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demented - 9/9/2006 11:28:59 PM

paynestar

Posts: 30
Joined: 7/21/2006
Status: offline

I have a slave that is so inept at housekeeping, preparing meals, and general cleanliness. He hasn't been able to grasp elementary concepts like reaching/holding a cup, or by even using the microwave to heat up a meal. I have attempted/attempting a hopeful discussion(s) with my slave, but he just feigns innocence. I am not exaggerating. This has been over a period of five months. I am at my wit's end. My conclusion is that I must end this relationship. Has anyone else had this much difficulty in someone?

Post #: 1

RE: demented - 9/9/2006 11:34:46 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: paynestar

I have a slave that is so inept at housekeeping, preparing meals, and general cleanliness. He hasn't been able to grasp elementary concepts like reaching/holding a cup, or by even using the microwave to heat up a meal. I have attempted/attempting a hopeful discussion(s) with my slave, but he just feigns innocence. I am not exaggerating. This has been over a period of five months. I am at my wit's end. My conclusion is that I must end this relationship. Has anyone else had this much difficulty in someone?

*shrugs* Nope. They wouldn't have gotten to that point with me if they were THAT incompetent. I'm a domina and I do this because I enjoy it. I'm not about to teach someone how to be a human being.

(edited content) I'm curious though, have you looked to yourself in being part of the root? I see that your profile predominantly lists you as a "damaged submissive" and I'm wondering whether that's got something to do with it? Are you giving him proper instruction? Are you providing him discipline? Are you giving him structure so that he can learn your expectations?

And help me out -- what's with the title of demented? What's that got to do with someone's ineptness in life?

< Message edited by MisPandora -- 9/9/2006 11:37:35 PM >

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to paynestar)

Post #: 2

RE: demented - 9/9/2006 11:35:00 PM

Bluebird

Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline

Did you not realize he was a golden retriever prior to this point? They don't have opposable thumbs, you know, so picking up a cup is difficult for them. And trying to have a serious discussion with your pet while he is licking himself is just useless...

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RE: demented - 9/9/2006 11:40:17 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

HUH?????

Owned

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Post #: 4

RE: demented - 9/9/2006 11:57:30 PM

paynestar

Posts: 30
Joined: 7/21/2006
Status: offline

I put 'injured submissive' in my profile just to point out what occurred as others seem to evade this topic. I am/have growing/grown in the past few years to become stronger and more disciplined in my emotions and actions. My quest is learning. I appreciate the response(s) as they enable me to reflect further upon myself. I admit to not being as strict as I had hoped; and I will actively tackle this problem. Please excuse the random subject header. There goes my free association, dern it.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 5

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 2:09:42 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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OK I tend to agree that he wouldn't have got this far with Me either, this should be about teaching him to be a slave, not to be a competent human. Your selection process clearly left something to be desired. You have now realised that You might not have been as strict or clear as You could be. Someone like this will obviously need ultra-clear instructions, possibly written down, and a lot of structure. Plus of course praise when he does succeed at something, even if it's a small success. However, that said, there are some who do prove unteachable even with a good teacher. Are You sure there isn't deepseated resentment at Your asking him/expecting him to do these tasks? Perhaps he is working on the line of "If i keep botching this up long enough, She'll give up and i can just be a sex slave and have all the fun without the work!" And he might be waiting for You to realise "if I want something done properly I'll have to do it Myself" too! So it's up to You to clear the air and be sure that he really does want to be a total slave and fully understands what that means. Then set some simple short term achievable goals and monitor them carefully. Best of luck!
Mistress Jay

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Post #: 6

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 6:15:54 AM

MistressWolfen

Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

I have never encountered that problem, nor would I have continued on with a person that exhibited the signs of a cognitive/social? disability.

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Post #: 7

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 7:42:09 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

Does this person have a learning disability of some sort? Is he perhaps doing it on purpose? I am with the others who stated a slave wouldn't have gotten that far with me. If someone can not do basic chores in order to live, they arenot ready to serve another.

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~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

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Post #: 8

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 7:43:15 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Does this person have a learning disability of some sort? Is he perhaps doing it on purpose? I am with the others who stated a slave wouldn't have gotten that far with me. If someone can not do basic chores in order to live, they arenot ready to serve another.

That's kinda what I was thinking. And how'd she pick this one out of the crowd and validate that he was worthy of serving?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 9

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 8:13:43 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

What kind of slave is he? A natural slave, a power exchange slave, or a submissive like yourself (thus not actually a slave). Or is he perhaps some kind of dominant that mistakes himself and is mistaken for a slave? (These things can be complicated.)

What are his talents and strong points? If he is a hammer, it is of no use to complain that he is a bad saw.

If he is a slave, then it is your task to study him and to train him to be the best slave that he can be. That may be to be the best hammer that he can be instead of the best saw that you want him to be.

(in reply to paynestar)

Post #: 10

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 8:14:45 AM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
Status: offline

Well I"m glad there is nothing else between you two that keeps you together.

I've never personally understood a D/s relationship without the. . . relationship. Its more of an arrangment.

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Post #: 11

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 8:19:41 AM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

If he can't pick up a cup or work the microwave, how does he drink or eat?

My guess is that if you went to his house he would be able to do any of these things, that he probably does, in fact, clean every once in a while. If that's the case, then he's just holding out on you. He's probably also laughing up his sleeve that you've accepted this behavior for 5 months.

It sounds to me that you are both getting something out of the current arrangement. Your profile suggests that you need something, but perhaps you don't know what that is. I would suggest that that's why you are in this situation. What do you want from someone? Is it to be a slave? Is it affection? Is it validation? Can you take a moment and look at your needs? I think until you do, you're going to repeat this same pattern.

If you were primarily looking for a slave, you would not have tolerated his behavior for so long.

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Post #: 12

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 1:23:47 PM

paynestar

Posts: 30
Joined: 7/21/2006
Status: offline

Thank you all for your input. I will now work to resovle this situation.

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Post #: 13

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 1:28:35 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I'm just shocked the problem lasted as long as it has. I know if I would never have learned in any of my previous relationships, I would have been kicked to the curb if it was determined the problem was me just not being willing to learn. I mean, I never used to cook; I cook up a storm now. I was all thumbs when it came to massage. I was sent to massage therapy school and give wonderful, sensual massages today. The point is: Whenever I thought I had a problem with some "service" item, I never seemed to be in the presence of a woman that gave up. She usually took whatever step was necessary to make sure that my service to her was 100 percent exactly as she desired.

(in reply to paynestar)

Post #: 14

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 3:23:05 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

Why have YOU let things go on this long. He's now turned it into a game. "Oh mistress I just don't get it please punish me".

I show once, explain twice, third time he's outta there.

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Post #: 15

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 6:12:07 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
Status: offline

Mabey she just likes the attention?

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Post #: 16

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 6:41:11 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

Well, you might want to try finding a more 'mature' slave. At 5 years old, they tend to be difficult to work with and are constantly misbehaving.

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-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

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Post #: 17

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 7:39:54 PM

paynestar

Posts: 30
Joined: 7/21/2006
Status: offline

Ok, I totally failed at this point. I will seek to evaluate myself and any further situation. Take care.

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Post #: 18

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 7:45:27 PM

LadyWhisper

Posts: 54
Status: offline

Yep the Slave would have been history.

Lady Whisper

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Post #: 19

RE: demented - 9/10/2006 8:25:03 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

Well I"m glad there is nothing else between you two that keeps you together.

I've never personally understood a D/s relationship without the. . . relationship. Its more of an arrangment.

Did you mean to point this at me??????

There are some who have service (and not sex) based relationships. You've made it crystal clear to everyone here on the boards that you don't understand service. What I don't get is why you continue to make negative comments about that which you don't care to grasp.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to KarbonCopy)

Post #: 20

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