing to do so? What was it that prevented you from holding up your end of the bargain. Same as a M/s D/s or whatever relationship, you both have to tango to the same tune for it to work.
Good luck, with whatever you decide to do. Its not easy, but sure is a shit load of fun when it goes right.

Totallymaster4u, i realise that you maybe a 'total' top/master/dom etc. But please be willing to accept, that not everyone is either one or the other. Some of us are all/both/neither. The title of Dom, or sub, is thrust upon us switches, by others. when for me and many others like me, why the heck would you deny yourself fun, from any bloody consenting angle you can get, and to hell with what others wish to label you? Language, both verbal and non, is the only way we have to communicate what we are to others, that does not make it accurate.

littleone

(in reply to Wolfie648)

Post #: 8

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/15/2006 3:20:14 PM

Toxicdreamgirl

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/5/2006
From: Rapid City, South Dakota
Status: offline

Wow lots of responses. We'll sit down tonight and talk about it. I think my main problem is that I like to dominate women, and be dominated by men. this is the case most of the time. I'd be glad to accept the offer of online training.

TDG

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)

Post #: 9

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/15/2006 3:38:09 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

This sorta info grips my shit!!!

now this shit is funny as fuck . I spewed my coffee when I saw that line.

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to Toxicdreamgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/16/2006 12:10:21 AM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Seriously, if you were 40 you might have trouble finding someone but if you are 19, the only question will be finding a decent one.

*blinks* Seriously?

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 11

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/16/2006 12:24:16 AM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Seriously, if you were 40 you might have trouble finding someone but if you are 19, the only question will be finding a decent one.

*blinks* Seriously?

I think he got the numbers reversed.

FHky

_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to losttreasure)

Post #: 12

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/16/2006 9:22:49 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:
ORIGINAL: CrappyDom
Seriously, if you were 40 you might have trouble finding someone but if you are 19, the only question will be finding a decent one.
--------------------------------------------------------------

Tell me you didn't just say that? .... *lol* ... I'm hoping you got the keys screwed up and mean to put 40 where 19 is and visa versa. Right? *giggles*

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to FirmhandKY)

Post #: 13

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/16/2006 9:28:32 PM

primeslave

Posts: 45
Joined: 11/18/2005
Status: offline

if you like them young then you should just say so in your profile. just because a woman is over 40 does not mean she is ugly.

i have seen some absolutely beautiful older women that i would love to look like when i get to be their age. Cher being one of them. and i have 12 years yet to be her age......

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

If you are really 19 and pierced, I am sure there are about 1,500 men in SD who would love to work with you. Just pop into any BDSM group with application forms and I would suggest charging a fee too as you could make decent money at the same time.

Seriously, if you were 40 you might have trouble finding someone but if you are 19, the only question will be finding a decent one.

_____________________________

What is a slut: 1. pleasure enthusiast; 2. a wanton individual; 3. a saucy girl

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 14

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/17/2006 1:47:51 PM

Toxicdreamgirl

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/5/2006
From: Rapid City, South Dakota
Status: offline

yeah, i think the only real reason anyone goes for a 19year old is because it's fresh meat....especially in my case, i am still a virgin. and actually older women have more experience, people should go for them. i think if you want someone that young you just want them to be a concubine, or to mold them to your liking.

TDG

(in reply to primeslave)

Post #: 15

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/17/2006 11:01:14 PM

owneddesire

Posts: 245
Joined: 8/27/2006
Status: offline

I definatly need ideas. They only other person that I've had anal with was my last boyfriend. The person that I'm with now is lets say, very well hung, and my ex was, ehh, could make some people laugh. Anal hurts with the guy I'm with now, how do I go about having anal and having it feel awesome?

(in reply to Toxicdreamgirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/19/2006 8:53:26 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you

I presume both of you will be reading this so I'll try to direct this to both of you. I would suspect that it doesn't feel right because you are playing at it. It's my opinion that your one or the other at your core, your true self. You might have more success if you set it up as role play and each of you get into character. It may surprise you that you will expend a lot of energy in maintaining your character. Whoever plays the Dominant role should have it scripted but be ready to go off script for the subs reactions and then back on. If you'd like I'll be happy to try and coach you online or on the phone somewhere down the line. One last thing tho, change your expectations because it will never feel exactly right because you can't duplicate the aura exuded by a true Dominant and if you've ever been with one you know what I mean. So if you expect less you'll enjoy what you do get and appreciate each others efforts. If one of you has more Dom tendencies then let her be the Top.
Take care and have fun
Master Alan

Ok Master is going to toast my tush for this but I cant just pass this by and not say anything. Im sorry Sir but you are so full of shit!!!! spouting garbage about true Doms and such!!! They are what they are all the way to the core!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)

Post #: 17

RE: Need Dominance Training!!! - 9/19/2006 9:31:41 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

The trolling on these boards is absolutely out of control.

Then again it probably always has been.

Where's a Mod when you need one?

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 18

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