can someone explain this to me??

can someone explain this to me?? (Full Version)

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ladysian -> can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:10:57 PM)
why when i have stated i am a pro and that this is what i do FOR A LIVING i.e. to survive and pay bills rent etc. I have been OFFERED a tribute of £250 before stating that i require one at all but then when i state i'm not getting all excited because its not a new senario to me and i do this exact thing all the time i'm offered a much reduced payment when i refuse to accept only £50 because its an everyday thing to me and tell the client that i am now offeded i get personal abuse about my appearance and told i'm leeching off the poor - if this person could not afford £250 then why offer it? oh and just for the record i'm not a leech i have a special offer for all local students and low incomes - £50 maximum and the rest is made up in housework or other chores but for those who can afford it yes i do charge more - but above all else i do it because I ENJOY MY WORK but even i have to earn enough to support my family Ladysian

Silvermoon -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:13:46 PM)
Just a thought...perhaps it was the attitude put forth? If you're not 'excited' about your job, isn't it time to seek a new one? Just 1 cent..not really worth 2. Silver

Nimkii -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:16:31 PM)
I would agree. Seems like its time to figure out a new way to pay your bills.

ladysian -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:17:49 PM)
by not excited i mean i was not putting forth any ideas about what should happen in this meeting as it was his fetish and he seemed to have a very set idea about what he wanted - but i mainly cater to the fetish of the client not my own but my not telling him what he had to do apparently meant i was uninterested, which i wasn't i enjoy my work for the most part but it was a very run of the mill request and so didn't really need a lot of thought and planning - i'm sure if any dominant got a slave who wished to be beaten black and blue and that is it would agree - it really is a bit of a no brainer however i love to dominate when i do have to think and plan the many things i am going to do to the client - then is the best way to truely enjoy being dominant

MistressAinCT -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:21:55 PM)
Clients pay for the fantasy more than anything else. If you don't give it to them with some "enthusiasm" whether real or faked, they tend to call you a fake and they feel cheated. Yes, it's a job but any job not worth doing well is not worth doing at all. I am not sure what abuse you are experiencing as far as your appearance goes but as long as you don't misrepresent yourself as something you are or are not (tell them you are thin but you aren't for example) I wouldn't worry. Again, its the fantasy. One of the reasons I gave up being pro was because of all the bargain hunters out there. They think because I am not in a big city that I should charge less but I require what I do because My equipment is top standard, My experience is also premier, and I know how to live up to their fantasy. ProDomming is a lot of work-HARD WORK-but if you don't love it or even like it, its going to be harder for you to earn that living. Settle down and take stock in what and who you are. You will find that with more experience things will calm down. And NEVER sell yourself short or make bargains because once word gets around, you will NOT be getting your top tribute and the clients will think they can get away with anything. BTW-not everyone agrees with or likes ProDomination so get over that and move on.

Silvermoon -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:26:24 PM)
Ahh I see, thank you for the clarity on that point, somewhat. He knows what he wanted, but was still seeking ideas? I think I understand what you mean. Perhaps he's never approached a Pro before, and wasn't sure what to expect. Many Pro's have a 'standard' to which they play by. A 'list' if you will. Perhaps he was hoping that you would control what happened, thus push a bit? Perhaps he was uncertain over all? Sounds like it's time to rethink some of the strategies. Like your 'lower rate'..which it's good in theory, it will only undermind when you're attempting to do. If people can't afford the service, frankly they shouldn't be doing it. It's a good thought, but everyone will assume they can get a 'cut rate' as well. BTW, I neither agree, nor disagree with Pro-Domination. I think if one is responsible and conducts it as a business in a business-like manner, and accepts responsibilty. More power to them. The rest..well. You know. Sincerely, Silver

ladysian -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:29:14 PM)
i can't have represented myself properly before, i am a pro-domme of 8 years but have only just started looking in places such as this i've never misrepresented what i look like - i don't even describe myself - i let people look at the pictures and make up thier own minds i have the not a major city problem too but they can like it, lump it or travel 300 miles and still pay more but thanks for the advice about the cut prices - i was thinking about knocking it on the head anyway so i think this has decided for me

missturbation -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:34:00 PM)
No offence hun but i wud have thought someone in ur line of work wud have a lot thicker skin than to get offended over money. You say u ony do this to pay the bills? There are other ways to earn money than hooking ya know. Just my opinion.

ladysian -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:37:58 PM)
I AM NOT A HOOKER OR A WHORE i offer no sexual contact at all

missturbation -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:46:56 PM)
Hmm cud have fooled me. Im sure your clients get off on what you offer so in my book thats sexual contact. Hey you wanna dress up what you do fine by me but ur in the sex industry hun any which way you look at it.

ladysian -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:50:20 PM)
i do not touch my clients in a sexual way or in sexual areas THAT is the meaning of sexual contact so they might get off - a man might get off watching you walk down the street does that mean you are in the sex industry? this is about control - it is in no way about sex for me and if it is for others thats up to them - so stop being small minded and try to understand

missturbation -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 2:57:48 PM)
It's my opinion of what you do and im entitled to it. a man might get off watching you walk down the street does that mean you are in the sex industry? Just a tad different to what you do for a living hun - as in you get paid to sexually excite men by control or whatever means. I have no problem with what you do - ive done lap dancing and porn films to make ends meet but i wont try and dress it up as anything other than what it was - a job in the sex industry.

DOM33416 -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 3:11:30 PM)
Pro Domme = whore ? I think that opinion would spark some interesting response. As for the original post , I suggest better communication .

missturbation -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 3:13:25 PM)
Pro Domme = whore ? I think that opinion would spark some interesting response. If i'd called her a whore it might !!

GentleDominantx2 -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 3:17:55 PM)
No sense in arguing with ignorance. It merely fuels the power exchange she's looking for.

DOM33416 -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 3:17:58 PM)
"There are other ways to earn money than hooking ya know. Just my opinion. " Hooking ? I certainly would think that was a reference to being a whore instead of maybe a fisherman .

missturbation -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 3:22:13 PM)
Ah lol - ur ignorance there hun. Where i come from someone who works in the sex industry is a hooker. Also anyone who brings sexual gratification to someone else for money is a hooker. Why because its bdsm related do people have to dress it up to be more than it is. Does that mean the bdsm porn i did was not sex industry work because its bdsm related and about control and power rather than sex?

missturbation -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 3:23:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GentleDominantx2 No sense in arguing with ignorance. It merely fuels the power exchange she's looking for. If that was aimed at me i prefer to be the one without power. If not my apologies.

demistress -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 3:25:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DOM33416 "There are other ways to earn money than hooking ya know. Just my opinion. " Hooking ? I certainly would think that was a reference to being a whore instead of maybe a fisherman . giggle

justheather -> RE: can someone explain this to me?? (9/25/2006 3:29:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ladysian by not excited i mean i was not putting forth any ideas about what should happen in this meeting as it was his fetish and he seemed to have a very set idea about what he wanted - but i mainly cater to the fetish of the client not my own but my not telling him what he had to do apparently meant i was uninterested, which i wasn't i enjoy my work for the most part but it was a very run of the mill request and so didn't really need a lot of thought and planning - i'm sure if any dominant got a slave who wished to be beaten black and blue and that is it would agree - it really is a bit of a no brainer however i love to dominate when i do have to think and plan the many things i am going to do to the client - then is the best way to truely enjoy being dominant Maybe your not telling him what he had to do meant to him that you were not working for the money. For some people, the telling them what they have to do is the crux of the experience. It's what gets them off. Maybe he wanted you to lower your price because he felt you weren't working hard enough for his money. If the way you truly enjoy being a dominant is in the work of thinking of what you are going to do to the client, why did you not put any effort into this one? Maybe if you had, he wouldnt have haggled with you and you'd both be satisfied right now. The picture Im getting is that you were a little ho hum about the deal and frankly, for that kind of money, I think the guy has a right to expect you to at least feign some excitement. If I were to pay to see an actress portray Lady Macbeth for the thirty second time, is it ok for her to do a half-assed job because "it's pretty run of the mill" for her to do the role now? Your clients arent paying you because you're you (Im sure you're fabulous, but then arent we all?), they are paying you for a service, which, apparently to this guy, is supposed to involve your putting some effort into things before the deal goes down. If you don't agree, then you are probably not the domme for him. I don't agree with him insulting you. If he was not satisfied with your level of service, he should have been a big boy and just said thank you but no thank you. That's the problem with doing anything professionally. If it's what's putting food on your table, you have to expose yourself to people who might not be of the caliber you would prefer, but have money to spend.

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