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punishment - 9/22/2006 10:33:25 PM   
sassiefire


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/27/2006
Status: offline 		ok, here' the deal, i made a horrible mistake which I am ashamed of. (hindsight is 20-20) I was talking to Master,he said he decided to quit smoking again. He had quit before and gone back and was ready to quit again. In my infinite wisdom, I called him a dumbass for starting back smoking instead of being proud of him for deciding to quit again. Dumbass.... uh... wrong thing to say under any circumstances. omg as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I was looking at the ground with my hand over my mouth. Part of my punishment is to post this and ask, "If your slave did this, how would you punish her/him?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: punishment - 9/22/2006 10:37:30 PM   
hypnoticblue


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline 		*must... control... quirky... sense... of... humor....*

Okay I can't. 

I would buy her lots and lots of flowers and candy and take her to a movie. 

/end humor

(in reply to sassiefire)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: punishment - 9/22/2006 10:41:25 PM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline 		By apologizing for having an ego too big to take constructive criticism.

(in reply to sassiefire)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: punishment - 9/22/2006 10:54:11 PM   
Sabastianaa


Posts: 20
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		Fact ... you made a mistake (oops it happends )
secondly .. Realistically each person has their personal views , My sub does not like Me killing Myself with the addictive issues of smoking and it was hard too quit smoking the 2nd time around and the facts remain I was a dumbass too allow My issues with My personal life or the goings on around Me affect My common sense thinking and begin smoking the 2nd time around , It was harder too quit because your body then craves it even more , I personally cannot see the point in punishing somone for voiceing their thoughts about something as important as their loved ones health and Maybe just Maybe they should think about their reasoning behind starting back up to begin with (obviously  ).. but at least you where sorry about it ,,, My friends are a bit more ruthless lol

(in reply to sassiefire)
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RE: punishment - 9/22/2006 11:30:00 PM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline 		I can't see punishing someone for caring enough to point out my failings to me as well-even if it was not couched in the most respectful of terms.

(in reply to Sabastianaa)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: punishment - 9/22/2006 11:32:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'd have a serious talk with them about what words and ways of expressing themselves were appropriate and not and give you the opportunity to try and express yourself again.

Hell actually, I'd probably just ask you to explain what you meant and end up agreeing with you in this particular context.

But then I've had some fairly relaxed relationships with owners- they knew that caring about the intent and intimacy of the situation was far more important than putting on airs and "slave speak."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sassiefire)
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RE: punishment - 9/22/2006 11:36:56 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		You should have called him "dumbass Sir".

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Boycott Whales!

(in reply to sassiefire)
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RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 1:33:15 AM   
WinterWolf


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline 		All of these are opinions of course. Mine is this. If you were told previously about what words to use and how to voice youself respectfully, then you do deserve some punishment.  I think you should be able to voice your opinion, concerns, and feelings, but why would you be disrespectfull  to someone you care about?
I have quit smoking before, had a hard time and started again for a short time, and decided to take control back and stop again  (Sabastianaa). Many of my friends have gone through similar things, doing something like telling them they are a dumbass or a fuck up or something like that is not constructive (Frank01). Remember everyone deserves encouragement, regardless of position in a relationship.
Just like you are not a dumbass for making a mistake.  I agree with Estring . Funny but true.

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 1:44:33 AM   
Avrilkiller


Posts: 45
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline 		Uh, Frank....
i hardly see 'dumbass' as "contructive criticism" O.o
Not that i don't always have this inner battle not to defend other subs, but...
what you got sounds about right to me.

(in reply to WinterWolf)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 4:46:01 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Under the circumstances, all I could do is shake my head going "Yeah, you're right. I never should have started again and earned a dumbass point for it." I wouldn't punish you for telling me how you feel better or worse on my character. Honesty is important and there's nothing wrong with a sub being upset of there doms actions every now and then. Anger has to be expressed or it will eat you from the inside out.  

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(in reply to sassiefire)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 6:17:07 AM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		As a sub i would have slipped and said exactly the same thing.  Would i have received punishment from my (favorite) Dom.  Absolutely and would have prayed that the nipple stayed, "thank You Sir".  Right or wrong is His decision to punish or not to punish.  (as an exsmoker i know how hard it is to quit, did it for 6 yrs met my first vanilla husband and started again, now have 12 yrs smoke free and would hope someone cared enough to call me a dumbass should i start again.)

diamond

< Message edited by diamonddreamlove -- 9/23/2006 6:18:55 AM >

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"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 8:53:44 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sassiefire

ok, here' the deal, i made a horrible mistake which I am ashamed of. (hindsight is 20-20) I was talking to Master,he said he decided to quit smoking again. He had quit before and gone back and was ready to quit again. In my infinite wisdom, I called him a dumbass for starting back smoking instead of being proud of him for deciding to quit again. Dumbass.... uh... wrong thing to say under any circumstances. omg as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I was looking at the ground with my hand over my mouth. Part of my punishment is to post this and ask, "If your slave did this, how would you punish her/him?


This for me is a perfect reason of why I don't have much use for punishment in general.

Yes  a mistake was made.... But the mistake was only in expressing an good opinion in an inappropriate manner.

personally... my response would of been to ask the girl... "Was that the appropriate manner to express your opinion?"

I would only accept a "Yes" or "NO" answer... cutting off any attempt to explain etc.

Then ask..."So what is the appropriate manner to express your opinion"

IE "Sir, I think it was a mistake that you starting smoking again"  

my response could of been.... "YES your right, it was a mistake"


The point is... this was an opportunity to correct inappropriate behavior and reward the girl for good judgement.

Punishment gets focused on what the person did wrong... and my big concern for most people in the manner they handle punishment is they send wrong signals.

in this example... the girl could transfer the mistake of stating "dumbass"  and make it "I shouldn't express my opinion".  There was nothing wrong with her opinion... Just the manner it was delivered.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to sassiefire)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 10:57:00 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Write fifty times "I will not call him a dumbass again".  Next time just say that wasn't the brightest thing he's ever done.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 12:17:06 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Ten lashes with a cane. Trust me you wont forget again.

*wanders off still rubbing her butt in memory*

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I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 12:32:57 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		He'd probably crack up laughing, then tell me I wasn't being supportive. I'd feel crappy for being unsupportive, appologize, and do my best to help him quit for good.

So, punishment? Feel bad for a bit about critizing as opposed to supporting, and go out of your way to make help him quit.

In my book, this isnt' really that big of a deal. Maybe not the politest way to say something, but it takes practice to always be polite. It isn't like you...I dunno...started smoking again after he'd told -you- to quit. That'd be a bigger deal in my book.


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(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 12:51:22 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		How about an essay of no less than 1,000 words, based on research citing examples of what you can do, as a partner, to be supportive in assisting your Master to quit.  Ensure you have plenty of ideas on how to distract when he has the urge to smoke and ways you can incorporate daily activities to help encourage him.  There are plenty of ideas ono the Internet and it may be a positive way to take some time for you to reflect on how your delivery was inappropriate but also gives you a way to be constructive and useful.



_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 12:59:16 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

You should have called him "dumbass Sir".


lmaoooo

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 1:04:31 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I don't have any suggestions to answer your question with. 

But I have saved this link in my favorites.  Im an ex smoker.  This piece helped me alot...I mean...alot.  I hope you pass it along to him. 


WhyQuit - Nicotine Withdrawal and Recovery Symptoms

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 1:59:21 PM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Ten lashes with a cane. Trust me you wont forget again.

*wanders off still rubbing her butt in memory*


That is appropriate.
 
~J


_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: punishment - 9/23/2006 6:58:56 PM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline 		As One who is a disciplinarian, I also advocate mutual respect at all times.. However, depending on the tone and keeping in mind we all make mistakes, I 'may' let that type of infraction go with a written lesson.. on the other hand, if I thought it was condescending youd get your ass beat

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to LordODiscipline)
Profile   Post #: 20
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