Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Mentor


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Mentor Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Mentor - 9/22/2006 6:07:29 AM   
WetHotGoddess


Posts: 128
Joined: 5/18/2006
Status: offline 		I have read this thread with interest because it seems that my thoughts on mentoring is far different from most.  to me, a mentor is a PEER- that is, one who identifies ith me on my level.  I would not seek to be mentored by a submissive and I would not think it wise for a submissive to be mentored by a Dominant. 

If I need advice, or coaching, I will get it from another dominant.  I think if a dom is mentoring a sub they are likely just playing/topping/fucking around without calling it what it is.

_____________________________

ARIEL

Your opinion is very important to us. Please hold for the next available representative.

"Thinking is for losers"- Bart Simpson

(in reply to spankmepink11)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Mentor - 9/22/2006 6:22:13 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		[/quote]
Yeah, Gawd! How my self confidence and esteem suffers from suggesting that someone seek multiple sources of information rather than hamstring themselves with a single person. What an absolutely stupid thought I had there!
[/quote]

LOL - having a Mentor does not mean that this is the ONLY source of learning that a person has - those are your words, not mine. 

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Mentor - 9/22/2006 7:06:36 AM   
mynded


Posts: 137
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

In my experience and opinion, many (not all) who proclaim to be "Mentors" have their own underlying agenda.When the Mentor is Dominant, and mentoree is submissive.
This is not to say that mentoring does not have it's place.
If i felt the need to be mentored,  i might turn to a fellow submissive who has been in successful, long term, relationships, or one that i simply respect.  If i am partnered with an inexperienced Dominant, i would hope that he would seek advice, or mentoring from One He respected who had experience etc.
Personally, i think the best mentoring takes place in forums such as these.




Agreed!!

(in reply to spankmepink11)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Mentor - 9/22/2006 7:19:54 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		spankmepink11. If you were partnered with an inexperienced Dominate how would you know it. These forums are not ment to Mentor anyone. Did it ever occur to you that the Mentors aganda may be to just inform the person whom he is mentoring.

(in reply to mynded)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Mentor - 9/22/2006 7:29:13 AM   
deltadawn


Posts: 224
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline 		I see nothing wrong with having a Mentor/s.  We all have had someone to look up to in our lives, ask questions of, seek advice from.   I do not consider myself a mentor but I have spent a lot of time talking to younger submissives and have given them advice, in actuality I am doing so right now with a young woman I met through this site.  My Master also has spent a great deal of time with Newer Dominants who has asked for his help.  He has also aided a few submissives who have asked for his guidance. 

Not sure that that makes us mentors, but it does make us friends, and I cannot fathom why being a friend to someone is a bad thing.

dawn 



_____________________________

Beneath his wings, I can fly.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Mentor - 9/22/2006 7:37:35 AM   
WetHotGoddess


Posts: 128
Joined: 5/18/2006
Status: offline 		Yes a mentor should be someone who is trusted and who you can talk to.. A mentor should not say, "come bend over my knee little one and I will teach you how it is done , nor to stand beside another dominant and critique technique. 
Mentors are peers, not playmates.  Friends.. someone who is trusted and admired.
IMHO anyway.

_____________________________

ARIEL

Your opinion is very important to us. Please hold for the next available representative.

"Thinking is for losers"- Bart Simpson

(in reply to deltadawn)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Mentor - 9/22/2006 7:46:36 AM   
Aubre


Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline 		The Mentors were a pretty twisted punk/metal band from the late 70s till 1987 when "El Duce" got hit by a train.

Oh, y'all are talking about a different type of mentor...

(in reply to WetHotGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Mentor - 9/22/2006 8:08:07 AM   
UnvailedPurpose


Posts: 61
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Delta:
Being a friend is not a bad thing, neither is sharing your experiences. Especally, when recognizing many of the less expereinced have no intention of rejecting and/or dismissing the ethics integreties codes of honor or submissive internal forces driving us simply to be accepted and then assimilated into an ambiguously individualized subculture. In fact, most of the less experienced will diligently seek out advice from a wide variety of diverse thinkers and then intellectualize long before internalizing.




\

(in reply to deltadawn)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Mentor - 9/22/2006 3:19:58 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petcerina

i believe that Mentors are very good for beginners, and even good for those who still would like having someone to ask questions to.  However, i would caution that you choose the Mentor carefully, as not only do you need to watch for them trying to collar you, but also realize that you will most likely take on the views that that person has.  i know that this was true for me.


This is a little like being *befriended* ....which is a nice thing and something that lots of people offer in life to others that are *finding their feet* in anything.

If I did choose to have a *mentor* for any reason.......it'd be someone that I had known , watched, spent time with, respected and trusted over a long period of time .......which would rule out choosing one as a *new* person.I simply wouldn't have enough experience to make a good judgement.

agirl






(in reply to petcerina)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 2:21:20 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

If I "mentor" you, I'm trying to Dom you without you realizing it. (I'm going to trademark this line.)


Then simply put, your a bad mentor.  If your more concerned with your conquest, then the sharing of your skills with another, then your not mentoring, your instead taking one under the false pretense and seeking your own gratification from that person's service instead of the reward of having helped another.



I kind of like that. You are getting the idea, ShadowMster.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to ShadowMster)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 2:29:17 PM   
Nimkii


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		I enjoy Mentoring and have been mentored in the past. I see it as a way to share knowladge and grow. A single person can't know and think of everything. Personally I like mentoring people brand new to the lifestyle. They for the most part have a great desire to learn all they can and ask questions. Reminds us that have been in it for a while to remember to ask questions and that this is a life long journey of learning and discovery.

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 2:37:55 PM   
MASTERRocker


Posts: 277
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Kitchener-Waterloo, ON
Status: offline 		Well.. I would disagree.. I have 'mentored' a couple of very beautiful ladies - both university students ; and taught them alot of the ins and outs of the D/.  They were both eager to study and learn; and it was wonderful to see them blossom in confidence and self esteem. They both succeeded in reaching (and passing) their goals.
Being a Master means being able to look beyond Yourself; to give unselfishly to another = their success is My success

(in reply to Nimkii)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 2:45:37 PM   
Nimkii


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		I totally agree. and have taken great pride in seeing how people have grown and gone beyond what i can teach and share with them. A stundent surpassing there student I would think is ever teacher's/mentor's dream

(in reply to MASTERRocker)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 7:40:16 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Personally I don't see the point of a "Mentor"

As a grown up i like to make my own decisions, I've been doing it pretty much since the age of 13 and really i don't want anyone else making them for me unless they own me.

I have a very good freind that I talk to about alot of things but i wouldn't call him a Mentor just a really good friend that has been in the lifestyle a lot longer then me. He is a sounding board for me as I am for Him.

The reason i have an issue with the whole mentor things is i firmly believe people need to stand on their own two feet and be responsible for themselves. Yes people are going to screw up and make mistakes. Welcome to the real world.

When i need advice or if there is something i'm unsure of, such as protocol at certain events i go to whomever i feel has the most information in regards to my questions be they another sub or a Dominant. Some of my best sources of information are from a wonderful bottom and a submissive. Their friendship and insights I find invaluable and would not trade them for a supposed Mentor ever.



_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Nimkii)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 8:02:52 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Back in the beginning, I had a mentor.  She threw me headfirst into the world of BDSM, and then after she was sure I wasnt going to drown she taught me what she thought Id need to know.  As far as I know, the only ulterior motive she had was tat she would have refered I shared more of her opinions on how subs/slaves should be trained and shared, so tat we would have made a successful Domme/Domme couple and been able to keep a house of subs.
I myself have mentored other dominants, as wel as some submissive friends.  Being available as a teacher does not necesarily mean that you make their decisions for them.  The only one I make decisions for is the one I own.  It just means that you give them your opinions on their situatons and if requested you tell them how you would handle things.  Its a useful thing to have access to when your new in the lifestyle for some.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 8:28:25 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Now I'm confused. Some refer to a mentor as someone to go to for advice while others say a mentor is a teacher (which is what I thought the word trainer ment). Is a mentor an advisor or are the words mentor and trainer synonyms?

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 8:34:37 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

It amazes me on far apart peole on here are on certain subjects. Mentoring is one of them. Some people praise them others have nothng good to say about them. Please give me your opinoin on Mentor's


I'm going to assume what you meant;

Mentoring is (in my opinion), everything you needed, when you needed it, sometimes before you needed it, sometimes after, but always at exactly the right time.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 8:37:08 PM   
WhyteRavenne


Posts: 125
Joined: 9/16/2006
Status: offline 		Mentor:
noun



1.
a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.



2.
an influential senior sponsor or supporter. –verb (used without object)



3.
to act as a mentor: She spent years mentoring to junior employees. –verb (used with object)



4.
to act as a mentor to: The brash young executive did not wish to be mentored by anyone.

_____________________________

Last night, you were, unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.... do it again! - Morticia Addams

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 8:40:03 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		WetHot,

Cause there is no get together for such as we, my definition is you suck my cock like a dog licking peanut butter blowjob, all else is converation.

LOL,
Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to WhyteRavenne)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Mentor - 9/25/2006 8:40:25 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		It always comes down to the terms.
Mentor can be either directly a teacher, or it can be just someone to get advice from. Depending on how both parties view it, sometimes, mentoring can be a mix of both.  With my mentor, she gave me advice on everything (vanilla and otherwise) and she also did a fair amount of teaching when there were things i needed to learn.
No need to pigeonhole someone into a definition of a name.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to WhyteRavenne)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Mentor Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094