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RE: BDSM Definitions? - 9/30/2006 7:31:25 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

This reminds me of an old beegees song....

"Its only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away."

I always wondered why Maurice Gibb didnt just shut up with his damn words and give her the big salami.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 301

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 9/30/2006 7:33:21 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

Oh...they found out the 'Master' was actually a nut? Well, didn't they take the time to find this out before they 'submitted once'. It is still a ridiculous theory to me. Perhaps you have done this and again, while i do find this admirable, i do not see it as the norm, so the phrase itself is moot to me.

ADG, i was not poking at you per se, just sort of using it for a launching point; i really cannot remember where i heard that phrase first.

I think that "submitting just once by the slave" and "didn't they take the time to find out who they were submitting to" are questions for a whole other thread. In my case, maybe i just know or feel when it is right for me, as i accepted all three collars(i am in the 3rd now) i have worn within a very short time frame.

Or maybe i am just stubborn.......lol.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 302

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 9/30/2006 7:33:50 PM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

i see exactly what you are saying julia.....and i agree. One thing i have always found scarey was to love a partner so much and then they die. Perhaps it may happen some day but it is not something i ever try to think about

But ownedgirlie said maybe the Master didn't want her anymore....not that he had died....so that is what i responded to.

Daddysgirl

_____________________________

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

Frederick Douglas

"I am in a relationship which employs punishment because it fulfills me to do

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 303

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 9/30/2006 7:36:33 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Does "submitting once" mean to that particular master is my question

Another thing is, some slaves do not describe it as submitting at all, kinda like they had no choice emotionally speaking....

Just food for thought

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 304

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 9/30/2006 7:47:12 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Does "submitting once" mean to that particular master is my question

Another thing is, some slaves do not describe it as submitting at all, kinda like they had no choice emotionally speaking....

In a M/s relationship, in my opinion, yes it means that particular Master.

And it is true, at least as i have experienced it, you come to a point where you suddenly realize you have no choice. I often think i chose the ones that i knew could take me there simply by being themselves.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 305

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 9/30/2006 8:22:08 PM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

Well ownedgirlie, i prefer not to speculate why a Master would dismiss a 'perfect' slave....i have never been informed by a Master that this was the case. Actually, i have never been told my a Master that he dismissed a slave who met all his needs, so that was my question.

And i wonder why my posts keep getting misinterpreted? i asked a question.....then there should be NO ACCEPTABLE REASON for leaving, should there be? That was a question, not a statement.

But yes, i do mean for a slave to leave of their own accord. i understand death (of course)....but i was not referring to that.

And what i meant about a slave fulfilling a Master in every way, shape or form.....i think that when a slave submits, she does try to do this (to her best capacity anyway). i would gander that even if you ask twicehappy, she tries to please in every way. Will she be perfect? Hell, i don't know! But if she truly is and her Master dismisses her....well, i am not sure why this would happen. Again, that was really a question.

In any event, i am talking about a slaving leaving of her own free will which was not part of the equation when i saw the quote of 'slaves submit once'. That is why i asked about slaves leaving that relationship.

Daddysgirl

_____________________________

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

Frederick Douglas

"I am in a relationship which employs punishment because it fulfills me to do

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 306

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 9/30/2006 8:30:01 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

And i wonder why my posts keep getting misinterpreted? i asked a question.....then there should be NO ACCEPTABLE REASON for leaving, should there be? That was a question, not a statement.

Yes, it was a question, and my answer was maybe he didn't want her. When you further asked, "why would he want to get rid of her?" I listed some speculative reasons. I meant no offense in doing so.

quote:

But yes, i do mean for a slave to leave of their own accord. i understand death (of course)....but i was not referring to that.

I can see now that was the case. I tend to be very literal, so I mistook your question to mean under any circumstances.

quote:

But if she truly is and her Master dismisses her....well, i am not sure why this would happen. Again, that was really a question.

I understand. My last post, with the speculations, was an attempt to answer that question.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 307

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 1:28:22 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

You called Synergy, slave synergy. He obviously took exception to it. It was not exactly the most appropriate way to prove your point that how one labels another affects a person.

Lovely post, KnightofMists. I had a couple of comments about it.

The name is Sinergy. I want to put the sin back into things that work in concert. Perhaps I just like the German lemon flavored candy by that name.

I did not necessarily take exception to it per se. I simply found it amusing that somebody who deems themselves such a legend in their own mind as to grant themselves the right to define BDSM terminology and foist it on an entire community would commit such an egregious breach of D/s or BDSM protocol.

As you stated, calling me names was not exactly the most appropriate or effective method to prove her point that we
need terminology to define WIITWD.

But that is just me, and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 308

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 4:27:59 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

And what i meant about a slave fulfilling a Master in every way, shape or form.....i think that when a slave submits, she does try to do this (to her best capacity anyway). i would gander that even if you ask twicehappy, she tries to please in every way. Will she be perfect? Hell, i don't know! But if she truly is and her Master dismisses her....well, i am not sure why this would happen. Again, that was really a question.

I have to agree with the largest point of your question but will speculate as to why one would have to release the "perfect slave". It could be that he/she does all that can be done to please the owner, that his/her heart was there and the devotion was there and still it isn't enough or maybe is to much for the owner... in that respect it wouldn't be that the slave wasn't a "perfect slave" but that the slave wasn't "perfect" for that owner. I understand that sometimes slaves "beg" release but I'm not sure it's always the fault or short coming of the slave. There are a lot of so called owners out there that don't have the balls to just come right out and say... "You know what? This isn't working, I'm going to release you." Instead they turn into total asswipes and push the slave to the point where they have no other choice but to beg release. So in that respect the slave TRIED like hell be the "slave only submits once" type person and wasn't allowed to. It takes at least two in any relationship but it only takes one to really f*ck it up.

And Knight... there is one big difference here....

quote:

You called Synergy, slave synergy. He obviously took exception to it. It was not exactly the most appropriate way to prove your point that how one labels another affects a person. I use a simple phrase... and you are affected by it.. no less than how Synergy was affected by your label.

Synergy has made it pretty clear that words and labels mean little if anything to him... twice never made that comment, in fact she has made it clear that words mean a great deal to her. Personally, I think the point was made loud and clear. To state repeatedly that labels mean absolutely nothing and then to take exception to a label because it apparently does mean something speaks volumes. Either labels and words mean something and therefore affect someone or they mean nothing at all or only what each individual wishes them to mean and couldn't possibly be construed as offensive or even complimentary... because they are meaningless.

Similar to the word "greater"... it doesn't always mean better, sometimes it just means bigger.

quote:

It's almost reached the train wreck status for me.

There are still some trying to pull it back on track KatyLied.

< Message edited by ShiftedJewel -- 10/1/2006 4:37:27 AM >

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 309

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:06:22 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

i used to date a guy i considered quite stubborn. He said he was 'determined'

i said determined was a healthy attitude, stubborn was just being 'jackass-ish'

No problem twicehappy. And i think you sound determined, not stuborn....but i could be wrong

Daddysgirl

_____________________________

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

Frederick Douglas

"I am in a relationship which employs punishment because it fulfills me to do

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 310

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:13:28 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

Oh, no problem ownedgirlie. This is the problem with the written word....so much different than when actually conversing with another. Sometimes i think that gets to be the mix up when people start slamming each other. The written word just leaves a lot to be construed differently depending on who's reading it.

All in all, i have enjoyed this thread, despite the diversity. Lots of different people....lots of different view points

Daddysgirl

_____________________________

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

Frederick Douglas

"I am in a relationship which employs punishment because it fulfills me to do

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 311

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:15:49 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

Not to get off topic but would someone here please tell me how to box in the quotes? i wanted to try it but didn't want to f it up so i'd rather ask first. Thanks to any replies

_____________________________

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

Frederick Douglas

"I am in a relationship which employs punishment because it fulfills me to do

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 312

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:30:25 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

Not to get off topic but would someone here please tell me how to box in the quotes? i wanted to try it but didn't want to f it up so i'd rather ask first. Thanks to any replies

EIther highlight the text and hit the [Quote] button (next to [Reply] on the top right of the orignial post) or in the reply to message window, click the little speech ballon, and C&P what you want inside the boxes.

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 313

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:37:46 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

No problem twicehappy. And i think you sound determined, not stuborn....but i could be wrong

Or maybe i am just a rockhead, lmao........

I think Mistress mine made a very good point, it does take two to make a relationship but one can ruin it. Again, i think the statement you made about knowing who you are submitting to is a huge part of it, and that goes for those on both sides of the kneel.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 314

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:40:26 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

EIther highlight the text and hit the [Quote] button (next to [Reply] on the top right of the orignial post) or in the reply to message window, click the little speech ballon, and C&P what you want inside the boxes.

Okay, here i go....and thanks!

_____________________________

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.

Frederick Douglas

"I am in a relationship which employs punishment because it fulfills me to do

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 315

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:42:15 AM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

"Words and their meanings are to qualities what numbers are to quantities" OWEN BARFIELD

(I gathered this info from multiple sources and some of it paraphrased, so citing a specific source is not possible, but this information is readily available)

The coexistence of several meanings in one word, which is quite common is called polysemy. Many words develop a whole family of meanings, each new meaning often forming yet another starting point for more. The existence of polysemy has obvious dangers: it can make language rather slippery, so that in the course of a piece of reasoning we may be led astray because a key word in our argument is used with different meanings in different places. A homonym is a word that has the same pronunciation and spelling as another word, but a different meaning while heteronyms are words that are spelled the same but have different pronunciations and meanings.

This of course does not necessarily justify or validate the differences of words &/or their meanings or interpretations in the BDSM lifestyle, but the concept of multiple meanings between different groups, locations, etc. does exist. Therefore, the words slave, submissive, dominant, etc. having a different meaning in the BDSM lifestyle versus the vanilla lifestyle is an acceptable phenomina.

As a tongue in cheek example (I snagged this from another forum board, so I can’t really “credit” anyone)

Words Women Use and Their Meanings

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Post #: 316

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:44:29 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

Woohoo...it worked! Thanks again topcat.

So what do i know? i'm just a vanilla anyway (see that lil cone over my pic?)

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 317

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:49:23 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

Scooter,

i have seen this before and i still have to laugh....because it's all true!

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Post #: 318

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:56:54 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I only have just a moment to respond to this post before I am off to my daily torture session at the hospital, but I just wanted to jump in here.

adaddysgirl,
I can think of many reasons why a slave would ask for release or why there may be a dissolution of a Master/slave relationship...even after the slave submits once. Because we are people...and people change and are fallible. Just because you submit to a man today, there is no guarantee that he will be the same man 10 years from now. There is no guarantee that what works for both of you today will be what works then.

In the case of myself and my ex Master...I submitted to the man who I thought that was the perfect match for me. We had long and major discussions about what we wanted from life and what our relationship would be comprised of. It fit and we made a commitment to each other. When we committed, we had all intentions of it being forever. Unfortunately though, sometimes life has another plan.

About 8 years into the relationship, he began drinking again. He became an entirely different person than the man I made those commitments to. He became abusive in many ways. The next three years were hell....but I was determined to honor my commitment. I tried in every way that was possible to help him. But that only works when someone wants help. He did not. He was very comfortable in his self destruction and was sucking me down with his sinking ship. Self preservation finally had me looking for the door. As it turns out, I reached my decision at about the same time he took a huge leap over the edge and landed in a ton of legal troubles. Had I not made the decision that I could no longer continue, it would not have mattered because the State decided they had another place they wanted him to live for the next 10 years.

Will we be together again one day? I will never say never but I will say it is highly doubtful. There is probably just too much dirty water under that bridge. But I can tell you this much....I still love him deeply and his love for me is still as strong as it ever was....so yes, relationships can change....despite love....despite commitments....despite contracts. Because that is how life just is.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 319

RE: BDSM Definitions? - 10/1/2006 5:58:29 AM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline

I recall those terms in the old vanilla days, these days she'd just add 'Sir' at the end of each! LOL

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Post #: 320

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