Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Age


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Age Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 9:06:47 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nycboyy

I find it interesting how many profiles have age limits. I think part of my 35 year old depression was reading profile after profile from attractive women with "NO MEN OVER 35". It seemed that 35 was some magical cut off date.I have been told I look younger than my age,but that may just be people being polite.I certainly embrace youth and youthful pursuits. I have also come by many profiles stating no one "UNDER 40". Seems I just can't win. I understand people wanting to connect with peers from their age groups etc etc. Im also almost postive that many young and attractive women get bombarded with mail from suitors 70 and up(and that IS old). I guess I just wanted to say that age CAN certainly be a factor.But weve certainly met younger people that are very mature and wise,as well as older people that never really grew up.


This is an excellent point. While I understand that everyone is of course entitled to their preferences, I too have noticed a far more rigid line regarding ideal age ranges of late. I will see a female anywhere from eighteen to fifty. Numerical age matters little; authenticity is far more important to me.

That being said, what many are truly looking for is not a Master, Mistress, servant or slave. The "BDSM lifestyle" has become another venue for dating and mating under a wickedly hip skin. For many, I feel the term "Master" or "Mistress" ultimately takes a secondary role to "boyfriend" or "girlfriend."

Is it a collar or an engagement ring one ultimately seeks? Does one search for an owner and mentor or a social ornament acceptable to their family and peers? Is one seeking a Master or a "soulmate?" Is one seeking a Mistress or a two-dimensional cardboard cut-out of his masturbatory fantasies? These questions, and others like them, should be mulled over with sober personal reflection.




< Message edited by amayos -- 9/28/2006 9:09:34 AM >

(in reply to nycboyy)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 9:08:45 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: nycboyy

I find it interesting how many profiles have age limits. I think part of my 35 year old depression was reading profile after profile from attractive women with "NO MEN OVER 35". It seemed that 35 was some magical cut off date.I have been told I look younger than my age,but that may just be people being polite.I certainly embrace youth and youthful pursuits. I have also come by many profiles stating no one "UNDER 40". Seems I just can't win. I understand people wanting to connect with peers from their age groups etc etc. Im also almost postive that many young and attractive women get bombarded with mail from suitors 70 and up(and that IS old). I guess I just wanted to say that age CAN certainly be a factor.But weve certainly met younger people that are very mature and wise,as well as older people that never really grew up.


This is an excellent point. While I understand that everyone is of course entitled to their preferences, I too have noticed a far more rigid line regarding ideal age ranges of late. I will see a female anywhere from eighteen to fifty. Numerical age matters little; authenticity is far more important.

That being said, what many are truly looking for is not a Master, Mistress, servant or slave. The "BDSM lifestyle" has become another venue for dating and mating under a fashionably hip skin. For many, I feel the term "Master" or "Mistress" ultimately takes a secondary role to "boyfriend" or "girlfriend."

Is it a collar or an engagement ring one ultimately seeks? Does one search for an owner and mentor or a social ornament acceptable to their family and peers? Is one seeking a Master or a "soulmate?" Is one seeking a Mistress or a two-dimensional cardboard cut-out of his masturbatory fantasies? These questions, and others like them, should be mulled over with sober personalreflection.


The concept of "ownership" is alien to most. It's a sex game.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 9:14:51 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

The concept of "ownership" is alien to most. It's a sex game.


It is not without some degree of regret that I must concur with that statement.

(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 9:16:01 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

The concept of "ownership" is alien to most. It's a sex game.


It is not without some degree of regret that I must concur with that statement.


Buck up friend-there are still a stubborn few out there.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 9:34:58 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_550824/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#550893
Does age matter in a sub?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_441624/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#441638
Does age make experience?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_389399/mpage_2/key_age/tm.htm#389616
Age since weight is being done

http://www.collarchat.com/m_366036/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#366124
Should age matter for a sub?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_336445/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#336457
Yes another ? about age

http://www.collarchat.com/m_325491/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#325694
Does age difference matter?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_290637/mpage_2/key_age/tm.htm#291554
What is the oldest dom you would consider?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_220984/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#220997
What is it with girls having masters double their ages?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_209024/mpage_3/key_age/tm.htm#212527
Does age matter? (2)


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to nycboyy)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 9:55:57 AM   
Kirei


Posts: 146
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		  Age for me is not a big thing.  I do have it lucky that I do not look my age either, but then I try to take care of myself too.  I try to look at the person and their own personal experience.  Some young people have gone through a lot and so seem older or wiser.  There are older people that still just do not get it.  
  Personally I see it as fear taking hold.  I mean as an artist I love Paul Rubens style, but finding models is very hard because they don't think it will look good.  Thats fear=false evidence appearing real.  With all the fear that is broadcast in the world today, in papers, tv, etc....it no wonder its hard to make connections with people.  I just hope I'm not the only one who sees this.

Koneko

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 10:13:47 AM   
Eir


Posts: 118
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline 		Well... my boyfriend is 20 years older then I am that makes him 41 and I am 21 years old... age is not an issue for me... and never has... I blame it on my parents but there is a 29 year gap beween my mother and bloodfather

_____________________________

With best regards from the dark corners of my twisted mind

(in reply to nycboyy)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 10:25:03 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I had a super party when I turned 30 -- total adult now, no one treat me like a child

Then I get told that I look like I'm in my upper 20s still even though I just turned 37. I guess not wearing make-up and using sunscreen or not going out in the sun much helped? I also don't wear nylons and high heels, I dress professional or casual but always comfortable and functional.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to nycboyy)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 10:32:13 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

For many, I feel the term "Master" or "Mistress" ultimately takes a secondary role to "boyfriend" or "girlfriend."



I am not exactly sure how this comment fits in with the age discussion.. but I will bite.

Just because I want someone who I feel is mature enough to take control and responsibility of me in a D/s fashion, makes me looking for a boyfriend and not a Master?

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 10:41:27 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

For many, I feel the term "Master" or "Mistress" ultimately takes a secondary role to "boyfriend" or "girlfriend."



I am not exactly sure how this comment fits in with the age discussion.. but I will bite.

Just because I want someone who I feel is mature enough to take control and responsibility of me in a D/s fashion, makes me looking for a boyfriend and not a Master?


I agree, Red. Not to mention I see nothing wrong with looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend first, if that is the way you choose to live your "lifestyle". Not everyone wants or needs a 24/7 relationship, but having a partner who understands your tendancies (ie- someone who is already into bdsm) is invaluable.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 10:49:29 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		I have always dated all over the age spectrum; eleven to twenty years younger, thirteen years older…
 
Of late, I’m very good friends with a Domme who I adore playing with.  She’s married to a Dominant; they both beat me from time to time; she’s 33, he just turned 40.  I’m 58…  There is no difference in her ability to dominate me than his; which kind of surprises me.  She’s my son’s age!  …but very, very dominant.
 
These days, I keep saying I prefer guy’s closer to my own age, but I keep getting approached by men from 30-something to forty-ish with the occasional 50-60 something thrown in.  I know a couple of very vigorous 70-somethings, too…
 
All things considered; I most often prefer men younger, because there are just too many people who consider themselves old at 50.  I’m 58 and I’m NOT old, dammit!  I’m tickled pink to have just found someone here who is 59 and also quite young and active.  In fact, he’s HOT!  I’m anxious to see how it goes if we actually meet.
 
Anyway, for my vote I say age is an individual thing.  Obviously some are wise beyond their years at 30-something and others just plain old at 50-ish.  Then there are the odd ones who never grow up and are just too young at even 45. Go figure.
 
WEG,
bearlee

Edited to add:
Oh, and I want my Dominant/Owner to love me, guide me, lead me...and laugh with me, play with me, have fun with me.  I want to love him...AND live a 24/7 D/s relationship. 

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 9/28/2006 10:54:04 AM >

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 11:24:54 AM   
lilsky


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/7/2004
Status: offline 		Age to me is just a number that we tack onto ourselves that really says very little if anything about who we are. Everybody grows and matures at their own rate and in their own ways due to the experiences they've had in life and the way they were able to deal with those experiences. As far as age in relationships, it wasn't that long ago that not only was it okay to have a major age gap between partners it was actually almost expected.

MasterC's 22 year old brat

< Message edited by lilsky -- 9/28/2006 11:33:43 AM >

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 11:38:43 AM   
hypnoticblue


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline 		I don't have a problem with age as long as they are legal, and younger than my father.  :)  I'm 26, my dad is 48.  There. 

(in reply to lilsky)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 11:39:54 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		At the ripe juicy age of 44 I have yet to hit an age that bothers me. I just love life so its all good.

As far as a significant other, age is not particularly high on my "give a shit" list either. There are many other qualities that take priority. 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to nycboyy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 11:42:54 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilsky

Age to me is just a number that we tack onto ourselves that really says very little if anything about who we are.


Actually, age is not just a number. It is an indicator of how many years of life you have lived. What you have accomplished or experienced during those years is indeed very individual to you as a person. But it is still more than just a number that someone attached to you and said.. hey this is how old your gonna be. There is nothing arbitrary about age. And I amazed that it seems like the only ones who throw that phrase around are 20 somethings who think it makes them sound more mature.

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to lilsky)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 11:50:19 AM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		Was just talking about this the other night. I'm turning 40 very soon and can feel it coming.

I don't really have age limits beyond not being under 18 but I am most certainly looking for maturity.

To certain folks up thread decrying a bdsm relationship also being a romantic relationship, what concern is it of yours? Is anyone trying to force you to take your sub/slave out on a date? What happened to not judging other people and the lifestyle that works for them?

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 11:53:57 AM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline 		Disagree if you want but I think age is just a number too, im 21 and my Master is 55. Some may think that is totally wrong but it works for us. There are things that are more important then how long you have been alive.

_____________________________

owned by painarranger

I am His loyal slave

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 12:05:44 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I agree, age isn't just a number. My Daddy is 15 years older than me, I wouldn't be with Him if He were my age. I'm talking about the same person, just 15 years younger. He's a different person than He was, and a different person than He will be. Where He is now, at 40, suits me.
 
There is one other thing to consider...as there are a few of us on the boards dealing with death, at the moment. How long can you realistically expect to have them in your life? That's definitely something I think long and hard about.
 
Besides, when He retires, I'll be 15 years behind Him...not to mention that the retirement age will probably increase in those years.
 
I'm a child of a marriage with an age disparity. Realistically, age is more than a number, but just one of a number of deciding factors when entering a serious relationship.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 12:10:23 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

For many, I feel the term "Master" or "Mistress" ultimately takes a secondary role to "boyfriend" or "girlfriend."



I am not exactly sure how this comment fits in with the age discussion.


Hello Red,

So-called dating proclivities have everything to do with the age discussion. From my experience, those who predicate their search upon more traditional mate-based criteria often do make age compatibility a factor, among other things. The growing trend of age preference, or "dating" within one's age group may be indicative of a subset of mainstream influence, which tends to see BDSM as a singles in latex depot.

I feel numerical age his little to do with one's ability to master or be mastered. If your priority is finding a stereotypically ideal boyfriend or girlfriend who's simply open to being kinky, age often does become a supporting factor, and rightfully so, based upon your agenda.

Of course, sometimes a preference is merely a preference, and nothing more.

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Age - 9/28/2006 12:17:32 PM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette


 
There is one other thing to consider...as there are a few of us on the boards dealing with death, at the moment. How long can you realistically expect to have them in your life? That's definitely something I think long and hard about.
 


I will agree with you there. I love my Master and being with him and his age really dosent bother me but there is that apect to it. But it is one I try not too think about too much and enjoy the time that we have now. I know that reality is there, im not in denial over it, I just dont let it rule my relationship.

_____________________________

owned by painarranger

I am His loyal slave

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Age Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078