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RE: A Dominant's Opinion - 9/13/2006 9:04:31 AM

secretstar1

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/12/2006
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I am looking for a Master, I have talked to this one and he says he wants to hurt me?
I have a feeling I should look else where what do you think?

(in reply to agirl)

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Post #: 21

RE: A Dominant's Opinion - 9/13/2006 9:06:44 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I would ask him what he means when he says that, and if you do not want to play with your masochistic side I would stay away from a sadist-type dominant... but that is me and if were you I would talk to him about exactly what he means

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 22

RE: A Dominant's Opinion - 9/13/2006 9:10:10 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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The boy and I disagree on certain aspects of our D/s life. While he shares my opinions on the majority of things, there are certain aspects we may never agree on. If I should choose to ush one of the topics I like than I know he doesnt.. I expect him to outwardly disagree. I dont get angry with him for it, and if his agrument against is logical and useful, ratehr than just bristling becasue he is being pushed, I will usually back off. We are still very much in a beginning stage, so I expect a lot of disagreements until we getto know one anotehr far better. Thankfully, in and outside D/s, we have enough in commong that it doesnt cause major problems.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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Post #: 23

RE: A Dominant's Opinion - 9/13/2006 9:46:39 AM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Do you think that some dominants do not want to disagree with their submissives at times for the same reason, that we influence and rub off on them?

Oh, They WANT to disagree, it irks Both in extreme to have to conceed a point in a debate. lol. But when it's time to ask for my opinion, i do have a lot of influence with Both.

Probably the second happiest thing to hear, right behind "good girl" type stuff is "Let Me run this by you and see what you think..." i feel much more valued when my skills and abilities are appreciated and utilized.

Julia.. yes, i noticed the diffs of opinion a cpl of times, that didn't shock or surprise me, "Him and His parrot" stuff doesn't seem to fit you and Sinergy.

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Post #: 24

RE: A Dominant's Opinion - 9/13/2006 10:35:32 AM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
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I think it is only natural that Dominant types and sub types who bond together share certain beliefs about D/s. Otherwise, how would they form any connection beyond "H/hello/whip you/ G/goodbye"?

holly and I have some divergent views about D/s, service and such, but over all we seem to glide together in shared beliefs. Often she'll ask Me if something she's read or thought about "tracks" My beliefs, and when I answer she will say "that's how I feel too". It isn't sychophancy, she is reflecting that we are very much in synch on this stuff. And sometimes I'll ask her and find out that our opinion is generally the same.

Often if we differ, it will be more about tactics than strategy. She is far more gentle and deferential than I am, and often she'll suggest a way to approach a person or situation that gets the desired goal with less hassle than My proposed approach. Of course, when she suggests something I see as good, I immediately adopt it as Mine so that I can be all domly and make sure she knows I thought of it first *GRIN*

Of course, sometimes those shared beliefs are "wow, did you see what so-and-so said on the CM board? I just do not get him/her" "nor do I, little girl, nor do I."

nice thread, julia.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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Post #: 25

RE: A Dominant's Opinion - 9/13/2006 11:09:08 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear juliaoceania, Ladies and Gentlemen;

A Dominant's Opinion is merely an opinion. It is not a command but, depending on when that opinion is given, it may indeed be a judgement. Then when it is a judgement, it is a command.

It is also important, that the degrees of a slave/submissive experience often influences their mental logic in dealing with presented opinions. It is a matter of being accepted, that will have a slave or submissive more pliable to the molding of the dominant's preferences.
When they are wiser and older, these same slaves and submissives find the mechanics to disagree with their Dominants, as well as influence and manipulate their Dominants. It works both ways, as Dominants seek the approval of their slaves/submissives and that is why there is a circle that spirals between domination and submission as acts/behavior/attitudes; as it all works to achieve a balance that is approved by both.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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Post #: 26

RE: A Dominant's Opinion - 9/13/2006 4:39:25 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
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Responding to the OP: I think when you spend time with people, especially ones you talk with and respect, you will tend to migrate your beliefs and thinking more and more toward thiers. Not completely, perhaps, but some.

If you were very politically conservative but all of your friends were liberals, then I would expect over the course of a few years that you would, through heated but friendly debates, would see some of their logic and move more toward their stance just as they would do the same with your logic and your stance.

I would imagine that bieng in a D/s or M/s situation would make that even more real....both ways.

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Post #: 27

RE: A Dominant's Opinion - 9/15/2006 5:52:01 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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I wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with someone who held wildly differing views on D/s than I do. If he said his wishes come first, to hell with what my kids are used to, I wouldn't have talked to him again. It was because we meshed so well that we knew we could work long term; we like most of the same foods, we have similar taste in music, books, we both prefer going for walks to other forms of exercise, we're both bondage fanatics etc. Basically we just are highly compatible and that's wonderful to be with someone who really likes me the way I am and doesn't feel a need to change me to make me his ideal woman, his fantasy come to life. Because I'll never be able to be that, I'd always fail at being anybody other than me.

(in reply to agirl)

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Post #: 28

RE: A Dominant's Opinion - 9/17/2006 3:26:10 PM

diamonddreamlove

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Joined: 5/19/2006
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He expects me to use my brain even if it is not exactly His thinking. He encourages me to express my views and has stated He would not feel the same way about me if i didn't use my brain.

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Post #: 29