RE: Question on tribute

RE: Question on tribute (Full Version)

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demistress -> RE: Question on tribute (9/24/2006 3:53:57 PM)
winks at joy That's a line I use with alot of men, but don't worry, I ALWAYS put a helmet on my toys (wether they're electrical, or male).

michaelGA2 -> RE: Question on tribute (9/24/2006 4:01:46 PM)
as it stands, my Block User and Hide User lists get longer and longer each day from all the money grubbers i see on the other side...every time i see the terms "tribute", "Pro" or "Financial", i immediately place those users on those lists...this way i eliminate them completely.

Lorelei115 -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 10:03:16 AM)
You know, I was thinking about this question, and I came up with a couple scenarios. First, I don't like people to buy me things. I think just spending money without thought is not a proof of devotion, its just a proof of how much money you have. If you want to show me devotion, I would rather you do it in word and deed. Or if you aren't good at expressing yourself verbally, then hand make something.. Something that takes a little time and effort. There is one thing, however, that I think makes a perfect "tribute" and that is toys. After all, it makes sense for the submissive to purchase any toys that are going to be used solely on them (ie canes, butt plugs, dildoes, and anything non-sanitizable.) However, it is also gratifying to the Dominant (or to me, at least) to recieve a peice of equipment that we can use over and over. Seeing a submissive kneeling in front of me, offering up a brand new riding crop with which to beat their ass... Ah, brings a tear to my eye. But no, I don't "DEMAND" it. To me, demanding tribute takes away the best aspect of it, which is that the submissive wants to please their Mistress or Master by offering up something of value. In my mind, that is something that should only be done by free will.

GreedyEvilBych -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 10:37:46 AM)
Ive never understood why people care what anyone does? If you dont like Pro dommes, dont look for them, dont read their profile, and dont talk to them, same goes for dommes who require a tribute...99% of the time, its no shocker that they require it, as it is written in their profile. I do not understand why people get so bent out of shape about this?BDSM has been around forever and it isnt going anywhere.. this theory that "people who require tributes are ruining the lifetyle" blah blah blah... we all know that isnt going to happen. Just do not associate with people who do not share the same interests as you and you wont ever have to worry about it.... one thing I am appalled by is the lack of respect in this thread by so called submissives.... calling people whores and other names is just uncalled for. Why would you even lower yourself & discredit yourself by calling someone you dont even know a "whore"? IMO.... any male who claims to be a submissive who believes in female supremacy and then in the same breath calls a woman a whore who he doesnt even know, is totally contradicting himself. Some men actually consider tributing a fetish, as do women... if they enjoy that fetish then why not let them enjoy it? its no different than scat, or cbt...not everyone has to like it or agree with it, but who are we to judge each other for it?

demistress -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 10:59:32 AM)
Something occurred to me here.... there's a side we haven't heard, the side of the male sub who DOES want to tribute. I mean, clearly they're out there, pro-domme would not continue to exist if they weren't. So why aren't they here voicing their opinion? Well, mainly because they really aren't "part" of the lifestyle, they don't participate in boards like this, sure they buy femdom porn, and read the occasional story, but sites like this interfere with their "objectification" of the mistress. Ironically, it's our very human tendancies, our 'lifestyle approach" that turns them off. As has been mentioned by numerous other posters, the vast majority of the pro-domme clients are WANNA-CALL-THEMSELVES-Subs (they're not even WANNABES) They are in it only for their own immediate sexual gratification. They do not want serve, to submit, or any of that, they just want to experience the sensation, it's a game, and the goal is an orgasm (then or later) and a memory to jack off to for the rest of their lives. Again, it comes down to it being work vs pleasure/life fulfillment. I am a lifestyle domme, I run my home as a tight ship, I was a VANILLA (read no kink, just running the show, and being obeyed) dom-wife for about 5 years. And I suppose I could be close minded and tell those men who seek to be beaten and take my strap that they should go have a whore do it, but who does that help? The whore doesn't know how to dominate, may not know how to safely beat, will not take care to properly fuck the guy's ass, and chances are either she won't enjoy it, or she'll enjoy it too much, either way, he's probably not going to get the experience he sought. She's going to have to work alot harder because it's not her specialty. **Sidenote I think prostitution should be legalized, taxed, and regulated, and I DO pay taxes on my tribute income through my other businesses because I think it's the right thing to do. Mistress Heather www.mizzspice.net

michaelGA2 -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 11:05:11 AM)
maybe they do not wish to be degraded or make themselves targets for hate-messages... not that i would, personally. i'll leave it at that.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 11:34:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantLady Why are we all arguing amonst ourselves? Who is to say what is right and what is wrong? If a Domme wants to ask for a tribute to prove that someone is genuine and generous then what difference does it make to anyone apart from the two of them? The original argument came over the idea of a female dominant demanding tribute upfront without ever having met the submissive or engaging in any sort of interaction. I would ask you the same question in reverse...if a male dominant were to ask for a tribute from the female submissive...let's say that she pays for drinks and/or dinner or his travel expenses to come see her...to prove her genuine desire for submission and that she can be generous and giving to a dominant, what would your opinion be of the male dominant in this instance?

raiken -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 12:29:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantLady Why are we all arguing amonst ourselves? Who is to say what is right and what is wrong? If a Domme wants to ask for a tribute to prove that someone is genuine and generous then what difference does it make to anyone apart from the two of them? The original argument came over the idea of a female dominant demanding tribute upfront without ever having met the submissive or engaging in any sort of interaction. I would ask you the same question in reverse...if a male dominant were to ask for a tribute from the female submissive...let's say that she pays for drinks and/or dinner or his travel expenses to come see her...to prove her genuine desire for submission and that she can be generous and giving to a dominant, what would your opinion be of the male dominant in this instance? For me, that would depend on who had the financial means and who didn't, and the mutual consideration of such situations between the two involved. There are some who may view this to be less than honorable for a dominant to ask for financial generosity of a submissive, (if in fact) the dominant knows that the submissive could not truly afford to be that generous. If such a thing were still asked by the dominant after being made aware of the subs finances, i would consider the possibility that the dominant is already not looking out for the well fare of the sub in this respect, if it were to cause a financial hardship. On the other hand, there are those doms who use this as their own sort of test. As in measuring the subs willingness to comply and as an indicator of how serious the sub is in meeting said dominant. The few doms i know who have in fact done this, have surprised the sub by offering to reimburse. To me that is honorable and both parties were mutually fulfilled in the transaction. For me, it seems to come down to what one is willing to sacrifice for another, a partner, and/or to have their dreams brought to reality, etc. In this aspect, there is no right or wrong, just differences of how we each pursue what we want and the measures we are willing to use to get it.

joyinslavery -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 2:05:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyEvilBych Ive never understood why people care what anyone does? If you dont like Pro dommes, dont look for them, dont read their profile, and dont talk to them, same goes for dommes who require a tribute...99% of the time, its no shocker that they require it, as it is written in their profile. I do not understand why people get so bent out of shape about this?BDSM has been around forever and it isnt going anywhere.. this theory that "people who require tributes are ruining the lifetyle" blah blah blah... we all know that isnt going to happen. Just do not associate with people who do not share the same interests as you and you wont ever have to worry about it.... one thing I am appalled by is the lack of respect in this thread by so called submissives.... calling people whores and other names is just uncalled for. Why would you even lower yourself & discredit yourself by calling someone you dont even know a "whore"? IMO.... any male who claims to be a submissive who believes in female supremacy and then in the same breath calls a woman a whore who he doesnt even know, is totally contradicting himself. Some men actually consider tributing a fetish, as do women... if they enjoy that fetish then why not let them enjoy it? its no different than scat, or cbt...not everyone has to like it or agree with it, but who are we to judge each other for it? Please don't confuse my identification as a submissive to mean I am submissive to you. If you make that mistake, as some have, you'll quickly learn that my submission is given to my Dominant ONLY. You calling yourself a dominant gets you no points here. You'll have to do better than a self-appointed title to earn respect from me. I suggest you go back and read my posts again. And why do I care? Just because.

CherieP -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 2:19:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: joyinslavery Congratulations. Now that we have that cleared up... Edited because I need a spelling tutor. double-eyeroll Right, now that we have that cleared up, and we have all been reminded that joyinslavery has a problem with whores, might anyone care to post an answer to my question? {I know we've travelled pretty far away from the original poster's question, but it is an interesting discussion for the most part. :p} Ms. Pandora, (and any other women out there who provide sexual services of any sort for pay), does it bother you that there's this insistence on lumping all women who provide paid services into the class of liars, scammers, and cheats? Do you find that this is common in your real-life interactions in the kinky community, or do you think it's mostly a feature of the online world?

CherieP -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 2:45:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: demistress Something occurred to me here.... there's a side we haven't heard, the side of the male sub who DOES want to tribute. I mean, clearly they're out there, pro-domme would not continue to exist if they weren't. So why aren't they here voicing their opinion? Well, mainly because they really aren't "part" of the lifestyle, they don't participate in boards like this, sure they buy femdom porn, and read the occasional story, but sites like this interfere with their "objectification" of the mistress. Ironically, it's our very human tendancies, our 'lifestyle approach" that turns them off. As has been mentioned by numerous other posters, the vast majority of the pro-domme clients are WANNA-CALL-THEMSELVES-Subs (they're not even WANNABES) They are in it only for their own immediate sexual gratification. They do not want serve, to submit, or any of that, they just want to experience the sensation, it's a game, and the goal is an orgasm (then or later) and a memory to jack off to for the rest of their lives. Again, it comes down to it being work vs pleasure/life fulfillment. I am a lifestyle domme, I run my home as a tight ship, I was a VANILLA (read no kink, just running the show, and being obeyed) dom-wife for about 5 years. And I suppose I could be close minded and tell those men who seek to be beaten and take my strap that they should go have a whore do it, but who does that help? The whore doesn't know how to dominate, may not know how to safely beat, will not take care to properly fuck the guy's ass, and chances are either she won't enjoy it, or she'll enjoy it too much, either way, he's probably not going to get the experience he sought. She's going to have to work alot harder because it's not her specialty. *Sidenote I think prostitution should be legalized, taxed, and regulated, and I DO pay taxes on my tribute income through my other businesses because I think it's the right thing to do. Mistress Heather www.mizzspice.net Interestingly, I find that I often lose potential clients because I am a bit TOO realistic, honest, and open. I don't jump right in and play the "cruel bitch goddess", demanding tribute before I get to know them at all and acting as if their satisfaction is completely unimportant to me. I also found your description of how you came to this interesting, as it mirrors my own. I identified as a submissive for most of my sexual life, and it was only after a bad (not dreadful, just unpleasant) experience with a MALE pro-dom (yes they do exist) that I realized I was, in fact, dominating everyone around me in every way but* sexual. ( I would describe myself as a southern-matriarch-in-training. [:D] ) I decided to "own up" to my own dominance instead of struggling against it, and my life has been continually (albiet gradually) improving ever since. That's also about the same time as I decided to take the plunge into sex work, and since then I have done phone sex, worn panty & hosiery sales, webcamming, online sissy training (both paid and not), and even a touch of good old fashioned whoring. But my main line (and main love in the adult biz) is just running my paysite. And btw, I too pay my taxes...on income from both my vanilla and my fetish clients.

CherieP -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 2:55:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant I would ask you the same question in reverse...if a male dominant were to ask for a tribute from the female submissive...let's say that she pays for drinks and/or dinner or his travel expenses to come see her...to prove her genuine desire for submission and that she can be generous and giving to a dominant, what would your opinion be of the male dominant in this instance? Assuming he was upfront with her from the start, and not pretending to a "true love" type committment that he had no intention of honoring, I would say more power to him...and more importantly, more power to HER. I think it would be a very good thing if more women availed themselves of the services of male sexual service providers. They DO exist, nice women are just not supposed to know about them or ever dare to use them.

joyinslavery -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 3:55:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CherieP double-eyeroll Right, now that we have that cleared up, and we have all been reminded that joyinslavery has a problem with whores, might anyone care to post an answer to my question? {I know we've travelled pretty far away from the original poster's question, but it is an interesting discussion for the most part. :p} Ms. Pandora, (and any other women out there who provide sexual services of any sort for pay), does it bother you that there's this insistence on lumping all women who provide paid services into the class of liars, scammers, and cheats? Do you find that this is common in your real-life interactions in the kinky community, or do you think it's mostly a feature of the online world? Who's lumping all women who provide paid services together? It's not me. But, let's be honest with each other and call a thing what it is. After all, the worst lie is the lie we tell ourselves. :)

NastyDaddy -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 4:06:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CherieP (I would describe myself as a southern-matriarch-in-training. [:D] ) I decided to "own up" to my own dominance instead of struggling against it, and my life has been continually (albiet gradually) improving ever since. That's also about the same time as I decided to take the plunge into sex work, and since then I have done phone sex, worn panty & hosiery sales, webcamming, online sissy training (both paid and not), and even a touch of good old fashioned whoring. But my main line (and main love in the adult biz) is just running my paysite. And btw, I too pay my taxes...on income from both my vanilla and my fetish clients. A real Forrest Gump of BDSM.... that's very touching and equally as funny. I love the rationale, I am dominant because I have a paysite and have worked as a phone sex operator and a whore... but don't call my economic based evolution and BDSM self-awareness what it is, a business... then I take the old aggressive defensive stance. Don't be talkin' bad bout Bubba Gump BDSM! Online predators come in many forms, including financial predators... explaining your guts out won't provide validation to financial predatory parasites. Here is simply the "supply and demand" aspect, glorified.... it's "who I realized am", once I figured out the "perceived need" for "who I could be"... or simply put, "the means following the end". Demanding tribute from perfect strangers based on "who you think you are as a FemDom"... or "how special you think you are as a FemDom" is mucking-up/perverting FemDom roles. Sadly, the parasitic behavior of many will in fact tarnish the genuine efforts and presences of others in the FemDom role. As a MaleDom, should collarme become infested or over run with counterpart pimps looking to fill their stables of whores, or MaleDoms demanding tribute... and their parasitic behaviors (and lifestyle involvement) started perverting my MaleDom role, then I would be against their presence in a big way. Their presence does exist, but has not become a flagship model for MaleDoms and of course MaleDom wannabes who find easy pickings in their recreational adaptative association to BDSM. The key factor in the MaleDom side is the oft advised and understood elements of relationships being based on trust and knowledge of the other... not merely on dollars. Each comment from the tribute barnstormers gets more entertaining... please don't stop even though you are wasting your valuable time in providing a free service by sacrificing the potential income generating time it takes to explain away the tools and mechanisms of online income generation (I'm so dense!). The next trend will be the accelerated self-awareness advancement/evolution into Online ProDomme (OPD)... to squeeze the worthless wankers who expect something for nothing from someone pretending to be a FemDom... excuse me... OPD in training.

NastyDaddy -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 4:22:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyEvilBych Why would you even lower yourself & discredit yourself by calling someone you dont even know a "whore"? Because here in the message board it's free and if one wishes to wank then that also is free. On the other hand, "Why would you even lower yourself & discredit yourself by calling someone you dont even know a "worthless wanker", a "piggy", a "money whore", a "money slut".... and similar fruity terms of endearment? quote: IMO.... any male who claims to be a submissive who believes in female supremacy and then in the same breath calls a woman a whore who he doesnt even know, is totally contradicting himself. But yet demanding tribute from someone you don't even know is admirable, and defenseable.... and mucked-up perversion. We had an interesting comment in another thread which illustrated that all women are not "Super I Are"... that supremacy within females is reflected by multi-orgasmic capability... if you can orgasm more than once then that meant you are superior. How could any male sub who does not know you... or has never sent you tribute... know whether you truely are superior, that you are multi-orgasmic... and avoid calling you a whore? Tough job and call there... It's a good thing that you're not one of those type that believes that anyone who claims to ID as a dominant is therefore one. quote: Some men actually consider tributing a fetish, as do women... if they enjoy that fetish then why not let them enjoy it? its no different than scat, or cbt...not everyone has to like it or agree with it, but who are we to judge each other for it? Some men think playing on the first meet, or playing online before negotiating a dollar amount on the first communication is a fetish.... in the same token, why all the fuss about those types of male predators?

NastyDaddy -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 4:39:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CherieP {going off on a bit of a tangent here...} MisPandora, I would not call myself a pro-dom because I am such a novice in many things (a fact which I also make very clear in my profile etc). But like you I am not interested in "raping" anybody's wallet...I strive to provide good value for whatever money I am paid, and I certainly don't expect to be paid what a sub might shell out to see a REAL pro-dom. Which is why it bugs the hell out of me when people make blanket declarations about whether any dominant woman should *ever* be asking for tribute, or insist that she's a scammer, liar, whore etc based on the simple fact that she does. Does this bother you as well? Or do you find that most people understand that there's not really a clear-cut line between the "pro" and the "lifestyle"? In this logic we have cut-rate pricing in effect because the fee charging dominant is NOT a Pro... and has just recently become aware of her "twue role" in the lifestyle.... variable costs for variable qualifications... interesting indeed. Wannabes and unqualified sincere dominants are honorably operating with lower costs for their services.... hmmm. Many people do realize there is NOT a clear-cut line between Pro and lifestyler... other than the fact most Pro Dommes ID as Pro Dommes. However, it does make a perfect environment for posers, wannabes and scammers... they have filled-in that grey area in rather steadily increasing numbers. A common trait among them is the more they come, the funnier they get... their first defense is often chastising a malesub for calling a money whore a money whore... and demanding respect as well as tribute from strangers. Parasites should NOT be called whores... after all, that's an insult to real whores, who in fact are indeed very special.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 5:37:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CherieP quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant I would ask you the same question in reverse...if a male dominant were to ask for a tribute from the female submissive...let's say that she pays for drinks and/or dinner or his travel expenses to come see her...to prove her genuine desire for submission and that she can be generous and giving to a dominant, what would your opinion be of the male dominant in this instance? Assuming he was upfront with her from the start, and not pretending to a "true love" type committment that he had no intention of honoring, I would say more power to him...and more importantly, more power to HER. I think it would be a very good thing if more women availed themselves of the services of male sexual service providers. They DO exist, nice women are just not supposed to know about them or ever dare to use them. That's great from the professional level and on a professional level, I would agree with you. But the question was coming from the perspective of the original question which dealt with female dominants who are NOT professional. Therefore, my question would concern a male dominant who was not professional.

CherieP -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 8:15:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy I love the rationale, I am dominant because I have a paysite and have worked as a phone sex operator and a whore... but don't call my economic based evolution and BDSM self-awareness what it is, a business... {snip} Demanding tribute from perfect strangers based on "who you think you are as a FemDom"... or "how special you think you are as a FemDom" is mucking-up/perverting FemDom roles. Sadly, the parasitic behavior of many will in fact tarnish the genuine efforts and presences of others in the FemDom role. No, I am a dominant female because I am a dominant female. Whether I have a paysite, have worked as a whore, etc has no bearing on that, except insofar as I have come to this line of work and come to my awareness of my dominance as part of the same general growth process. Would you insist with the same vehemence that say, a male sub's job as the CEO of a large corporation must preclude their being a "real" submissive? Also, if you will go back and actually use your ability to read and comprehend instead of just being needlessly snarky, you will note that I very much do NOT demand money for nothing from total strangers, nor do I present myself as being anything I am not. I am quite skilled in some areas, have no illusions about my lacks in others, take plenty of time to get to know my prospectives for no charge whatsoever, and basically am just trying to meet my various needs - both personal and material - in the same way that any other person might whose life is more complex than the cut-and-dried, "I knew what I was doing from the time I was born" type of person you apparantly think everyone into BDSM ought to be. I will leave it to the readers to determine for themselves which of us is tarnishing the genuine efforts of others in the community.

marieToo -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 8:36:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong I don't object to the practice, I object to the term "tribute". Call a fee a fee. Exactly. And let's stop pretending that it is anything else but a fee. They can't. I dont know all the state laws, but I would imagine prostitution is illegal in most of the states. So if they go and charge a fee and have a set rate, wouldn't they be incriminating themselves? Taking a gift/tribute, or even demanding one, I think, is different legally than take greenbacks for the service. I could be wrong, but this crossed my mind as a possible reason.

trannysub007 -> RE: Question on tribute (9/25/2006 8:50:35 PM)
"Please don't confuse my identification as a submissive to mean I am submissive to you. If you make that mistake, as some have, you'll quickly learn that my submission is given to my Dominant ONLY. You calling yourself a dominant gets you no points here. You'll have to do better than a self-appointed title to earn respect from me." joyinslavery, post #88 not meant to be a reply to joy, but a general observation. Being respectful and being submissive are two things that do not necessarily have to happen at the same time. A person can post a message that is respectful, even while totally disagreeing with the other person, and never submit to that person at all. There are prescious few Dominants who have posted on these boards that i would consider submitting to. Not that i'm super sub, or anything special anyone should desire as a sub. But based on what i have read here by many of Dominants, they lack any ability to be courteous or respectful. As if, in order to be a Dom/me, One must be a jerk. Yeah, so anyway, you can be respectful to everyone and submit to none. i was under the impression that BDSM included mutual respect, at least to a point. Whatever; even the disrespectful, snarky ones occasionally post something of value .... most of them, anyway.

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