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Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 2:01:50 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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I am sure most submissives would like an encounter or session with a Dominant that has some personal history and or personal interaction with them.

How many submissives would venture to have a session or encounter with a Dominant that was known to be safe but had no personal feelings for the submissive.

Would a session for the sake of sensation and experience, with a boot camp approach, living up to the image and facade of the strong unwaivering Dominant that would do anything and everything within that submissive's consenting limits have its appeal even though there was no chance of current or future feelings?

Why or why not?

If you found such a session enjoyable and entertaining would you attempt to pursue it again with the intents of gaining a personal interest form the Dominant?

I know this was a bit long winded but I appreciate your patience in advance.

Post #: 1

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 2:13:52 AM

simplygrl

Posts: 46
Joined: 7/6/2005
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I myself need to feel some sort of...emotion? Towards someone before I can submit to them/give them that power. I don't think I'd be able to do so in a non-familiar-no-personal feelings manner. Honestly, I think it is because I trust my Sir...beyond words. And I could not trust someone that I did not feel cared for me, regardless of their reputation.

_____________________________

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(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 2

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 2:30:17 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplygrl

I myself need to feel some sort of...emotion? Towards someone before I can submit to them/give them that power. I don't think I'd be able to do so in a non-familiar-no-personal feelings manner. Honestly, I think it is because I trust my Sir...beyond words. And I could not trust someone that I did not feel cared for me, regardless of their reputation.

Submission comes on many levels though doesn't it?

Physical "submission" for purely tactile sensations or situational thrills might be one right?

Emotional submission comes much later with a trusted one correct?

So is the end desired results one of a personal relationship that includes submission?

(in reply to simplygrl)

Post #: 3

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 2:35:32 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

I am sure most submissives would like an encounter or session with a Dominant that has some personal history and or personal interaction with them.

Nice but certainly not required for me. I've been 'demo dummy' for a number of Dom's whom I'd never met before and, generally, had a blast doing something new and unique. I learned a lot that way and don't regret any of it.

quote:

How many submissives would venture to have a session or encounter with a Dominant that was known to be safe but had no personal feelings for the submissive.

Again, no issues here. Sessions are all about S/M (play time!!)for me.. D/s, that's a different kettle of fish.

quote:

Would a session for the sake of sensation and experience, with a boot camp approach, living up to the image and facade of the strong unwaivering Dominant that would do anything and everything within that submissive's consenting limits have its appeal even though there was no chance of current or future feelings?

Absolutely, especially if it's something I've never tried before! My feelings are tied up in one person and quite adequate for my day to day existance, but S/M sessions are pure entertainment and I don't need to have feelings to be a target .. just the willingness to say yes and the permission of Himself to do so.

quote:

Why or why not?

Variety is the spice of life! Himself doesn't do/know anything and everything about different techniques in BDSM nor does he want to, so when an opportunity comes along for an unusual experience, I'm all for it if allowed. Himself has never denied me the opportunity to further my education by participating in demo's.

quote:

If you found such a session enjoyable and entertaining would you attempt to pursue it again with the intents of gaining a personal interest form the Dominant?

No, but I may well request instruction for Himself if it's something I think he may enjoy adding to our personal repetoire and he agrees with that judgement.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 4

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 5:50:53 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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Wouldn't work for me.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 5

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 5:54:23 AM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

No way. I don't need to experience things just for experience sake. I have always been with those where feelings were involved. I am only submissive to someone I care about, not just anyone with Dominant in his profile.

_____________________________

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Post #: 6

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 6:09:45 AM

ayasha

Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline

one has had sessions without an emotional involvement and has had a wonderful time! It is different than a session with the Dominant that one is emotionally involved with, yet it can be very exciting and enjoyable.

one might pursue another session with that Dominant as the enjoyment for both of us would probably increase as we became more used to each other, but one wouldn't necessarily pursue it with the goal of a relationship in mind. one knows of Dominants that are wonderful to play with, yet do not have what this one is looking for as a Master. That would have to be decided on an individual basis.

~ ayasha ~

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 7

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 6:10:04 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
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i think i would agree with Celeste here to a degree. i am willing to be and have been a demo dummy from demos with people i did not know personally (ie. have a relationship with). i also tend to play in public and have bottomed in some of those play sessions.

However please note my word usage there, i can bottom for someone i don't have a personal relationship with, but bottoming (getting the sensation) is not the same as submitting, at least not for me. Although i have bottomed in the past and probably will again, it doesn't fulfill the same place in me that submitting does and therefore is not as fulfilling as when i am experiencing the same exact sensations but am submitting to the person who is inflicting them. Also to me, if i am "merely" bottoming, like Celeste mentioned, there is no sexual interaction.

If i had a good session of bottoming with a particular Dom would i then want another one, yes, i would, whether or not i would then try to pursue a relationship with Him is another story all together. Does He want a relationship, has He already stated that He is just looking for play, there would be a lot of variables to consider.

That's my take on your questions, hope that helps.

(in reply to SexyRed)

Post #: 8

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 6:11:13 AM

runwiththestorm

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline

For any sort of D/s situation, I find I have to have emotional involvement for the trust to be there.

However, if it's just an S/M scene, at a dungeon with a well respected top, that's different. I've been the 'demo sub' at a number of seminars, when in was in the southwest. I've tried things with those who are experienced, just for the sake of trying them. This is all purely physical, endorphin rush, that sort of thing.

The much deeper mental and emotional reactions that any sort of D/s draws have to be with someone I trust. Someone I don't trust who tries to hit those 'switches', if you will, usually just generates a self defense reaction on my part. Not at all what is desired, and generally not a good thing, no matter how you slice it.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 9

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 6:25:56 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
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I've never been a "demo dummy" but i think i would be happy to be such if the opportunity arose.

My experience isn't vast, but there have been a few Domianants in the past that i have submitted to physically, for play only, in which there was not a "relationship" involved per se. Nor was there a possibility for a relationship outside of friendship. Two of these were so naturally dominant and commanding, that they were able to put me into a headspace that is usually reserved to someone i was devoted to and/or in a relationship with. So i was able to enjoy the experience even more than i thought i would.
I try not to do this often, because i know myself well enough to realise that prolonged intense play with one person will cause me to bond strongly with them, and i would rather not bond in that way, with someone who is unavailable...or inappropriate for me.

Ideally, of course, i'd prefer the whole ball of wax ,( hot wax..mm), which would be Someone to whom i could submit to both physically and emotionally.

(in reply to SexyRed)

Post #: 10

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 6:29:05 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

Absolutely! I have and I would again. S/m is fun, I enjoy it and…in the safety of a familiar dungeon with friends around…find it a good way to get to know ‘said Dom’. LOL

Not only do I find it absolutely wonderful just to be involved in ‘playfulness’ (which I find even fierce, edgy S/m to be), it’s also neat to experience new things. Is this not how we learn? I’ve always been a strong proponent in kicking tires…

As others have stated, however, S/m in such a setting has nothing to do with either sex or submission.

bearlee

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 11

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 6:49:43 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

I am sure most submissives would like an encounter or session with a Dominant that has some personal history and or personal interaction with them.

How many submissives would venture to have a session or encounter with a Dominant that was known to be safe but had no personal feelings for the submissive.

Would a session for the sake of sensation and experience, with a boot camp approach, living up to the image and facade of the strong unwaivering Dominant that would do anything and everything within that submissive's consenting limits have its appeal even though there was no chance of current or future feelings?

Why or why not?

If you found such a session enjoyable and entertaining would you attempt to pursue it again with the intents of gaining a personal interest form the Dominant?

I know this was a bit long winded but I appreciate your patience in advance.

I wouldnt session for the sake of casual sex if thats what you're asking.

**Edited because I went beyond the scope of the que.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 9/9/2006 6:52:19 AM >

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 12

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 7:03:32 AM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Would a session for the sake of sensation and experience, with a boot camp approach, living up to the image and facade of the strong unwaivering Dominant that would do anything and everything within that submissive's consenting limits have its appeal even though there was no chance of current or future feelings?

For me it is appealing. In the past i wanted exactly this. I only wanted the sensations, i did not want to feel any attachment to anyone. I have written numerous times that i just want to feel the pain that is to be given.......do what you have to do, get it over with, thank you for the experience, perhaps we will do it again, have a good night, bye. I'm not a subspace kind of woman, this type of thing suited me even moreso......i just wanted beat.

quote:

If you found such a session enjoyable and entertaining would you attempt to pursue it again with the intents of gaining a personal interest form the Dominant?

Not a chance in hell. I would certainly contact them to see if they wanted to play again. Just beat me and go home........works for me.

~smilezz~

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(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 13

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 7:06:41 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I have a Dom that I met via emails and we talked on the phone for a couple of months. The first time I looked into his eyes the emotions were there for me.,.. we played the first day we met and it felt so right.

I do not think I could go there without an emotional connection... it the whole reason for WIITWD for me...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 14

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 7:35:42 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69
How many submissives would venture to have a session or encounter with a Dominant that was known to be safe but had no personal feelings for the submissive.

I do all the time, I love playing with new people I meet at conventions or sold at auction and such.

quote:

If you found such a session enjoyable and entertaining would you attempt to pursue it again with the intents of gaining a personal interest form the Dominant?

Not with THAT intention, but I'd certainly let them know how much I enjoyed it and hope to play again.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 15

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 7:41:00 AM

kitty2MLoneWolf

Posts: 149
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

How many submissives would venture to have a session or encounter with a Dominant that was known to be safe but had no personal feelings for the submissive.

Would a session for the sake of sensation and experience, with a boot camp approach, living up to the image and facade of the strong unwaivering Dominant that would do anything and everything within that submissive's consenting limits have its appeal even though there was no chance of current or future feelings?

I actually do live with my owner and I would have to say that I do not have "strong feelings" for Him. There is a safety and sense of caring that I need at this point in my life, but I will not allow myself or put Him in the position of developing any strong attachments to me. Alot of it has to do with my history, but there is also for us the aspect of me joining His family of which He has a 10 yr marriage and children. I do not want in anyway shape fashion or form want to interfere with the relationship that they have with each other. (yes it is poly the wife is involved as well)

<modified to add>

I also have to add that one of my personal "fetish / kinks" is danger play. I LOVE the thought of meeting someone new and playing with very little concept of what they might be capable of. This does NOT mean I dont use common sense when meeting them.. but ... the rush is in the truly not knowing.

< Message edited by kitty2MLoneWolf -- 9/9/2006 7:43:05 AM >

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Dont worry about what other people think....they dont do it very often!

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Post #: 16

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 8:11:43 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I have been handed to one who was a complete stranger to me (and I to him) for use, but Master remained in the room, watching and instructing at all times. My feeling was that I was serving and obeying my Master, not this stranger. It was a unique and interesting experience for me.

Because of my feelings and loyalty to my Master, I would not seek the personal interest of another Dom as my goal. I believe my situation is different than what you are inquiring about, however. .

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 17

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/9/2006 8:15:50 AM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

How many submissives would venture to have a session or encounter with a Dominant that was known to be safe but had no personal feelings for the submissive.

This MASOCHIST would. In fact, I almost perfer that there be no emotional entanglements involved. Liking and friendship are more than enough for me.

quote:

If you found such a session enjoyable and entertaining would you attempt to pursue it again with the intents of gaining a personal interest form the Dominant?

I would pursue it again, yes, but not for the intent of gaining personal interest. Only for the intent of pushing some limits and going a bit further than we did the time previous.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 18

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/10/2006 12:43:16 AM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I have been handed to one who was a complete stranger to me (and I to him) for use, but Master remained in the room, watching and instructing at all times. My feeling was that I was serving and obeying my Master, not this stranger. It was a unique and interesting experience for me.

Because of my feelings and loyalty to my Master, I would not seek the personal interest of another Dom as my goal. I believe my situation is different than what you are inquiring about, however. .

I was caned by another Dom at a play party once, but Master was right there and nothing sexual took place. I believe I could be interested in trying things like electrical play or different kinds of whips that Master isn't experienced in, but only with His permission and only if He was there (for reassurance purposes).

I do not want or believe I could indulge in anything sexual with a person I did not know - there has to be some kind of connection there for me even if it is just friendship.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 19

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/10/2006 1:35:13 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69
How many submissives would venture to have a session or encounter with a Dominant that was known to be safe but had no personal feelings for the submissive.

Would a session for the sake of sensation and experience, with a boot camp approach, living up to the image and facade of the strong unwaivering Dominant that would do anything and everything within that submissive's consenting limits have its appeal even though there was no chance of current or future feelings?

Why or why not?

If you found such a session enjoyable and entertaining would you attempt to pursue it again with the intents of gaining a personal interest form the Dominant?

Many, many bottoms, subs and slave do this already when they choose to visit a Pro Dom. One of the appeals of at PD is that there won't be any emotional commitment. There's also the added bonus that they get to dictate what kind of Dominant they get, to a certain extent, so if they want a strong, unwaivering Dominant, they can certainly have it! It seems to work for a lot of people; most PDs I know have repeat customers.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 20

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