LadyHugs
Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004 Status: offline
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Dear Lashra, Ladies and Gentlemen; Well, I have my share of men who think they were born with a dominant authority once they popped out of the oven. My mind's eye on things, is that the family/parent structure often forms the early years of discipline, respect, compassion and listening. The old family structure of kids should be seen, not heard mentality. So, dominant strength in my lifetime has come from the power of observation and knowing how to do the job better very quietly. My career had me in a hurry up and wait mode, mostly crisis situations where you had to take control period. Working in Washington, DC you're dealing with everything you can imagine. However, bravado isn't wise--but, knowing when to ask for help and waiting until it arrives, even when you're facing a crisis and or life/death event. Because of the time, late 1960's into 1970's, it was most unfriendly for women entering the police forces, the fire department and EMT/ambulance careers. It was also the time where women started into military careers and, where there was white and black men hating each other, when women came in--well, the men formed a confederacy against women. They pulled every dirty trick in the book. They made it twice as hard and we prevailed in great majority. We women had to maintain a higher standard in all respects and perhaps has shaped me into what I am today. Being that I wasn't a super frilly female but, no nonsense in your face but fair woman, I wasn't picked on as much as others who would jump and squeal if a mouse ran across the room or a spider dangled about near them. I also rode and drove horses, did a bit of roping and trick whip work and trick riding, hunted and jumped, did dressage and often rode with the US Park Police equestrian units, in the city limits and outside them. My father, a licensed firearm dealer and repaired weapons for the local police department, I often test fired and was a rather fair shot--enough to qualify for competition shooting. I did archery as well as being an assistant to a wrestling coach in high school, as well as being my father's 'little helper' in maintaining cars. So, when I worked with a bunch of men--I knew at times more than they did and often did it to prove them I could. Most men will shut up when they see a woman is qualified and not collecting lint/dust in a job. But, sadly, there were women who laid their way to success. That didn't help those women who didn't. I worked hard along side of men, be it bales of hay off the fields into the wagon, then into the loft, carrying grain sacks, changing tires, dropping cows for branding and doctoring, sometimes giving them male steers a higher octive when they lost their balls, I've been on arrests and prosecutions, handled cases before the courts and set legal precedences, caused Writs of Mandamus forcing lower courts into doing what they should have and so much more. I've gone into Leather bars and have been spat upon, elbowed, struck and stomped on my feet. Bars were rather rough back then. I stayed polite, respectful and cheerful. I didn't lower myself to the gutter men went into, as to disgrace me. That caught the attention of some serious Leathermen. They didn't see me as a threat, or a tourist, they saw a person on a personal quest. I went back with more knowledge and skills and was supported by those who knew me--I was accepted, protected and treated like gold. I've been absent from one Leather Bar in DC for approximately 11 years. As soon as I entered and those who remembered me went wild with joy seeing me return. Got a lot of looks by those strangers but, going into a Leather Bar that is like a family--they don't forget good people. And, they won't let good people get hurt by idiots. Had one guy I knew, give me a pat on the bum and he nearly got picked up and shoved out of the bar. I soothed things over with the Bar Captain and advised the guy what happened and how close he was to getting ejected. Now he has learned by seeing what 'community/family' is like within the Leathermen's circle. When I have men who just are anti-women on anything at any time, I don't pay them much mind. Once I am known to the majority of men, I am respected for being me, not just respected for what I do or have done. All I need to do is, look in the mirror and know I did the best I can/could honorably and maintaining my dignity in doing so. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs
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