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Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/24/2006 5:24:52 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I have always thought asking in general if Mistresses like (insert subject here) was a ridiculous thing.  Thats like asking if Women like Ice cream or if Men prefer long hair.


No thanks on the ice cream, yes please on long haired subbie boys especially if they are wearing pointy ears and a well cut leather jerkin with those short Celtic wrap pants that shows a flash of thigh now and then.  ;)

Different people do indeed like different things.  I am personally a hardcore medieval/fantasy fetishist and have spent multiple thousands of dollars on Ren Faire/SCA/LARPING wardrobe and gear.  Black leather and crushed velvet, chainmail bondage and knife play with daggers, that's for me.  I *can* play the more traditional BDSM/kink games, but there is nothing that does it for me like a well drawn fantasy roleplaying character in a scene with some plot, some character background and a metric fuckton of costuming and props.  Everything else is just sort of makeshift and lackluster in comparison for me, because it isn't my personal fetish.  

I'd really rather be playing D&D than B&D.  Ideally I'd like to combine the two, but if it comes down to a choice of a kink event where I know I'll get to play, and a gaming or roleplaying event where I know all the interaction will be nonsexual and vanilla, I'll definitely be off gaming or swordfighting or tavern keeping for the weekend.  There's only so much "second best" kinky play I can do without ending up feeling completely bored and frustrated because my own kink doesn't happen. 
  
The reality of my fetish is that basically nobody else in the BDSM community shares it.  I get my roleplaying fix regularly through gaming and fantasy medieval recreation, but nobody I roleplay with in these contexts is kinky and it isn't BDSM, which I also have a need for.  There is some overlap in these communities, but it's a small enough percentage that I do not find partners who are active in both places (eg, sub male who is also a hardcore medieval recreationalist and really into scening in character).  I almost never have and I expect that I almost never will.  The partner I do have who is a gamer doesn't want to combine these interests, so I basically never get any of what I personally want most in a scene.

People I meet in the BDSM world generally don't even want to hear about my fetish. They don't care, they're not into it, they don't want to play that way.  Which is fine; not everybody is a devotee of this obscure segment of geekdom, and I recognize that I can't expect them to be.  So yeah, I know EXACTLY how you feel if you are a cross dresser despairing of the fact that nobody seems to be even remotely interested in your fetish.  Welcome to the same world that all of us live in.  We either find partners who happen to share our ideas of what's fun and sexy, live with the fact that we might get some play but might rarely or never get to indulge in what we value most, or have as much fun and fulfillment as we can manage in the rest of our lives and live with the fact that we will probably never find a partner without sacrificing a very large and very precious part of who we are as kinky people. 

Me, I'm just going to have fun and make the best of what's good about my life and not worry so much about what's missing.  I had a very good weekend running around in armor and a Lyonshel feline facial prosthetic, bashing people with swords.  And yes, I think my character looks pretty hot in a black leather surcoat, black plate armor and black leather fencing boots.  ;) There was no sex, bondage or kinky play in sight, but it was still more fun than a kinky weekend of  boringly mundane BDSM play and no roleplaying in sight.  That's my perspective anyhow, and that's how I indulge my fetish without having a play partner who is willing to do it for me.

< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 9/24/2006 5:30:20 PM >
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/24/2006 5:42:14 PM   
firefey


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline 		oh honey, you need to get out to california.  there's a whole world of kinksters that also play at the so cal ren faire.  lush long haired boys and girls who love a good spanking and sharp pointy fun.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/24/2006 5:48:34 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: firefey

oh honey, you need to get out to california.  there's a whole world of kinksters that also play at the so cal ren faire.  lush long haired boys and girls who love a good spanking and sharp pointy fun.


Yep, used to live there, discovered my particular fetish there.  Used to work the original Agoura Faire before the site was trashed.  Oh, for the Leather Tea Parties at Baycon and the after hours Pirate Parties at LHC Northern Faire.  I don't live there any more and the current career path is unlikely to allow me go back to the Sunshine State as long as I'm on it.

< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 9/24/2006 5:49:54 PM >

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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/24/2006 5:55:13 PM   
firefey


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline 		sadness.  we've been sans fetish party afterhours for three years running now, because we switched sites again.  and now there is no after hours.  but i'm with you on the whole medival style play.  the rich, sensual fabrics, the long hair, the toys.  and it's so much better to be "my lady" than ma'am or mistress.  blech.  still i'm surprised there is a lack of kinky sca-dians in your neck of the woods.  the two have always seemed to mix rather well in my neck of the woods.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/24/2006 5:56:58 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Aside from the obvious labels: gender, persona, etc., we all have tastes, kinks, fetishes and quirks.  This is what makes us unique.

Throw too many of them in the mix, for any given individual, and you find it hard to believe that there is much of a match for anyone.

Too many deviations, a nasty brew indeed!

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/25/2006 1:39:59 AM   
Kahri


Posts: 70
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

I don't live there any more and the current career path is unlikely to allow me go back to the Sunshine State as long as I'm on it.


Ummm - it's the Golden State.  The Sunshine State is Florida.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/25/2006 2:37:58 AM   
Tobes


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/25/2006
Status: offline 		Just a couple of cents from me.  I can empathize with the OP on the love of overlap of geekitude and BDSM, as well as the paucity of it.  I'm much more of a tabletopper than dress-up-and-get-into-character roleplayer, but the fact of the matter is that whether you're playing with funny-looking polyhedrons or with people in SCA, there're precious few participants who you're likely to find at next week's play party as well.  It's certainly true that as much as love the lifestyle, I'm often more likely to have fun if I can sit with some friends and create some stories, limited only by our imaginations and character sheets.

Surely, there are those who'd rather they separated their geekery from the rest of their life (much like many of us want to keep some space between their BDSM and their vanilla lives), but I'm not one of them.  It'd be fantastic to find someone who's as eager to unshealth her dice for an evening as I am, though I recognize the slim chances of it.  Ah, commiseration.

-- Tobes

(in reply to Kahri)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/25/2006 4:41:31 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Tabletop is good fun too.  Currently running a hybrid Shadowrun/World of Darkness tabletop campaign (post-nuclear vampires and Changing Breeds in dome cities, anyone?) and D20 Modern online.  May move over to Serenity/Firefly for the online campaign this coming week, since the last adventure just wrapped. 

I think I get a fundamental satisfaction out of creating imaginative stories and scenarios, whether the application is D&D or B&D.  I tend to get a lot more of the former than the latter, and while I wish I had more kink in my life, I wouldn't swap the creative stuff for the kinky stuff even if the opportunity arose.

(in reply to Tobes)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/25/2006 5:29:40 PM   
Kahri


Posts: 70
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Well, finding compatible geeks and finding compatible kinksters are each challenges.  So finding a compatible kinky geek (or geeky kinkster) can be a long, slow, frustrating process.  But it would be worth the patience if you were to find them!

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/25/2006 6:29:14 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		The closest best thing to this in the UK has to be The Sealed Knot - English civil war reenactment. It had around 6000 members when I was involved, back in my younger and more innocent days.

The battles for the paying public seemed to be something of a distraction for most members though - most of whom had swapped partners after their first five years, it seemed. More of a massive swinging event, but in costume.

And then there was the living history, where some unfortunate soldier would always get a whipping for something or another.

Makes me wonder what it was all really about - all those leather accoutrements and bucket top boots. I was only there for the swordfighting, but I was young and innocent.

E

(in reply to Kahri)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/25/2006 9:07:20 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
Makes me wonder what it was all really about - all those leather accoutrements and bucket top boots. I was only there for the swordfighting, but I was young and innocent.


Heck yeah, I'll flog me some of those poor innocent swordfighters. ;)

(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/26/2006 9:30:00 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
No mention of Stratematic Baseball? God I'm disappointed.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 9/27/2006 5:43:56 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		N-Charmer, your fetish may be more wide spread than you think. I saw the second post that understood you. I am number three.

(in reply to cloudboy)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 10/2/2006 12:31:44 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		I feel the campaign for geeky bdsm-ers has re-ignighted.
Please feel free to add the line "Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s" to your sig!

J

(in reply to sophia37)
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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 10/2/2006 7:33:58 AM   
badkittyamy


Posts: 41
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Nassau, Bahamas
Status: offline 		This is why I love my Lady she used to tabletop and now I am too i play Magic the Gathering as well.It's refreshing to be able to tell stories of the misadvenbtures our characters would get into versus my old girlfriend who thought it all childish and stupid.

_____________________________


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RE: Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) - 10/2/2006 8:12:34 AM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

The reality of my fetish is that basically nobody else in the BDSM community shares it. 


Hmm, my SCA seems to be made up out of kinksters, and the AMTguard group here holds regular "flogging demonstrations" ( *thinks* I need to get in contact with them again.) My S&M and Furry friends tend to also gravitate towards gaming, fantasy, sci fi and roleplay. Heck my slave is hellbent to convert me into a D&D geek. It might just be that there isn't as many people in your generation into it, but looking into the younger 20-30s people, there seems to be quite a few of us geeks out there. I know you can find us. Good luck Najak.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to badkittyamy)
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