Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Insecure


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Insecure Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Insecure - 9/27/2006 5:22:40 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		When is a person insecure? When they do things different than you do? When they have a different point of view than you do?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 5:24:02 AM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

When is a person insecure? When they do things different than you do? When they have a different point of view than you do?

this slave believes that insecurity comes when an individual begins to question THEMSELVES, not others.

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 5:56:40 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		Insecurity is when someone doubts themselves, when they are plagued with anxiety over what they are doing.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 5:57:50 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline 		OhReallyNow..I read your answer and my first response is "Thats a good definition" but then I took a moment and thought about it and found that it is not as accurate as it sounds at first read.

I believe that self evaluation and questioning yourself about your belief systems are not always a sign of insecurity. I think it is very healthy and many times necessary to re-evaluate what you think/feel about things. It happens as we grow in the lifestyle. It happens as we over come prejudice. It happens each time we come across a new idea or situation that we have to decide how we wish to take that information into ourselves.

I think it becomes insecurity when you are questioning yourself because you always believe you are wrong about how you view things.

(in reply to OhReallyNow)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 6:01:41 AM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

OhReallyNow..I read your answer and my first response is "Thats a good definition" but then I took a moment and thought about it and found that it is not as accurate as it sounds at first read.

I believe that self evaluation and questioning yourself about your belief systems are not always a sign of insecurity. I think it is very healthy and many times necessary to re-evaluate what you think/feel about things. It happens as we grow in the lifestyle. It happens as we over come prejudice. It happens each time we come across a new idea or situation that we have to decide how we wish to take that information into ourselves.

I think it becomes insecurity when you are questioning yourself because you always believe you are wrong about how you view things.

this slave agrees  her choice of words, or lack of words in this case were poorly chosen.
 

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 6:05:45 AM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		insecurity is doubting your own self worth and many times that is involved in a relationship not believing the other values you as much as you wish to feel valued.  May not be the definition for all but is the definition for me.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 6:09:33 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Just because people think and act differently doesn't make them insecure. They're insecure when they doubt themselves after gathering all the information needed to make a decision. If I was in the market for a new car, I'd buy a car magazine that tells about every model, I'd pick the features I wanted and eventually settle on the one that fit my needs. But if, after doing all that, I still asked all my friends if they thought this was the right car, that would signify that I doubted my ability to make informed decisions.

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 6:27:46 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		But to follow up the others, the insecurity persists until whatever the doubt is is dealt with.

Understanding the doubt is just the first step.  Removing it is the way to end a negative cycle.

It is possible to be in relationships when one or both parties harbor insecurities, but at some point or another these things will come out if they are not examined.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 6:28:17 AM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		Insecurity as I understand it is when a person WANTS to be right and perfect (they know they aren't, but they try to ignore that fact), and therefore fears others, who may show them that they are not right and perfect.  Fear makes the insecure person lash out at perceived threats to their desired position of 'rightness'. 
 
This is where you get the vicious crazy people with the swollen egos from.  IMHO.  YMMV.
 
zuma

< Message edited by zumala -- 9/27/2006 6:30:25 AM >

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 6:36:04 AM   
pqwinny


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

When is a person insecure? When they do things different than you do? When they have a different point of view than you do?


Is this a multiple choice question?
if so, neither a nor b strike me as viable answers.
i vote for the addition of another option...
c.  when fear is present

_____________________________

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 7:24:01 AM   
Silvermoon


Posts: 156
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline 		Insecurity...I tend to define it quite simply. When you look towards others to define yourself.


Sincerely.
Silver

_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"In Manus Tuas Commendo Spiritum Moum"-Into Your Hands I Entrust My Spirit

"A man's word is his honor, his honor is his worth; Therefore a man who can not keep his word, is worthless"-Self Quote

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 7:30:21 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline 		Insecurity is often used by people as a dismissal when they disagree with an opinion.

ie, "You don't like how I do things,so you must be insecure"

The reverse of it is "Your twueness makes you look very insecure, why can't you be more wishy washy?  Tolerance shows how secure you are!"

(in reply to Silvermoon)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 7:44:41 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pqwinny

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

When is a person insecure? When they do things different than you do? When they have a different point of view than you do?


Is this a multiple choice question?
if so, neither a nor b strike me as viable answers.
i vote for the addition of another option...
c.  when fear is present


I agree

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 7:52:00 AM   
pleazuredpain


Posts: 29
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

When is a person insecure? When they do things different than you do? When they have a different point of view than you do?


Insecurities are found within oneself.    When they question their worth or view themselves in a harsh light.  IMO anyway.



_____________________________

"You're going to do WHAT!!!!!!!!!"

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 7:56:08 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		When someone either doubts their abilities to the point that it affects them emotionally
OR
when they doubt their self worth to the point that they assume others agree and are treating them likewise.

Both of these are manifestations of fear.

All of us doubt our abilities and all of us doubt our self worth from time to time. It's when we let these things interfere with our path that insecurity manifest itself. It's rather like the difference between being afraid and being a coward. Being afraid is simply being afraid. Being a coward is fear preventing us from doing what we know we should. Being brave is action in the face of fear. In my opinion, that is.

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 9/27/2006 7:59:52 AM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 8:08:03 AM   
suraya


Posts: 22
Joined: 7/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: diamonddreamlove

insecurity is doubting your own self worth and many times that is involved in a relationship not believing the other values you as much as you wish to feel valued.  May not be the definition for all but is the definition for me.


this is so painfully true with myself, i always think that my Sir does not feel for me what i feel for Him or that i am not important to Him or worthy of His time.  i know this is on me not Him.  also, at first i was not exactly sure where i stood in O/our relationship, after sitting down with Him and He defined it, i am now much more comfortable and secure with U/us.  and for me yes, it is fear also, fear that i am not good enough, pretty enough, whatever, always thinking that there is some other girl around the corner who will be "perfect".  thank god He doesn't want perfect and is happy with me, lol.

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 8:34:54 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline 		Insecurity can also be used as a goad-especially in a relationship based on the performance of the bottom. She knows that if she slacks off-her value to the master will decrease-so it keeps her on her toes.

< Message edited by Frank01 -- 9/27/2006 8:35:13 AM >

(in reply to suraya)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 9:05:32 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I think its interesting how we automatically assume that being insecure is somehow a negative personality trait.

If one is reflective about it, I don't see that its necessarily a bad thing.  Personally, I'm very insecure. I know that, and can talk about it, and try to be aware when I'm acting out of insecurity rather than more rational motives.  But, these are all things I do out of respect for others and the desire not to project my own fears onto the world.  Its a boundary maintenence strategy.

And yes, insecurity can be a powerful fuel for a D/s dynamic so long as the parties involved are aware of whats going on. 



(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 9:16:20 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I asked questions a and b because they came up in other post that I was reading. I think a person who is full of self doubts is a insecure person.

(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Insecure - 9/27/2006 9:37:54 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		insecure is when you hold on too tight.


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Insecure Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.093