RE: What other words do you use for.....

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NastyDaddy -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 12:11:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika There is a difference between saying something directed to someone and someone taking a general statement personally. One I can control the other I can not. Also there is a difference between something you say hurting someone your supposed to cherish and protect and some John Doe. As a Dom/me I beleive you have an obligation to protect your submissive/slave I have no obligations to John Doe other than not to be malisious or violate ToS. And so.... it would appear that you have your own "opinion". Any more earth shaking news? [:D]

NastyDaddy -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 12:16:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika ... Now if someone takes my words personally I can not control that. No... remember your own philosophy.... this simply makes you a monster.

Tamerofwild1s -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 1:02:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Good thoughts here Phoenix. I see also that you have a partner in all this :) I figure the best way to know what works and what doesn't is to listen to all the advice, then check to see who HAS a submissive and who doesn't. The ones that have a submissive are probably doing what works. so If I actually read this right .. since I don't have a submissive ..... I don't know what I am talking about . and am not doing things right ?? ... just looking for clarification here Lotus ...

LotusSong -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 1:20:01 PM)
If a Dom/me goes through submissives as if he/she has a revolving door on their dungeon.. or is clearly stating what they wish and no one is taking the "bait".... or the Dom/me doesn't seem to have any submissives that stay with them for any length of time (provided they are WANTING an LTR with one)..Then perhaps a procedure should be re-evaluated. Would one take advice from a doctor that doesn't have any patients that lived? I just shared how I evaluate what works and what doesn't for ME. That's how I sift through it all. .

Phoenixandnika -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 1:54:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tamerofwild1s quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Good thoughts here Phoenix. I see also that you have a partner in all this :) I figure the best way to know what works and what doesn't is to listen to all the advice, then check to see who HAS a submissive and who doesn't. The ones that have a submissive are probably doing what works. so If I actually read this right .. since I don't have a submissive ..... I don't know what I am talking about . and am not doing things right ?? ... just looking for clarification here Lotus ... Some of the Dom/me and gorean Masters I respect most don't currently have a submissive or collar in their collar. I don't think that automatically suggests general knowledge or even specific knowledge. In my opinion that means they have been lucky enough to find someone that fits for them and found things that work for them. (Yes, that includes myself and my Master.)

NastyDaddy -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 1:58:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong If a Dom/me goes through submissives as if he/she has a revolving door on their dungeon.. or is clearly stating what they wish and no one is taking the "bait".... or the Dom/me doesn't seem to have any submissives that stay with them for any length of time (provided they are WANTING an LTR with one)..Then perhaps a procedure should be re-evaluated. Would one take advice from a doctor that doesn't have any patients that lived? I just shared how I evaluate what works and what doesn't for ME. That's how I sift through it all. . It looks like you spelled it out this time very clearly, with no "iffyness" whatsoever... thanks Doc! Let there be no further use of the word "slut" in bdsm play... the Rx has now been prescribed... [8\|]

Tamerofwild1s -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 2:04:11 PM)
BUT . according to the quoted statement since my profile doesn't reflect that I have any submissive or slave under my care . that my advise should be thrown out and it would lead one to think that you also feel that I don't know what Iam doing in thelifestyle ... I am only reflecting your stated opinions here Lotus .. so in fact I am not successful so oneshould discount my advice and knowledge as less then your because you have someone .. I see .... interesting brain thought there

Phoenixandnika -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 2:08:40 PM)
Leads to the following questions. Do some beleive that to be a Dom/me or Master you MUST have a slave or submissive in your collar? Do some beleive that to be a submissive or slave you MUST be collared? Note: In no way am I suggesting that is what Lotus was saying, however; I have meet some people that beleive the above statements.

NastyDaddy -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 2:09:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika Some of the Dom/me and gorean Masters I respect most don't currently have a submissive or collar in their collar. I don't think that automatically suggests general knowledge or even specific knowledge. In my opinion that means they have been lucky enough to find someone that fits for them and found things that work for them. (Yes, that includes myself and my Master.) If they don't have a collared sub (under collar), this does not automatically suggest that they don't have general knowledge or specific knowledge. (This is a really good observation I must say...) Further, it means they have been fortunate enough to find someone that fits for them, like you and your Master have. These are definitely some real pearls.... but I just can't for the life of me make their connection to using the word "slut" in bdsm play?

sublizzie -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 2:12:27 PM)
Anyone who knows me in r/l knows that I am a submissive. However, I am not collared. Does that mean I'm not "real"? Nope. Just means I haven't met the one who I'm willing to offer my submission to completely. Do I negate someone's Dom/me status because they do not currently have someone collared? No. Just means they aren't currently in relationship with someone who fits their collar. I know some Dom/mes currently without a submissive who are definitely Dom/me. No question in my mind.

LotusSong -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 2:23:55 PM)
The proof will always be in the history. This thread is not about who is Dom or not.. it's about a technique . What works.. how it is handled.. what to do with it... that's all. But let's say that derogatory female slurs are used.. check to see the history of the Dom and submissive. That's the point I'm addressing..

Tamerofwild1s -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 2:45:17 PM)
I will concur that this thread was in fact started as the OP asking for advice on how to handle a situation ..... and your OP was an attack on my suggestion of advice and that it in fact was wrong according to how you practice .... it was further clarified by your future posts of since I don't currently have a slave in my care according to my profile that I must not exactly know what I am doing and that the OP really shouldn't take my advice.What failed to be brought out was the fact I have 20 something years in this lifestyle ... I do in fact train subs and slaves . and I have worked with many subs on issues that were nightmares of thier past .... and successfully helped them to see the good in things they otherwise thought negative .... The OP needs to decide whats important . if he wishes to change from using slut and whore to his girl then as my OP suggested why not use precious gem since he has already used that ..... if he in fact wishes to continue using the words he has probably used before then to reaffirm to her the positive conotation of a word would in fact be a best choice of direction .... letting her know when he uses slut with her he is in fact meaning it in a good way, one that she can gain pleasure from knowing infers a good thought in her Sir's head ......

Phoenixandnika -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 2:53:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong The proof will always be in the history. This thread is not about who is Dom or not.. it's about a technique . What works.. how it is handled.. what to do with it... that's all. But let's say that derogatory female slurs are used.. check to see the history of the Dom and submissive. That's the point I'm addressing.. The problem with simply looking at someones relationship history is that no two people are the same nor are any two relationships the same. Remember what works for one may not work for the other.

LotusSong -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 3:01:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika The problem with simply looking at someones relationship history is that no two people are the same nor are any two relationships the same. Remember what works for one may not work for the other. To Me.. if someone had many playing partners at all times.. I'd say that was someone just enjoying the lifestyle and not looking. If someone has in their profile that they love to spank while having a fire cracker go off in the sub's ass afterward.. and they never seem to be able to find a submissive.. I think they would need to re-think their fetish LOL! ( I dunno.. I though the firecracker idea would go over with a bang.. but (sigh) guess there aren't any REAL slaves out there)

NastyDaddy -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 3:13:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Good thoughts here Phoenix. I see also that you have a partner in all this :) I figure the best way to know what works and what doesn't is to listen to all the advice, then check to see who HAS a submissive and who doesn't. The ones that have a submissive are probably doing what works. From this...... quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong The proof will always be in the history. This thread is not about who is Dom or not.. it's about a technique . What works.. how it is handled.. what to do with it... that's all. But let's say that derogatory female slurs are used.. check to see the history of the Dom and submissive. That's the point I'm addressing.. To this....... Are we supposed to believe this is another example of: "I know what I said... but you're supposed to know what I really meant"? Awe, cumon Doctor Tapdance.... just have the balls to admit you fucked up... [:D] I can really see how checking a profile gives you a real good and clear history of a Dominant. It would of course be based on the assumption that the Dominant chronicled their lifestyle experience on a free public website and that they didn't just recently join said free public website. Your advice is simply marvelous, and it just keeps getting better.... When you and Phoenixandnika tag-teamed this thread, then we started seeing terminology like "true Dom" show up in your advice posts, followed by the brilliance of the checking profiles wisdom... yet none of it was relevent to "mental baggage issues". It would appear that your advice is indeed very fluid and dynamic it it's own accord, and that it in fact carries broad ranging implications the knee-jerk did not anticipate when proffering the wisdom you so graciously shared. It makes me wonder if those that can't figure out what they are saying wouldn't be better off not saying what they manage to spew, especially "why" they chose to spew their spew? It also makes me wonder if the spewed wisdom comes from experience... or from reading message boards and profiles? [:-]

Phoenixandnika -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 3:31:38 PM)
Tag team the thread, what exactly does that mean? How did we tag team this thread, we participated in a thread on a public forum. I stand by my previous posts, ALL of them. You obviously took my posts personally or at least the phrase "true dom" since you have been picking at it since I posted it. Again I can not control that someone (you) takes a general post or statement personally. I expressed my thoughts on the OPs question and then on the following posts.

NastyDaddy -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 4:16:29 PM)
I do appreciate your concern but it would take much more than a little word to cause me any personal offense. Composite phrases don't upset my rowboat either, but it's always fun watching others resort to them when they have nothing else to contribute. My position remains unchanged... communication is the key between the actual people involved in the relationship. If for some reason one can't cut the mustard the other expects, the other definitely needs to know about it. If the issue (whatever it may be) becomes a showstopper and ends the relationship, so be it. It's nothing more than incompatbility in needs and should not be built up to any sinful prominance on one side or the other. One thing to note however is that the role of submissive typically involves growth (respectful of agreed limits) and understanding as opposed to denial and lack of individual flexibility in growth. Drawing a line in the sand over a word does not constitute growth... it merely bolsters self fear and stagnation. If a submissive enters a relationship they can expect to grow... anything else is just narrow minded play. Renegotiations of limits are indeed permissable, yes.... and should be done as necessary by either side, notwitstanding potential effects.

LotusSong -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 4:44:34 PM)
Yanno.. I wrote 3 responses here.. but then figured I'd consider the source. I really feel my responses were very clear. I don't type in between the lines very well, so I avoid doing that. What I said is what I said. When people keep picking at every word..; and then I'm stupid enough to play into the game.. I can see where you might be confused. Listen guys, it's been fun playing here... but just consider what I've said and maybe you might refine your approaches. Class will win every time.

NastyDaddy -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/15/2006 5:01:03 PM)
To get back in? Why don't you just look at my profile and use your secret decoder ring... "Daddy's girls" did get yet another good laugh, thanks! [:D]

happypervert -> RE: What other words do you use for..... (9/16/2006 1:04:57 PM)
quote: You obviously took my posts personally or at least the phrase "true dom" since you have been picking at it since I posted it. The problem isn't so much with the term "true dom" (though I wouldn't use it) -- the problem is that you trot out this mythical twue dom as a way to validate your own opinion and also insult those who don't agree with you by essentially calling them phonies. Just in case this point isn't clear, I'll give you another example of it by saying that I think an intelligent person would not need to inject such a sleazy trick into a debate. That it is an obnoxious way to try to make a point, eh? It injects name calling into the discussion and is essentially nothing more than a cheap tactic to both inflate yourself and diminish someone you disagree with. However there is a difference in our use of it -- there are intelligent people out there but the notion of the twue dom is just gobbledygook.

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