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Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 1:09:56 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		A few weeks ago i was being a total brat i don't know why i was i am usually Masters good girl, i was just in a mood.  I must say Master was very patient with me though i came very close to getting the strap he told me later. 
He asked me to do something and i said no, then he orderd me to do it and i still said no.  He had me lie on my belly amd i though for sure i was going to get a spanking but instead he talked to me i could tell he was dissponted in me and he asked me what i should have said and what should he do about it and things like that.I would have perfered a spanking (even though i hate pain)  to  hearing the disspointment in his voice we got past it thought and everything is great again  man do i love him.

My question is how many subs want the talk and how many would prefer the corporal punishment.

I know there are links on this but i want some new responses i don't want to reread the old ones.

Matt's littleone
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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 1:14:40 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I think everyone wants C) None of the above :)

I think if a dom wants to actualize long term behavioral change, talking is a necessary component throughout that process.  Doms who rely solely on physical punishment often find themselves very frustrated, with a confused and unhappy sub as well.

However, whether any specific incident requires an immediate smack on the ass, or a serious discussion depends on the incident context itself. 

I'd think a slave would want to most efficiently understand and change their behavior accordingly, and understand that it might take a combination of methods to do so. 

But generally, I think most slaves prefer being talked to and discussed to come to an understanding rather than always being beaten- even if it means a little more pain in the beginning.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 9/22/2006 1:15:34 PM >

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 1:25:25 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I know what you are saying lucky but i hate hearing dispointment in his voice a spanking is quick get it over with done good.  Master actually likes the talk to the spanking but evey once in a while i know i deserve a spanking and i get it that not a bad thing.  Master does not "beat" me but a deserved spanking he will deliver  (notice i said a deserved spanking.)  Diferent things work better with different subs.  Master has discovered that he does not has to use corporal punishment much on me talking works very well.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 2:09:49 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I think I need both. I certainly need to be communicated with when I have done something worng that might not be totally obvious or if I think it was justified so we both understand what and if there was a why and how decent was the why and this is certainly critical in the long run for trust purposes. I though also want some type of punishment whether corporal or something like corner time just to re-enforce, penance and discipline purposes.

Now infractions that happen like an improper attitude or something that just happens sometimes but is not a bad habit then I do not feel talking is needed. A swift punishment is all that is needed.

What though is really is important that my Master is consistent and similar infractions are dealt with in a similar fashion and we both know what to expect.

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 2:47:45 PM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Master perfers to talk to this slave. More often than not there is an underlying issue that this slave is just not ready to discuss or face which causes misbehavior; by forcing this slave to talk about it, Master is able to get to the actual problem instead of just glossing over it.
 
However, once the actual issue is faced and discussed, Master then disciplines , which is something that this slave really hates.

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 3:37:09 PM   
subsa


Posts: 196
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		punishment for me is not being spanked.  that's one of the things i like so that would only encourage misbehavior.  mostly we talk (or He talks and i listen).  we discuss the whys of my behavior...am i upset about something, is it hormonal etc...if i've done something really bad (like refusing a direct order) i get ignored.  that's worse for me than the talking.  i don't like to hear the disappointment in his voice, but to not hear him at all, or to not be allowed in the same room is real punishment.  so if i had to pick between being ignored and a talking to, i'd pick the talking to hands down. of course if i was given the option, i'd pick the spanking.  

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 4:45:51 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		I hate being ignored but the absolute worst is when He looks into my eyes and i see His disappointment.  Has happened seldom but when it does it crushes the behavior quickly.

diamond

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 4:57:46 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: diamonddreamlove
I hate being ignored but the absolute worst is when He looks into my eyes and i see His disappointment.  Has happened seldom but when it does it crushes the behavior quickly.

diamond

The answer that subs give 99% of the time when asked "What's the worst punishment" is "being ignored/knowing I've disappointed."

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 5:25:54 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		This is a direct quote from Thorns.....and quite fitting.
quote:

I take no pleasure in issuing punishments.  I believe that most infractions can be fixed with communication.  If I don't like what a girl did, or how she did it..I will tell her so.  I dont need to take her across my knee to get my point across.  Once she has been told, however... I expect that she would do it correctly as soon as possible.  If not, there may be larger problems to deal with.


While i will cop to "pushing"  Him from time to time, or i have completely spun out of focus due to the world as we know it....i know full well that when He gets THAT voice, life is not good at the moment for me.  I feel sad that i have disappointed Him, and i feel stupid because i know what the right thing to do is, and i chose to be a brat about it.  While i cringe at the thought of Him having those kinds of discussions with me, they do set me right back where i need to be.
At this point, all i can do is thank Him.

~smilezz~



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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 5:37:04 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

I think I need both.



Most of the time I do both. The talking comes first, to make sure that he "gets it," and is truly sorry. Then comes the physical punishment, his penance, so he can put it behind him and start fresh.

(Not wanting to hijack with a religious thread, but it's pretty obvious how I was raised.)

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a.k.a. "mean Lady"


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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 5:40:32 PM   
cherishableslave


Posts: 22
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Hello there, i usually get both from Master, it is the talk He tells me what i did and why i am being punished, then the punishment comes. However i would Never Ever Tell my Master No Under Any Circumstances. Wow i can't even begin to think of what He would do to me if i told Him no, i would most likely smacked and locked in the closet for a few hours, or be chained to the bed on the floor while he goes somwhere. Anyways i would never tell my Master No, it just isn'y my place, if i am told to do somthing from my Master i do it, End Of Report.

                                                          Sincerely Ryboom's lil slave

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 6:06:32 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		If I had to choose one I  would choose to have the talking over the corporal punishment. Granted taking the pain of a spanking would be easier in many ways. I hate to disappoint him and having him talk to me because I have misbehaved is always painful. However, what comes from the talking is a clearer understanding of my place as his submissive and a deeper bonding between us.

I have only received a corporal punishment twice and while it hurt like hell and I hated it. The pain I felt at having hurt and disappoint him by my actions is something I try very hard to not repeat. So far so good, but like you littleone I have my days where keeping my mouth shut seems awfully difficult.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 6:53:26 PM   
deltadawn


Posts: 224
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline 		We talk here.  It is what works for us.  If I am acting out there is usually a reason and talking about it brings us to the source very quickly. 

dawn

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/22/2006 8:20:43 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer to not require any punishment at all.  But there are times when I do.  Punishment fits the infraction.  Sometimes it is just talking, sometimes it is severely talking, but there is always talking.  It will always result in an assignment for me to analyze what occurred and why, too.  And depending on the infraction, it could very well include corporal punishment.

Displeasing him is pretty horrible in any circumstance.

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 9/23/2006 7:03:24 AM   
narcissa


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/13/2006
Status: offline 		i do like to understand exactly where i have gone wrong. Sometimes its hard to ask, because the fact i have done wrong is almost good enough, and my head is hanging so low.  Trusting him to know that a punishment is required is part of the trust that grows between you, especially if your not sure what you have done or how its wrong.  But if you do not understand your punishment you cannot learn from it.  So yes talking is essential.

i think the hardest thing is to understand that you havent trusted or understood your Dominant to have your interests at heart.  That after all the time and energy they have put in you can be so quick to doubt and behave badly.  So i feel bad that i have repaid him so badly.

Corporal meets a need to atone and a reminder.  Personally i have a great fear of punishments.  Both the displeasure and corporal.  i believe this in some part to be due to the fact i have had hands raised to me in anger.  Still some fears are hard to leave.  Hopefully oneday i wont be afraid of making anyone angry, because i know they wont strike me in anger.  i do understand that this isnt part of domination, it shows a lack of self control, but like i said some fears are hard to leave behind.


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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 1/12/2007 8:17:03 PM   
blinkingababy


Posts: 34
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline 		Physical punihment is not as bad as the emotional punsishment, i would rather be spanked than ignored

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 1/12/2007 9:41:13 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

My question is how many subs want the talk and how many would prefer the corporal punishment.



I have never been spanked by my Daddy to discipline me. He will talk to me. I am not saying I am above telling him no, or any other displeasing behavior, but it has not happened yet and I do not intend to let it happen. He is more likely to tell me I am grounded off the internet or that I cannot do some other activity I get pleasure from, than he is to hit me.

I would probably prefer the spanking. Not that I would enjoy it, but it would not last as long as being grounded from the computer for a month or something. I have not had more than a stern talking to so far, and that was not for disobedience, it was for letting someone else into my head in a negative way and allowing that person to control me... he is the only one that controls me... period.

So, did you learn more from the "talking to", or would a spanking have been more effective in changing your behavior.

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 1/12/2007 11:17:50 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		The only time I can remember being in any real trouble with Master, he kneeled me in the middle of the room and walked around and around me talking quite firmly to me. It had its impact....however I cannot remember what the incident was about now, so that could be a bad thing lol.

Sometimes when i don't move fast enough, he doesnt sit me down and talk to me but might pinch me or slap me, just to get my attention, its quick and over with quick.

If I spend without asking, he will cease my spending at all. he has done that a few times with ebay.

Sometimes when he trains me in stuff  and this stuff can have nothing to do with sexuality..and mostly isnt anything to do with sexuality....he has used his cane. Like when he told me how he wanted the stove and sink cleaned everyday, he would instruct me, get me to do it as he has said, then use his cane....he has also trained me privately in martial arts that way...I find that effective...its not that I'm getting in trouble...its just..I dunno...the dynamic is there somehow and it works for me.

Edited to add: I was just thinking, I think some part of me enjoyed that kneeling being talked to thing, I think because it showed he cared enough to spend the time on me..or something(of course every other part of me was distraught I displeased him so much).

< Message edited by slavejali -- 1/12/2007 11:22:17 PM >

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 1/12/2007 11:58:00 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

The only time I can remember being in any real trouble with Master, he kneeled me in the middle of the room and walked around and around me talking quite firmly to me.


This would have such an intense effect on me, Jali.  My Master has done something similar when I wasn't in trouble; I can only imagine if I were.  Wow.

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RE: Talking Vs Corporal Punishment - 1/13/2007 12:33:57 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		i think that talking is a much more effective punishment. although i find pain a pleasurable experience, he could probably push it to the point that it would actually feel like a real punishment to me, rather than discipline or play punishment...but to invoke the feelings of disappointment and the knowledge that i've really done something wrong, all it takes is a look or a word, which can often reduce me to tears. i -hate- disappointing him.

i don't know which i'd prefer, really. but i know that as far as punishment goes, the talking is much more an effective and straightforward tool where i am concerned. the mere -sound- of disappointment in me in someone's voice is very hard for me to deal with and definitely achieves the intended purpose, i think (to affect a recognition of the issue and a change in behavior).  

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