Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

How do I.....


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> How do I..... Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
How do I..... - 9/11/2006 8:25:14 AM   
gsg


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		How do I let a man know that I want him to take control? I am a bi man and I have a gay friend that is interested in me. He has asked me to sleep with him several times. Every time I tell him "no". However, I really want to but I am purposely playing hard to get because I have a fantasy of him just taking me despite my rejections to his advances. So, how do I hint to him that I want him to take initiative without blatantly telling him to? I want to be his sub but I just don't think he is getting it. He backs off every time I reject him, yet we flirt all the time.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How do I..... - 9/11/2006 8:31:57 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Stop playing games and just tell him already.  Sit down with time just between you two and explain yourself.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to gsg)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How do I..... - 9/11/2006 8:36:11 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		LA's advice is best. However, if you simply cannot make yourself do this face to face, write him a note or letter. Realize, though, this is just a bandaid on the situation...it does not teach you to communicate effectively face to face. You need to learn to do that in order to have lasting, meaningful relationships.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to gsg)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How do I..... - 9/11/2006 9:12:32 AM   
gsg


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks, LA. I am trying to get the nerve up to talk to him about it.  I never thought that my game playing might be preventing things from going forward. I just really wanted it to go the way I envisioned. I know that if I say something to him things will definitely move forward but I wonder if it will be as good for me since I guided him to that point.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How do I..... - 9/11/2006 9:33:06 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gsg
Thanks, LA. I am trying to get the nerve up to talk to him about it.  I never thought that my game playing might be preventing things from going forward. I just really wanted it to go the way I envisioned. I know that if I say something to him things will definitely move forward but I wonder if it will be as good for me since I guided him to that point.

You might also think that you don't really want him to control you- you want him to play the game that you want played.

The only way you can get him to play your game fairly is to let him know what the game is.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to gsg)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How do I..... - 9/11/2006 9:42:34 AM   
gsg


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: gsg
Thanks, LA. I am trying to get the nerve up to talk to him about it.  I never thought that my game playing might be preventing things from going forward. I just really wanted it to go the way I envisioned. I know that if I say something to him things will definitely move forward but I wonder if it will be as good for me since I guided him to that point.

You might also think that you don't really want him to control you- you want him to play the game that you want played.

The only way you can get him to play your game fairly is to let him know what the game is.


I do see it being more of cat and mouse thing rather than a control thing for the time being. Although, it could go to a dom/sub situation later. I am having such a hard time getting up the nerve to talk to him about it though. Just don't know where to start.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How do I..... - 9/11/2006 10:49:31 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Why don't you show him your post here?  Let him figure it out.  It amazes me how people can open up to complete strangers yet cannot open up to friends or companions in life.

(in reply to gsg)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How do I..... - 9/17/2006 3:04:41 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Jeez ... just tell the poor man for heaven's sake *lol* ... He can't read your mind.  He will not know you wish to belong to him if you don't tell him.  Generally ... no means no.  If you tell him  ... no, expect him to take  you at your word.  Flirting after a negative response just confuses him and blurs the lines of what you want.

Just TELL HIM.




_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How do I..... - 9/17/2006 3:32:18 PM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Stop playing games and just tell him already.  Sit down with time just between you two and explain yourself.



this slave could not add anything of more importance that what LuckyAlbatross said.

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How do I..... - 9/17/2006 4:55:35 PM   
petcerina


Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		In essence, you are wanting this man to break the law, and risk going to jail for you after you call rape.  He has no idea of your intentions.  Men, and some women for that matter, do not get hints at all.  On top of that, would you jump some girl if she kept flirting with you, but you kept saying no?  i know it's going to be hard to get up the guts to do this, but you won't believe the weight it will take off of your sholders.  Oh, and the best part about this is, you can still play the game after you tell him.  If you don't know when he's going to "rape" you, wouldn't that still make it fun?

(in reply to OhReallyNow)
Profile   Post #: 10
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> How do I..... Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078