sammie
Posts: 5
Joined: 1/8/2005
Status: offline
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Good Morning:
My first experiences in D/s were created by the Domme/Dom as I did not overtly seek the individuals or BDSM experiences. Each was very intense and created many questions for me regarding why I had allowed them to continue. Thus, I did not have an ideal Domme/Dom for many years.
As I began seeking D/s relationships myself, I created the perfect Domme/Dom that I was seeking. A Domme had to be over five feet ten inches tall, strong voice, very intelligent, continental European, smoked though I did not, wore black clothing, etc. Additionally, I had a list of hard limits such as scat, chemicals, etc. and soft limits.
There were a group of similar expectations for a Dom. They would be tall, blonde, intelligent, athletic build, thirty to thirty-five years old, American, etc.
Interestingly, none of the earlier Domme/Doms had created these specific requirements. Seeking this ideal Domme/Dom, I had some fun experiences, laughed a great deal, had a several Domme/Doms that desired switches. Discovered that I didn't enjoy topping. Yes, I had one excellent long-term D/s relationship as a domestic slave with a Domme who did not meet these, but I did not notice.
A very squeaky voice told me that a mutual friend suggested that we talk and would I meet her for drinks at Momo's that evening. I agreed, and she instantly told me to wear tan trousers, sandals, a white polo shirt with no belt, underwear, no wallet, keys, etc. in my pockets, and to bring a resume.
As Momo's was a favorite watering hole of a close friend, I had been there several times. Unless I was abducted in a Bentley, Porsche Turbo or Ferrari, the servers were not going to allow a ruckus. Obviously, she was going to pay for expensive drinks.
I arrived at Momo's to meet a very very thin, Central European woman with a very high voice. She did not smoke, was not tall, wasn't interested in conversation but wanted specific questions answered. She was very confident and well liked in Momo's it appeared. She was a well established ballerina with a London ballet company. Regarding my limits, she stated that I must agreed to break them if I was to be punished and listed off infractions that would result in such punishment. On the other hand, she was a pixie!
Immediately, I had been a submissive to her. Her life was very frantic, demanding, etc., but her D/s relationship was very planned, ect. It was ritualized, and she demanded that it remain as such.
I would arrive at her flat near the Barbicon where the door would be ajar and walk down the hall to a back room. I was not to go into other rooms, stop if I saw someone, etc. Quickly and efficiently, my clothing was taken from me and placed in another room which I had never entered. The bondage was very specific with my cock and balls aways attached to a chain secured to an eye hook in the floor. Other bondage was used to hold me in position.
In the end, I realized that she enjoyed seeing me reach the point where where I only reacted to her voice, the ritual, etc. Basically, her ritual was meant to strip the self from the submissive by draining the submissive physically and emotionally. I never had expected the strength and endurance that this tiny pixie exhibited.
The difficult part was the distance that she put between us. I was the only one who changed. She wore what she wanted whether a business suit, warm-ups, etc. Her day progressed as normal as she answered the phone in another room or talked to a boiler engineer who arrived. On the other hand, I had absolutely no choices. My day changed completely when I arrived. She knew what I would be doing every second of the time in her flat.
She returned to her ballet company in Central Europe, and I was thinking about new relationships. This experience made me understand that it is not the perfect Domme/Dom (height, weight, hair colour, age, etc.), but one is seeking a specific emotional experience.
This made me realize that the 'friendships' that I had been seeking with Domme/Doms were not part of the emotional experience that I seek. Instead, the perfect Domme/Dom for me is a person who enjoys power exchange and does not desire to know me as a person. The Domme/Dom takes my privacy and immediately builds upon that. They continue their life as usual whether including friends or dressing. This creates a great gap between us with the Domme/Dom quickly gaining the majority of power and control in the relationship.
The Domme/Dom's enjoyment of humiliation results in a continued testing of the exchange of power. I do not know it if is the lack of power and control or the humiliation that I find the anxiety and other emotions which draw me to BDSM relationships.
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