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probably a silly question - 9/8/2006 7:10:39 PM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		when a Dominant meets a submissive, they seem to be well suited, obviously like one another....what is protocol for how they proceed? does she have any rights to ask questions...or does she wait for the Dominant to make the next move??
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/8/2006 7:16:23 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I would say thats a yes to both.  In my opinion, at least. 
As a sub, you should be able to ask questions of someone you are potentially going to serve. However, he should be the one to make the next move and see where it will be leading. You just follow is lead.

DV

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VampiresLair

(in reply to eroticangel)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/8/2006 7:18:24 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Hello A/all,

I cannot speak for anybody but myself, but...

I hate playing 20 questions.

I can say yes.  I can say no.  My personal tendency is to take my time and be patient.  If she wants to move faster than that, all she has to do is say so.

It is up to me what I do with the information.

Again, this is just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

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(in reply to eroticangel)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/8/2006 7:21:38 PM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you DV and Sinergy......i do appreciate your imput.

oh and Sinergy Sir...welcome back to your avatar!

< Message edited by eroticangel -- 9/8/2006 7:23:13 PM >

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RE: probably a silly question - 9/8/2006 7:37:56 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Protocol is defined as the established way of doing things since you have not established "The Way" you will be doing things there is no protocol. Basicly it's a matter of simply seeking what works, fastest way I know is to ask the other person involved directly Hop are we going to proceed?

(in reply to eroticangel)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/8/2006 8:03:00 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel

when a Dominant meets a submissive, they seem to be well suited, obviously like one another....what is protocol for how they proceed? does she have any rights to ask questions...or does she wait for the Dominant to make the next move??

Personally, I don't believe there are ANY set rules or protocals in the 'getting to know' you stages. Just go with what feels right to you.


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RE: probably a silly question - 9/9/2006 12:53:24 AM   
MasterInIndy4U


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/19/2006
Status: offline 		My two cents if a Master who is not your Master yet will not allow you to ask question walk away.

(in reply to eroticangel)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/9/2006 2:31:54 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel

when a Dominant meets a submissive, they seem to be well suited, obviously like one another....what is protocol for how they proceed? does she have any rights to ask questions...or does she wait for the Dominant to make the next move??


The protocal is what the dominant lays out - if not specified then game on ask away - right up until the dominant says hey stop that we are going to do this _x_ way.

*edit* now before we all get our pundies (panties/undies) in a knot for a dominant to a) not specific what the format is and then b) says hey stop that without c) offering an alternate solution is (I would say) not acceptable within the framework of a new relationship.

Ultimately the dominant should be specifying this kind of thing - especially in a new realtionship; however it is difficult to predict the thought patterns of the submissive and magnified miscomunications can (and do) happen.

Negotiate, communicate; until (if ever) you give up the right to do so.

D (owner of j).

< Message edited by Wolfie648 -- 9/9/2006 2:38:19 AM >

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RE: probably a silly question - 9/9/2006 3:13:45 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		If your end goal is a relationship, the only protocols that matter are those you agree to yourselves.  It's not like you're joining some club, right?
 
So if you like each other and are well suited, I'd imagine protocols aren't even an issue.  However, if he's discouraging you from presenting your own thoughts and feelings as part of getting to know each other, I'd suggest you already know enough and to get tha hell outa Dodge!
 
If it's just you two and neither seems sure how to proceed, I'd suggest you just default to being two mature adults and just talk....
 
Focus.

(in reply to eroticangel)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/9/2006 11:15:09 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		In my world, things work better if the sub/slave shows interest by asking questions. If I'm constantly reaching out, I begin to feel a lack of interest on the part of the sub/slave and the connection is soon lost. For example, I expect daily contact, in some form, from the members of my household. And, I expect THEM to contact ME. I fully see and acknowledge that this is part of my insecurity and desire to feel important to them. However, I feel that this is a reasonable indulgence of my ego.

Master Fire

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(in reply to eroticangel)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/9/2006 12:04:52 PM   
BD123


Posts: 201
Joined: 8/12/2006
Status: offline 		Personally if you are meeting for the first time the most important thing is trust and honesty development. Both parties should quickly affirm that they are  both free to speak their minds, express concerns; this can only be down through open communication. Formal protocol (rules) come afterwards, when both parties are in full agreement of how to play the scene. Then protocal can change over time to suite their needs.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/9/2006 12:24:06 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Assuming this is the first time you're meeting, there shouldn't be any protocols yet as you haven't accepted him as your dom. Like any other first date, you explore what you have in common and what you don't, including activities, morals, and attitudes. See if you share a sense of humor, I find that one's a biggie.

(in reply to BD123)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/9/2006 12:51:29 PM   
callmemilord


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/18/2006
Status: offline 		I agree completely and wholeheartedly with lots of open ended questions, from both parties! Other than the obvious things, I find I can learn as much or more about a sub/slave/friend by the questions she asks, than the answers she gives! So many have these preconceived notions about what they should say, and how they should act, get past that, and an open dialogue hopefully occurs. 

(in reply to eroticangel)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/9/2006 1:15:11 PM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		Just to be clear, we had the first meeting....and we have talked at length today....i guess what i really wanted to know if you wonderful Masters out there talked everyday...or gave it time between...and just how you liked to do things...thanks sooooooo much for all the help!!

ROE

(in reply to callmemilord)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/9/2006 1:39:30 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		For me, to be able to build the type of bond that would be most useful to any partner of mine and myself, I would want daily contact if possible.  It allows for both of us to keep each other 'in tune'.  It doesn't necessarily have to be much, but what there is allows for the 'ties' to get 'bound' ever so more slightly.

At some point, of course, there really isn't any turning back.  When that point would be might be different depending on circumstance.

I'll add here that it doesn't matter to me which party initiates the contact.  I can pursue, and I can be pursued (if I like).

Jeff

< Message edited by mstrjx -- 9/9/2006 1:41:03 PM >

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RE: probably a silly question - 9/10/2006 4:41:08 AM   
zero69u2


Posts: 107
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		a hug and a kiss..  is how i like to start off.
Start off with i'm so happy to see you.. whisper.. lets get naked.. in his ear or play a few flirts.

you call the ball on the field on first dates and play them out.

protocol on first dates : communication open and i'm so happy you showed up.. Avoid talking about ex's and other men.
Don't start conversation with i really love gangbangs got any friends ?








(in reply to mstrjx)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/11/2006 4:55:24 PM   
Sallow


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		On first meeting with a sub, I would ask something like, "Do you prefer it if I take charge immediately, or should we work together to move forward to a point where you will submit control to me?"  To me, this issue is all part of the "getting acquainted" process where you begin to develop the trust and comfort level you'll need for even just a casual play session.

(in reply to zero69u2)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/11/2006 7:14:15 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel

when a Dominant meets a submissive, they seem to be well suited, obviously like one another....what is protocol for how they proceed? does she have any rights to ask questions...or does she wait for the Dominant to make the next move??


Of course she has rights.IMO any submissive/slave/bottom has rights...the right to be treated as a human 1st and whatever else you may be second.
you have the right to say I really dont like that can W/we try something else...and again IMO any Dom/me that doesnt do that spells DANGER.

Communication is the best thing no matter who starts its it.
Maybe May I speak Sir would be an appopriate way to start talking.

Good Luck to you

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In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to eroticangel)
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RE: probably a silly question - 9/12/2006 9:11:56 AM   
subinsouth


Posts: 55
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline 		i should think on your first meeting, it is just that - a meeting to say hello and see if there is any chemistry.   i ask about a million questions, as i need to know as much as possible about a Dominant i am considering getting into a relationship with.  my ass is on the line so to speak! 

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may it be for me as You will

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RE: probably a silly question - 9/13/2006 11:49:58 AM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel

Just to be clear, we had the first meeting....and we have talked at length today....i guess what i really wanted to know if you wonderful Masters out there talked everyday...or gave it time between...and just how you liked to do things...thanks sooooooo much for all the help!!

ROE


I personally tend to have some kind of communication with a new girl every day just so things remain fresh with her ... communication and growth are always important so why leave blank days for her to wonder about your sincerity.
 
but thats just me and my dam opinion

< Message edited by Tamerofwild1s -- 9/13/2006 11:50:53 AM >

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A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to eroticangel)
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