Domination regardless of sexual persuasion?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Domination regardless of sexual persuasion?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Domination regardless of sexual persuasion?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 2:25:55 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

If a Dominant was truly dominant shouldn't he enjoy dominating anyone regardless of his sexual persuasion or that of the submissive of either sex simply for the pleasure of dominating?

Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

Post #: 1

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 2:42:04 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

If a Dominant was truly dominant shouldn't he enjoy dominating anyone regardless of his sexual persuasion or that of the submissive of either sex simply for the pleasure of dominating?

I don't know about 'should'.. because for a lot of dominants, BDSM is all or mostly about sex. For Himself, it's not, so he enjoys utilizing targets of both genders.

quote:

Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

Himself reserves sexual domination for a single person, which is me.. he's straight and has no interest in sexual activity with males. When he engages in S/M with males, it's for the power trip he gets, not so he can get his rocks off with sexual activity.

If he did decide he wanted to engage in sexual domination with others, male or female, I would have zero issues with it and would only beg permission to be allowed to watch.. or, at least listen while wearing a blindfold. ::grins::

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 2

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 6:23:56 AM

ayasha

Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline

No - some Dominants only want to dominate males, others want to dominate females. Example: There are many, many male Dominants that would derive absolutely no pleasure from dominating a male submissive, in fact have absolutely no desire to do so.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 3

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 6:59:09 AM

lauren0221

Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

I don't believe there should be shoulds? We are all individuals, with our own preferences and desires. As far as I know, there is no Dominants rulebook that lists what should and should not be pleasurable to them:)

P.S. If there is such a rulebook, I would LOVE to read it.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 4

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 7:33:55 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69
If a Dominant was truly dominant shouldn't he enjoy dominating anyone regardless of his sexual persuasion or that of the submissive of either sex simply for the pleasure of dominating?

Depends on the person. For some people sexual orientation is inextricable to what they want in their Ds, as Ds is a personal relationship orientation.

quote:

Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

See above. Depends on the person.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 5

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 7:36:56 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

If a Dominant was truly dominant shouldn't he enjoy dominating anyone regardless of his sexual persuasion or that of the submissive of either sex simply for the pleasure of dominating?

Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

I think these questions depend on the dominant answering them, perhaps this question would have been better asked in the master's forum, it would have been very interesting to see their answers because as a submissive I would just be guessing.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 6

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 9:01:45 AM

TopCurious0

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/2/2005
From: West Lafayette, IN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

If a Dominant was truly dominant shouldn't he enjoy dominating anyone regardless of his sexual persuasion or that of the submissive of either sex simply for the pleasure of dominating?

Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

If a driver was truly a driver shouldn't he enjoy driving any vehicle regardless of its style, performace or state of maintanance purely for the sake of driving?

Should driving any vehicle be equally fun regardless of the drivers preferences?
(SUVs make me feel like I'm going to flip every time I make a turn)

More seriously, what is 'truly dominent'? and what does one get out of the process? If one enjoys the power trip for its own sake, then I suspect so. For me, I very much enjoy the melding of lust, desire, and control. I find sexualized tension different from normal tension. That may mean your answer is no, or it may be that I don't qualify under your definition of 'truly dominent'. Given I suspect I will never play or get involved with you, I don't really care if I do or don't fit that definition anyway, as long as I know what I want and enjoy and can communicate clearly with the people I want to share the experiance with. Orientations meshing is one precondition for my enjoyment, but it is by no means the only one.

_____________________________

Kinky geek power!

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 7

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 9:49:24 AM

Casie

Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

I think you are refering to just having a dominate personality or being a leader of sorts. Yes I believe a dominate personality excluding all sexual desires would derive pleasure from dominating/leading all situations.

(in reply to TopCurious0)

Post #: 8

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 10:01:35 PM

LoganStrange

Posts: 34
Joined: 4/13/2006
Status: offline

One must also consider why the Dom gets pleasure,
In my line of work, I must always be nice, keep peace, be the diplomat,
My joy comes from not having to be so, to know that my word is followed
without question, it is a huge stress relief, to not have to always compromise,
and from that aspect, any gender fullfills this, however, I have a sadistic streak and a need for sexual dominance as well, so I never bother with male subs as they would only fullfill a small need and quite frankly would have no needs of thier own fullfilled.

(in reply to Casie)

Post #: 9

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 10:16:25 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

If a Dominant was truly dominant shouldn't he enjoy dominating anyone regardless of his sexual persuasion or that of the submissive of either sex simply for the pleasure of dominating?

Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

Not for me. There is a definite difference in how a woman submits as to how a man submits. I feel energies and I just prefer the male energy. I get no joy in playing with females. I guess I'm just not "kewel".

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 10

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 10:20:12 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69
Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

If you dont enjoy having sex with a submisive, then sexually dominating them isnt going to do a damn thing for you.
I am bisexual, so I ejoy dominating both. One of my best friends is a male Dom, and he would never get anything out of dominating a man, because even though he is as dominant as I am, the idea of controlling a man really doesnt doa thing for him. He enjoys sexualy and sadisticaly dominating women, but the one time he tried it with aman, he said the expereince fell terribly short. It was like playacting to try and get into it, becasue there was absolutely no sexual attraction.

My 2 cents
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 11

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 10:51:04 PM

MistressMelissa

Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69
If a Dominant was truly dominant shouldn't he enjoy dominating anyone regardless of his sexual persuasion or that of the submissive of either sex simply for the pleasure of dominating?

Depends upon why someone dominants another. If it is a sexual thing then their sexual preference will dictate their desire. If it is based upon a power exchange then that will depend upon the individuals involved. While I tend to prefer women, they kneel so nicely. Most men I have met it all about their dicks. I'll do anything you want as long as you touch my dick. I'm becoming a real believe in male chastity. Theoretically it should not matter within the power exchange. Reality we are all attracted to different things.

quote:

Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

Sexually we are attracted to different things. Thus our sexual preferences would be the dictating factor..

_____________________________

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

The person who says it can not be done, should not interrupt the person doing it. - Ancient Wisdom

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 12

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/9/2006 11:01:37 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

I am an equal opportunity sadist, say so openly in my profile and in person, I can enjoy playing with various people of different genders and orientations in an SM context. The energy is different topping a man vs a woman, it is also different topping a gay man vs a hetero man, and topping a hetero woman vs a lesbian. I have Topped all of these at various times, and each has had a different energy that I get returned to me.

I am in a leather Daddy/ boi relationship with a lesbian (some play but non sexual and some service) and a Master slave relationship with Elegant (play, sexual and service), they both feed me in different ways. And I could accept service in a non sexual manner from a slave/ submissive of any gender/ orientation, how that service would manifest itself would be dependant on many things that I won't go into here.

But I realize that some people have different sets of needs and different views of what the whole D/s thing is about for some it is so tied to their sexuality that it cannot be expressed without including sexual matters. For those people where it is so tied to their sexuality, to "dominate" someone they must have some level of sexual attraction. Others who don't have D/s quite as tied to their sexuality can find ways to dominate people who they have an attraction of other than a sexual sort.

BTW domination can certainly be acheved without physical play or sexual contact, so although the literal question may be something I agree with the example you give clouds the issue more than making it clear for many.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 13

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/10/2006 1:39:50 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

It's going to depend on your definition of Dominance. If it includes sex, then sexual attraction and such is very important. If it doesn't, then it doesn't matter. I can think of one real-life example in my head for everyone combination of sexual orientations between a Master and slave. For example, I am bi and my girl is het. It isn't a sexual relationship.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 14

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/10/2006 5:51:17 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

If a Dominant was truly dominant shouldn't he enjoy dominating anyone regardless of his sexual persuasion or that of the submissive of either sex simply for the pleasure of dominating?

Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

I think it can be enjoyable beyond the boundaries of gender and sexual preference, yes. But, my dominance isn't all about sex....so you might be talking about something entirely different. Sex sometimes happens as a result of play, but it's usually NOT the final outcome of much of my encounters and experiences. I myself have experienced a number of really hot scenes with gay men who weren't looking to jump in the sack with me. They truly wanted a transendant SM experience and that is exactly what we had. Some of these fellows to this day tell me that it's been their most intense and enlightening experience.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 15

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/10/2006 9:39:34 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

If a Dominant was truly dominant shouldn't he enjoy dominating anyone...

I love the way you slipped this right by everyone.... that true dominant's are he's...

_____________________________

"You may be right, I may be crazy... but I may just be the lunatic you're looking for!"

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 16

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/10/2006 5:28:18 PM

thisishis

Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline

Some people are comfortable with experiencing certain intimacies with both sexes, and some are not quite so comfortable. Some view how they dominate as being reserved for those who they choose to share those intimate experiences... regardless, their choice may or may not be determined by sexual preference, and it's their choice regardless.... and either choice doesn't make for a more or less dominate person.

So .....
To answer the first question: Err ... No.

a. i take issue with anyone who decides that they should dictate what any other should be or do or should not be or do, without that person's consent.
b. i also take issue with anyone who decides that they should dictate what should define another person as being 'true' or 'real', without that person's consent..

In my opinion, as far as it applies in 'my world': A person is capable of deciding who and how they wish to dominate(with consent of any and all parties being intact), and whether or not they wish to limit it to one sex or another, or both. They don't need anyone else to tell them what is or is not acceptable (and most people of dominant personalities that i know, would not so politely tell anyone who tries to push their definition of acceptable upon them, to shove their pushy views up their own pushy lil' ass).

To answer the second question: Same answer, pretty much... uhm, No.

a. i take issue with anyone who decides that they should dictate what any other should be taking pleasure in, and how they should or should not be taking pleasure in, and whether the pleasures should be limited toward one sex or another .... or not limited, (as long as all parties involved in the pleasure are capable of offering legal consent, and have). You define your pleasure, i'll define mine, thank you.

b. i also take issue with anyone who decides that they should dictate what should define another person's pleasure as being 'true' or 'real', or better, or more or less acceptable without that person's consent. Reminds me too much of when i was a child and an adult insisted, "Try it, you'll like it." More times than not, they had no clue of what i liked and did not like, and insisting that i would or should never did much to change those facts .......... and *i'm* not even dominant.

< Message edited by thisishis -- 9/10/2006 5:34:30 PM >

_____________________________

Sincerely, his

How I'm kept busy these days: http://modelmayhem.com/member.php?id=368120

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 17

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/11/2006 12:16:44 AM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

from the other side... i am bi. but with women, i'm nilla.
i don't ever even consider submitting to a female.. all my submission fantasies that involve control and dominance, even non-sexually, involve males. Was just that way from back when i was 10 and had a crush on Chad Everette, the doctor in Medical Center. He was so controlled, and in control. (or so i thought, being 10 years old. LOL. ) But at that age, i truly didn't have a sexual element in my gig, i probably internalised it as a Daddy thing.

i kind of think some from the other side have the same thing, for some reason, Their dominance fantasies might or could involve only one gender, even without the sexual element. i will say i have bottomed to a female, and that was a genderless bottoming, it was a Friend/ friend thing. as gender dependant as who will drive if we go to the store together.

(in reply to thisishis)

Post #: 18

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/11/2006 4:35:36 AM

Caitriona

Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis

from the other side... i am bi. but with women, i'm nilla.
i don't ever even consider submitting to a female.. all my submission fantasies that involve control and dominance, even non-sexually, involve males.

I'm much like you are Mavis. My desires with my girlfriend are very vanilla. We don't really have the defined sexual roles that I have in my relationships with men, specifically my Dom. It's just not an area that I'm interested in exploring with her. For me, it's specifically a male/female thing.

_____________________________

Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to Mavis)

Post #: 19

RE: Domination regardless of sexual persuasion? - 9/11/2006 6:00:37 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lauren0221

quote:

Should sexual dominating of any given submissive be as equally pleasurable regardless of the Dominant's sexual persuasion or that of the submissive?

I don't believe there should be shoulds? We are all individuals, with our own preferences and desires. As far as I know, there is no Dominants rulebook that lists what should and should not be pleasurable to them:)

P.S. If there is such a rulebook, I would LOVE to read it.

It would however open the possibilities to more Saturday night dates...not that there is anything wrong with that. ;)

(in reply to lauren0221)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Domination regardless of sexual persuasion?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094