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Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 1:18:35 PM   
GambitLeBeau


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Lancashire, UK
Status: offline 		I'm just wondering how common it is that s person's particular fantasy is the same or very similar to a fear?

I ask mainly because it applies to me. As a submissive I enjoy being restrained, and I generally love the idea of losing control and non-consentual submission to a woman/female (that last thread is making me paranoid now!)

However, my main phobia is to lose control. I despise being unable to do anything about a situation, and I hate the frustration. In an ironic twist, a strait-jacket would probably send me insane.

So is this common? Does anyone else have a similar set of fears and fetishes?

Cheers.
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 1:38:40 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GambitLeBeau
So is this common? Does anyone else have a similar set of fears and fetishes?

Cheers.

Depends on how deep the fear goes, or what it's related to, but yes.  That's why we have "fear play."

Playing with fear can be a great way to get over them or see them in a new light or just have a really freakin intense experience (though, as generally considered a form of edge play, should not be undertaken lightly).

Amusement parks are built and survive on the concept that people want controlled intense experiences.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_500881/mpage_1/key_fear/tm.htm#501690
fear?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_293376/mpage_1/key_fear/tm.htm#293681
shadow play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_146628/mpage_1/key_fear/tm.htm#146646
fear



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to GambitLeBeau)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 1:46:57 PM   
GambitLeBeau


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Lancashire, UK
Status: offline 		Hm. That makes sense. I believe I'm thinking slightly differently (though it could in essense stem from the same), in that I don't feel the fear in a submissive state of mind, just the pleasureable aspect.

The amusement park comment links well to what I'm feeling though.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 1:51:28 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Perhaps it's because when you are not in a scene or in a submissive headspace, you feel controlled and safe.  It is under these conditions in which your fear can become an outlet for connection. 

Your insecurities create the fear, the submission controls the fear.  It is born, and then it is molded. 

Maybe.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to GambitLeBeau)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 1:59:35 PM   
GambitLeBeau


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Lancashire, UK
Status: offline 		Maybe.

I feel, with me at least, that it's because the helpless situation would be brought on of my own accord, and that my own judgment means that I'd be able to trust that I'd be safely able to come out of the situation relatively unharmed.

I'm just curious as to others' view on the subject.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 3:24:53 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		I used to be scared of a lot of what it is i really wanted to learn... But I am no longer afraid I trust my Master with every fiber of my beeing I know He wont hurt me and so fear about anything in this lifestyle is no longer a real issue.

Magik's Switch

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to GambitLeBeau)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 3:35:12 PM   
siouxie


Posts: 1725
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Southwest UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GambitLeBeau

I'm just wondering how common it is that s person's particular fantasy is the same or very similar to a fear?



can't speak for others, but i know mine is. it is also, in part, based upon something that happened to me when i was a teenager. nope - i don't understand the psychology of it.

_____________________________

[/end sarcasm]

My therapist says that would not be appropriate just now

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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 3:40:35 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		i have a fantasy which i am very reluctant to pursue as it deals with restraint and rape (by females only). one of the main things i fear is that, while restrained, one of my biggest hard limits would be broken and would damage me perminantly for life. (that of someone sneaking a guy into the scene...which would send me to a nut house)

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to siouxie)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 3:51:16 PM   
GambitLeBeau


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Lancashire, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

i have a fantasy which i am very reluctant to pursue as it deals with restraint and rape (by females only). one of the main things i fear is that, while restrained, one of my biggest hard limits would be broken and would damage me perminantly for life. (that of someone sneaking a guy into the scene...which would send me to a nut house)


I can empathise with that exact scenario. You just need to do it with somebody you know you can truly trust.

(in reply to michaelGA2)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 3:57:14 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		right now, there isn't anyone i know or trust enough to even think about it. so it remains a fantasy.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to GambitLeBeau)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 3:59:12 PM   
GambitLeBeau


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Lancashire, UK
Status: offline 		S'fair enough.

Hopefully you'll find the right person to provide you with what you crave, and who you can make happy.

(in reply to michaelGA2)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 4:10:12 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline 		ah, the line between desire and dread.......it's delicious to have Someone ya trust walk along it......and terrible to be taken there unwillingly.  pinkee

(in reply to GambitLeBeau)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 4:17:57 PM   
GambitLeBeau


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Lancashire, UK
Status: offline 		It's lucky the text is big and bright. Your avatar is rather a distraction!

(in reply to pinkee)
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RE: Fantasies and Fears - 9/12/2006 10:35:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I used to fantasize about the things I feared, yet intrigued me.  As was previously pointed out, when experienced with a trusted one, such fears can be faced and even enjoyed.  I say "used to" because most of those fantasies have been realized.  Those that haven't been, likely will be at some point.  Fantasy can be mental and emotional exploration of a situation.  I encourage it.

(in reply to GambitLeBeau)
Profile   Post #: 14
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