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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/8/2006 11:42:31 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline 		I'm with the opinion that you don't owe anyone any explanation.  I think you placing the bracelet where all could see is showing support.  And I would verbally tell the woman I'm there for her. 

Personally, I don't hold much store in a piece of plastic, especially if you didn't buy it yourself.  I cures nothing...the "money" you give is what shows real support that goes for research and hopefully one day a cure.  I wear a pin sometimes, and use a pink pen....but how I really show my support is donating.

Just my opinion, but don't mind me,  I've never been much of an office "joiner" any way.  LOL

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/8/2006 11:47:42 PM   
proudsub


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quote:

"I don't wear pink."


You're not alone. We were at a major rodeo on Sunday and the theme for the day was "not too tough for pink". Most of the cowboys wore pink shirts becaue if you won a go around and were in a pink shirt you won and extra $100 and they donated $100 to breaset cancer research. However there were a few who refused to wear pink and some of them did win.  They were also selling pink beads like mardi gras beads and the pink bracelets, a lot of men were wearing those, but Hubby refused so i wore his. 

< Message edited by proudsub -- 9/8/2006 11:49:40 PM >

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 3:26:08 AM   
bignipples2share


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quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

Build a small shrine for your desk, put the pink bracelet on it, and entitle it with "I support the battle against breast cancer."

Problem solved.

You'll look like a hero for going the extra mile, and you won't have to wear pink...  

I agree, just print out a copy of the breast cancer ribbon. Type in big letters, "In support of breast cancer", tack it to the wall and hang the bracelet from the tack.
This way, you have put a bit more effort into. About the same effort that those who are wearing the bracelet and it doesn't look as if you've just thrown it on the shelf.

~Big

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 7:49:00 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Wow I have to admit I'm so surprised people are just saying "Put it on, what's the problem?"

The problem is that the workplace (or anyplace really) is not a place to put pressure on anyone to support a particular cause, certainly not if it includes some participation on their part.

It's the principle of the issue, not "Oh it's just a bracelet" and "It's just for a good cause."

It's MY choice what to wear and when to wear it and HOW to support whatever cause I want to support.  It's completely inappropriate, not to mention extremely rude, to make someone feel uncomfortable for not following along like a lemming.

PS this tends to be an issue for me because when I was 5 years old I was taken to an anti-abortion rally and someone put a wristband on me about it.  I had no idea what was going on and when I realized what it was years later, I was still extremely angry. 

We're supposedly a culture that values informed, noncoerced consent above all else.  And yet in this particular issue, many seem to think it doesn't matter about consent- it matters to go along with the group.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 9/9/2006 7:51:30 AM >

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 8:26:37 AM   
ownedgirlie


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Status: offline 		LA I wholeheartedly agree with you here.  There are ways of showing support without coersion, and without being a lemming.  To all those saying, "What's the big deal?" I'm surprised no one responded to my "wear these fat-ass pants" reversal question.  Is showing support of a cause only okay if YOU feel comfortable doing it?  And if YOU feel comfortable, then EVERYONE should?  Is there only one way of showing support of a cause?  Should everyone support the causes YOU do, and if they don't, then something is wrong with them? 

What if it was a necklace, rather than a bracelet, and wearing it required removing your collar for a day?  A week?  Several weeks?  Would you be okay with that?

Also, are you aware of the work place harassment laws in your state?  Such coersion may backfire on you in a heartbeat.

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 9:29:54 AM   
Lordandmaster


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Status: offline 		Well, I agree with both of you, but, as I'm sure you're aware, there are plenty of people who think that if their cause is good, they have the right to pressure anyone who refuses to participate in it.

Basically, I've always thought the world is divided into two kinds of people: people who think everyone else should believe whatever they themselves believe--and people who don't.

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 9:31:19 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with LA and ownedgirlie. Anyone who does not agree with them must henceforth walk around naked continually to show support for me.
 
A number of years ago I bought a pink shirt. To my surprise my mother was vehemently opposed to this shirt. She told us that she thought that pink shirts were for gay men and that this was the reason that she had never bought pink clothing for any of her sons. This revelation was a big surprise to me: I had never realized that I had never worn pink clothing. The connection pink-gay was extraneous to me. A little bit more recognizable was the connection pink-female perhaps, but as I perceive myself as completely male and completely heterosexual, I never considered such pink labels to apply to me.
 
I do have a problem with wearing bracelets and other "jewellery", though. When juvenile I have carried a metal bracelet for one or two years, but it was not me and I am glad to have discarded it. Several years ago I stopped wearing a wristwatch around my wrist. That was a relief. I intend to never wear a wristwatch around my wrist again.
 
As for supportive bracelets, I have always considered that idea as craziness. I have never worn one and will never wear one. Kill me first.
 
It seems to me that Fangs - unnecessarily - acted sufficiently supportive by compromising and displaying the bracelet on his shelf.
 

< Message edited by Rule -- 9/9/2006 9:32:53 AM >

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 9:32:20 AM   
cuddleheart50


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From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I would have probably worn it even if I wanted to or not.

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 9:50:17 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Instead of wearing mine, I placed it on one of my shelfs in my cubical. When asked why I wasn't wearing the bracelet, I replied "I don't wear pink."

I'm the only guy in the department of 20 women. They all seemed shocked in my belief of not wearing a pink bracelet to fight breast cancer. Instead of causing this type of controversy, should I have been more witty and come up with "I'm allergic to latex" or "It's to tight and upsets my carpel tunnel"


She was in error to assume EVERYONE wants to wear the bracelets. In things of this nature, I  always put it to a vote or at least ask the person I want to lay it on privately if they would be able (not 'like') to participate.  If they say 'no', then drop it and move on to the next. 

I would have thanked her kindly and said that while sympathetic to your co-worker's plight, you prefer to donate to the Cancer Charities directly. Then say you appreciate it and have a lady friend that will be more appropriate for. 

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 11:21:01 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Go make a REAL contribution, even $5, to the National Breast Cancer Foundation.
http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/contribution/bb-index.html

Then, pass out the website info to your coworkers as if it would really make a difference. Bracelets are cute, but they are not a cure. Don't apologies for buying into something you don't find to be sincere.

Warning: the site is VERY pink! LOL

Master Fire


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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 4:36:06 PM   
SirKenin


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From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		I think you should not have been a weasel and just worn it to show support for your coworker.  That to Me is more important than an ego which nobody likes.

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 4:38:18 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin
I think you should not have been a weasel and just worn it to show support for your coworker.  That to Me is more important than an ego which nobody likes.

Yeah cuz that's what Rose Parks was doing when she refused to sit in the back of the bus, just being an egotistical weasel making trouble and thinking herself more important than just going along.

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 5:03:51 PM   
spankmepink11


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Status: offline 		Fangs&feet,

I don't think you did anything worng in not wearing the bracelet, and certainly  being honest isn't bad either.  The only thing i might have done differntly was when it was given...i would have let them know right thern, that while i wouldn't be wearing it, i would put it in a place of prominance to show my support

I support lots of great causes, but have never felt the need to advertise.

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 5:42:38 PM   
topcat


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From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline
quote:

Type in big letters, "In support of breast cancer", tack it to the wall and hang the bracelet from the tack.


Dear Big-
 
You did mean 'in support of breast cancer research', right?
 
Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 5:43:48 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin
I think you should not have been a weasel and just worn it to show support for your coworker.  That to Me is more important than an ego which nobody likes.

Yeah cuz that's what Rose Parks was doing when she refused to sit in the back of the bus, just being an egotistical weasel making trouble and thinking herself more important than just going along.

That's what the weisel at Teinanmen square was also doing when he stood before the tank.

Oh I know, I know, it's just a silly pink bracelet.  But what some are effectively saying here is it's okay to force your views on another, and they must concede to them, simply because you think so.  It's really a case of picking your battles, but if something doesn't feel right to you - - then what?  What if this whole issue was for a less popular cause?  Or a controversial cause that you were a minority in not supporting?

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 5:56:13 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
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From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		Oh fuck.  Talk about overanalyzing everything.  My goodness.    Ever heard of choosing your battles?  Likening this to Tiannamen Square and other worthy causes?  ROFL.  Give Me a break.  There is no comparison here.  This is not about establishing rights.  Nobody gives a shit about your "cause against pink" or "I am taking a stand against pink".  Wear it or do not wear it.  Whatever.  He was given the option of showing his support for a suffering coworker.  What did he do?  "I do not like pink".  You poor baby.  I am sure your coworker does not like breast cancer either.  I do not like pink either, but that is not like standing up the Square and taking your stand.  It is being selfish.  Thinking only of yourself and your needs.

There is a time to make your stand, and a time to join ranks with your peers.  You, My friend, had your chance and you blew it.

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 5:59:24 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I agree with you SirKenin

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 6:07:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I think I said that:  "It's really a case of picking your battles."  

I also said "I know, it's just a silly pink bracelet."

I was trying to make a point. 

As for being selfish and taking a stand against breast cancer - - My mother survived breast cancer.  My father died just 3 weeks ago of prostate and bone cancer.  I cared for both of them throughout their illnesses - from the beginning to the end.  That was how I showed my support.  I organized a blood drive for my father, as he had 6 different transfusions. I donated (and still do) my own blood.  I met with his doctors.  I asked questions. I had to utilize FMLA for an "intermittent" leave of absense from work to do all of this.  I almost had to quit school, as well.

Yet I won't wear a plastic bracelet with the masses. It's not my thing.  Does this mean I do not support the battle against cancer?  No, it means I just don't feel like wearing a plastic bracelet.  Those in my office can coerce me all they want to wear a bracelet.  I don't like them.  I don't know why I don't like them, but I don't. I would not consider this thinking only of my needs.  If I did, I would not have done all I listed above.  Do I want an award for it?  No, I'd rather have my Dad back.  Would I ever presume to dictate to another that they should support the fight against cancer and how they should support it?  Heck no.  Nor am I offended by those who do not join that support at all.  It is an individual choice.  Period.  Some people respect things like that.  Others apparently do not.

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 6:20:01 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		See what I meant when I said, "Well, I agree with both of you, but, as I'm sure you're aware, there are plenty of people who think that if their cause is good, they have the right to pressure anyone who refuses to participate in it"?

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

I think you should not have been a weasel and just worn it to show support for your coworker.  That to Me is more important than an ego which nobody likes.

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RE: Should I of lied? - 9/9/2006 7:50:43 PM   
SirKenin


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Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

See what I meant when I said, "Well, I agree with both of you, but, as I'm sure you're aware, there are plenty of people who think that if their cause is good, they have the right to pressure anyone who refuses to participate in it"?

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

I think you should not have been a weasel and just worn it to show support for your coworker.  That to Me is more important than an ego which nobody likes.



See, that is fine and dandy... BUT.  They did not pressure him.  Nowhere in the OP does it mention pressure.  Were they shocked?  Yes.  I would be too quite frankly.  Someone that chooses to make issue out of a bracelet rather than support their camrade?  But they NEVER pressured him.

So...  All these arguments are bunk.  Plain and simple.  What a piece of shit society we live in where we have to put our own needs ahead of anyone else's no matter what and make mountains out of mole hills.  "*I* do not like this".  "*I* do not feel like it".  "This interferes with *my* rights".  Bah. 

< Message edited by SirKenin -- 9/9/2006 7:52:02 PM >

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