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RE: Master, boyfriend, husband - 9/9/2006 3:36:30 PM

behindmirrors

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

My Dom is also my boyfriend. It works fine for us, and since we're not constantly "out" in the nature of our relationship, it is much easier to refer to him as my boyfriend when talking to co-workers, etc., than it would be to explain he is my Dom, haha. We both agree that this is the best way to do things for us, though we understand that for others it works differently. Then again, we're also a couple where even in our D/s dynamic, I don't address him using a title. It would just feel strange. If I feel the need to use a title, or if I'm writing or something, I will either use his name or call him Dearest, something "term of endearment"-like. I am his submissive and not his slave, and that works for us. Would I say it couldn't work in a M/s situation? No. It's all individual, and things can work however the people involved need or want them to, I suppose.
behindmirrors.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)

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Post #: 41

RE: Master, boyfriend, husband - 9/9/2006 4:36:06 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

My Master is my Master. We don't live together I can't see that we ever will. He is not my boyfriend. I do not have a reciprocal arrangement with him in that he makes the decisions and I go along with them. I don't presume to make decisions about anything regarding us beyond the fact that each and every day, I choose that regardless of it being a good day or not, I am his slave. I can make the decision not to be this. At that point, our relationship would be over. We believe very strongly in the idea that people should say what they mean, and if they don't mean it - don't say it. So, unless and until there comes a time in my life where I choose to not serve - I'll never say it because I'm angry, going through pms, menopause, having a tough day with my other family members or I haven't seen him in a while. Personally, since I also vowed to be his until he tells me to leave, I don't see me deciding to walk.

For his part, he can love me but he will never ever allow that to change how we interact when it comes to who is the person in charge. I am not allowed, nor do I want to manipulate him into doing the things I want. I honestly believe that if it ever happened that I could, I'd lose a ton of respect for him. Every now and then I try. (Masturbation would be nice I think. It's been three years since I was allowed to do that. Every now and then I ask. He just laughs and says no. When I get kind of desperate, aside from the fact that it thrills him even more, he enjoys pointing out that if he did do that, I'd end up hating the fact that he gave in. It drives me nuts to know he's absolutely right.)

He has said - and means - that he is not my boyfriend. I believe him. However, that does not at all mean he doesn't love and care for me. I know he does. He's said so. He doesn't say what he doesn't mean. We simply choose to construct our relationship in ways that always have M/s as our guideposts and structure.

I love him. I don't care what other people refer to us as - whether that be friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, dominant/submissive or Master/slave. They could call us Spit and spat or husband and wife for all that it really matters - except that we are not, nor will be husband and wife. Even if that were to happen, frankly, I'd still be his slave before anything else. And at this point in my life, I fully expect to stand by him - regardless of what comes our way - until he tells me to leave.

juliet

(in reply to DivaDuchess)

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Post #: 42