RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (Full Version)

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MagiksSlave -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/26/2006 2:32:02 AM)

can I just add this saying

fool me ones shame on you fool me twise shame on me!!

Magik's slave



gypsylee -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/26/2006 3:16:59 AM)

according to mine, no.

He is interested in me playing with other subs (female), well we both agree that she wouldn't have to be *in* the lifestyle, just *open* to being in a D/s/s situation. either way, He has absolutely no desire to collar another sub and we've both agreed that we are monogamous, so it's basically out of the question ie. if He collared another sub i'd be outta there!

He's also consented to me having a MMf but the dynamics in this situation are more tricky because i don't want a sub boy but He wouldn't feel comfortable with another Dom so i dunno.

these scenarios are a long way down the track anyway because we've got a shitload of one-on-one stuff to do first :)

uh yeh, so regarding the question, we'd both say no.

[sm=flying.gif]



gypsylee -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/26/2006 3:24:50 AM)

omg.

i just read the post that went with this question (yes i'm lazy and i just jump in and give my 2c worth).

how horrible for you.

*hugs* gypsy



Cdub2U -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/26/2006 4:59:56 PM)

I’m not going to sit around and make excuses for the Guy, he is a poor excuse for a Dom. [:'(]

He has the right, if he chooses to have other subs. However, that rule should have been established when he decided to make you his sub. As you should know a D/s relationship is a living breathing multidimensional thing unto itself with all parties agreeing on almost all aspects of the relationship. In addition, one of the major roles of said relationship is to foster free and open communications!

You need to openly communicate with him and do whatever you need to do about your relationship!
[&o]



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/26/2006 8:50:50 PM)

I agree with many on their opinions regarding the lies being a huge draw back..however has anyone thought it could be simply that whole "forbidden fruit" thing?..and he found that rather than being honest as he already knew  the OP had ok'd another he found more of a thrill from it being an under cover operation so to speak?..Not that I am saying this is acceptable it is not!...however,it could be the "forbidden fruit" or he could of been searching first than if met the right "one" then he would of introduced this person into their life?..ach! I dont know..it is late and my mind is circling the drain..be well..Tempting



MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/27/2006 5:59:25 AM)

(fast reply)

I find it interesting that it does not occure to anyone that maybe, as the relationship grew, his stance on multipul subs grew and changed as well. After all, as the relationship continues and becomes more stable, people do begin to consider doing things that didn't occure to them to do in the begining of the relationship. We consider it to be such a good thing when the submissive/slave grows, what about if it's the Master/Dom that grows?



MsKatHouston -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/27/2006 6:06:40 AM)

Actually that's precisely what I said on page one.  I don't think changing or growing is the issue, though, it's how he went about accomplishing it.  Many times people's limits and preferences change, both Dom and sub, through the course of a relationship.  But a foundation of honesty should still be there.  He lied, and purposely tried to hide his goings on.  I think there is a possibility of this relationship working with time and hard work and communication.  People screw up within relationships all the time and I think people should try to salvage them if they can.  Only the OP can determine if she can live with this and try to work on saving the relationship.  The dynamic may need to change for a bit while trust is re established, though.



xxblushesxx -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/27/2006 6:33:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

(fast reply)

I find it interesting that it does not occure to anyone that maybe, as the relationship grew, his stance on multipul subs grew and changed as well. After all, as the relationship continues and becomes more stable, people do begin to consider doing things that didn't occure to them to do in the begining of the relationship. We consider it to be such a good thing when the submissive/slave grows, what about if it's the Master/Dom that grows?


Mr. Discipline;
with all due respect ~and you know I do respect your opinions...except when we talk about cookie torture~[;)]....Would you consider it growth if a submissive skulked around behind your back?
Most relationships do not grow or flourish when lies and (potential or actual) infidelity are thrown into the mix.
Some masters reserve the right to do what they like with others.
Some do not.
If it works for the people involved, I see nothing wrong with living (honorably and honestly) in what ever way they have agreed upon.
This is so obviously not the case in this situation.
Lies breed insecurity and mistrust.  Not to mention the fact that a slave should be able to look up to and respect his/her master.
Personally, I'd have a very hard time with that, were I in her situation.

just mnsho...

~Christina



Celeste43 -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/27/2006 6:40:48 AM)

It isn't D/s or a gender thing. Vanillas cheat on their spouses also. But it is necessary that anyone you are with be upfront about this so you can decide what you are or aren't comfortable with.

The question now is, if he cheats with someone can you trust him again? What do you require to rebuild trust? Six months of not seeing anybody else with STD scans taken regularly during this time? And could you believe him if he said he wasn't with anybody else. Him tomcatting around promiscuously could cost you your life.



OhReallyNow -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/27/2006 6:46:20 AM)

fast reply not directed at anyone in particular
 
while this slave can sympathize with your situation, she is going to take the less popular opinion here and state that your Master has the right to do what he wishes.
 
This slave and Master did not specifically discuss the option of others being involved in our relationship, yet, if Master were today to tell her that he has found another girl; this slave would accept it as part of our relationship dynamic. She has no right to tell him that he can or can not look for others. When she became owned, she gave up that right, willingly.
 
on that same note, this slave would never question anything she found on Master's computer ( and yes, this slave has access to his accounts..plural...just as he has access to hers ). What Master does is his business and does not concern this slave until he chooses to let it do so.
 
of course, this is just how our relationship is structured; this slave is very aware that others would not view such a scenario as favorable.



MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/27/2006 3:02:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Actually that's precisely what I said on page one.  I don't think changing or growing is the issue, though, it's how he went about accomplishing it.  Many times people's limits and preferences change, both Dom and sub, through the course of a relationship.  But a foundation of honesty should still be there.  He lied, and purposely tried to hide his goings on.  I think there is a possibility of this relationship working with time and hard work and communication.  People screw up within relationships all the time and I think people should try to salvage them if they can.  Only the OP can determine if she can live with this and try to work on saving the relationship.  The dynamic may need to change for a bit while trust is re established, though.
I must admit that I haven't been back to page one since this thread opened. I do apologize.

We really can't determine if he tried to hide what he was doing. After all, we did not find the accounts, she did. And without looking on his computer, we can't say that the accounts were hidden. After all, if one is doing something they shouldn't be on a computer, the first place you cover your tracks would be the computer your using. Covert Administrative Ops 101 [;)].

Secondly, we actually have no idea how long ago she found these accounts and if she actually gave him time to come out with them. After all, she did say she was just back from a funeral. As a person in a relationship with other, I know that this would be the most inopportune time to tell them "Hey, I want to find someone to do the type of play you won't do."

You are right though, we are all only human and we screw up from time to time.



MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/27/2006 3:25:46 PM)

You know Christina, I made the most delectable plate of peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies last night. [:D]



xxblushesxx -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/28/2006 6:04:15 AM)

whimper



MasterCherokeeOh -> RE: Is it a Dominant tendency, to want multiple subs? Is the pursuit and challenge a constant need? (9/29/2006 7:10:06 AM)

The main issue here is trust> First let me say it is not a Dom trait,at least not with me.But like I said the main issue is trust the very basis of a D/s relationship.How can you trust your saftey, your life to someone you now have no trust in. Maybe your monogamus but it's fasily obvious he isn't



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