songbird26 -> RE: Fact or Fantasy? (2/16/2005 10:22:23 AM)
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Ahh, my perfect dominant... He's funny, well-read, and isn't looking for a housekeeper, a blow-up sex doll, or a doormat. My physical ideal is over 6' tall and built squarely, with lots of muscle, dark hair, and light eyes. He takes a healthy interest in the fitness and strength of his body. He can keep a job, an apartment, and friendships for longer than a year at a stretch. He doesn't have children yet, but is open to the idea. He's tickled pink by the fact that I am submissive to him and ONLY to him. He's a little possessive, as am I: he doesn't often share me with other dominants or expect me to stand by passively and watch him pick up other submissives. He bases none of his lifestyle choices on the books of John Norman. He has a full and busy life with many interests outside of bdsm, but makes our bedroom and house his playground. He's creative and a little sadistic when it comes to thinking up new and unexpected torments and pleasures. heh. He laughs a lot. He welcomes and appreciates my service when he requires it, but expects me to think on my own most of the time. He can control his temper, his moods, and his thoughts. He's smarter than I am. He has adult experience training animals (in other words, that puppy or pony in childhood doesn't count. *grin*). He likes turning me loose on people who annoy him. He's presentable and well-socialized enough that I can introduce him to my vanilla friends and family without trepidation. He's relatively discreet about his involvement in kink, as am I: what we do in our home is our business. We can walk that line between dominant/submissive, lover/lover, and best friends, without either of us losing our minds or throwing in the towel. He enjoys a challenge and thrives on some healthy conflict and friction, but knows how (and when!) to say "NO." And mean it. He communicates openly, honestly, clearly, and often. He loves to travel. Our kinks are mostly compatible, but he's not afraid to do what he wants even when they aren't; he's never hesitant to do what it takes to maintain the upper hand in our relationship, even outside the kinky realm, and knows what tactics will and won't work in that capacity. He likes who I am and won't try to change that; will merely take us both to more complete and fulfilled versions of ourselves. It's vague, I know, in some parts, but when I think of my perfect dominant, this is what comes to mind. It's a fantasy wish list, and not something I would hold anyone to in real life, though I don't think that taken one by one the list items are fantastic at all, and some are definitely more important than others. :)
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