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Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/8/2006 8:06:33 PM

dayraven

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/8/2006
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I don't mean that headline as cynically as it might sound. Just trying to get attention ;)

I'd like to include some switch play, in a new relationship, one that's just starting. I think she's game for it, or at least willing to talk it over. I want to take it gradually....not in a hurry, having fun as it is, and I want her to be comfortable, while aware of what I'm (eventually)looking for with her.

I figure we'll talk about it; I'd like to hear about similar situations, how they went, what you would do differently....

:)

Anything you can do to help would be quite...helpful.

Thanks to those of you who've already messaged me!

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RE: Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/9/2006 5:50:51 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

M.Dayraven-

Most of my relationships, and indeed, the best ones, were with a partner who I brought to this stuff, and some of the most disaterous and short lived ones as well. I have found a few points that might help you make it the former case, rather than the latter.

First of all, despite the advice that you will likely get, Don't have a conversation about this stuff, Don't buy her any books or send her to a website to learn about it. It's most likely to scare her off.

Do introduce this stuff gradually, and as simply as possible. Start by simply pinning her with your hands. The first time you tie her down, don't break out leather cuffs and chains- use a bathrobe tie, or her bra, somthing simple and innoculous. Go slow, don't push the issue, and don't push for feedback, either- give her time to process it.

NEVER use scene terminology like BDSM, dominant, submissive, scene, kink, bondage, whatever- words have different connetations to people, let her decide what she is comfortable calling it. As much as I dislike refering to this stuff as 'play' it's a good word to use with a neophyte.

Keep it light hearted, and fun, joke about it... Above all, be patient.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/9/2006 7:01:26 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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dayraven, cynicism is best left to those who know how to use it effectively.. My advice (non cnynical) is to listen to TC, he usually knows what he's talking about.

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RE: Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/9/2006 9:46:56 AM

dayraven

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Joined: 9/8/2006
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Thanks, IronBear and topcat. That does sound like good, practical advice.

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RE: Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/9/2006 10:09:06 AM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Alway happy to oblige..

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/9/2006 10:10:42 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
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I tied her up and fucked her.

Worked out OK.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dayraven

I figure we'll talk about it; I'd like to hear about similar situations, how they went, what you would do differently....

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RE: Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/9/2006 10:24:42 AM

deltadawn

Posts: 224
Joined: 7/15/2006
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A suprise touch while she is elsewhere busy, such as doing dishes, cooking. Be careful when cooking though.

Whispers come to mind.

A slight tug of her hair.

Nibbles in secret places.

Another words, Pump up the play. Little by little.

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RE: Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/9/2006 11:30:44 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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What kind of switch play? SM? Ds? kinky sex?

If kinky sex...see if she likes being told what to do, being held down, being called names. ASK beforehand. If someone did these things to me, they'd hit some landmines in my head. See if she likes to be on top, like to tell YOU want to do, likes to make you beg, etc.etc.

If SM...see if she likes to be bound, spanked and maybe a nipple clamp or something. See if she'd be willing to do some of the milder things you like.

If Ds...for you being the top (I've assumed you're a het male, sorry if you're not), start in the bedroom. For her being the top, start in the Kitchen.

Master Fire

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RE: Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/10/2006 2:44:40 AM

zero69u2

Posts: 107
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

tie her up and do her anal and then slap your cock back in her mouth., that'll change the relationship real quick..

one of the best ways i think is pop the porn in the DVD player and then hey that looks interesting.. let's try that out.

next thing you know you'll have her in a pretzel with her legs tied above her head..

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RE: Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/10/2006 1:24:13 PM

dayraven

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/8/2006
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From the practical to the downright...exuberent ;) Thanks, all!

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Post #: 10

RE: Advice for flipping a romantic relationship - 9/10/2006 5:55:12 PM

bandit25