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maudite -> RE: Myths... (9/29/2006 11:31:29 AM)
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That a woman with a strong personality and strong opinions must be a domme and/or cannot be a 'real' sub. That only subs who want a RT relationship are 'real' subs. That all subs are slaves. I'm pretty sure someone already posted about the strangely pervasive belief that all subs are bottoms (and/or that all bottoms are subs).
And, of course, there is the belief that everyone into wiitwd is poly and/or into having multiple partners. Someone else mentioned the belief that those of us into BDSM are automatically more self-aware and/or have a more 'evolved' sense of sexuality... I've also run into that attitude among poly folks, most often the ones who believe that poly is a more 'natural' lifestyle -- or even that monogamy is 'unnatural'.
As a strong, opinionated sub (but not a slave or a bottom) who's strictly monogamous in serious relationships (but not necessarily opposed to non-exclusive dating) and thinks that BDSM is nothing more than a matter of personal predilection, I find all these assumptions very annoying.
A friend once told me, upon finding out I'm a sub, that he couldn't imagine anyone being able to dominate me. I replied, "Yeah, that's kind of the problem." By which I don't mean that I'm impossible to dominate, but that some doms assume I will be. I'll submit for a dom I consider worthy of the gift of my submission. Everyone else gets my everyday persona, no matter how they identify. And as far as I'm concerned, any dom who finds that unacceptable definitely has some evolving to do.
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