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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/28/2006 10:16:19 PM   
DiurnalVampire


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Titles all depend on who is using them.  I became Goddess only when I met my boy.  Before that no one had ever used that term with me.  I have always been Maam to someone, be it in the lifestyle or in the Dojo. I dislike Mistress, so I have never used it.
Personally, though, Ive never really put much stock into titles.  What someone calls you doesnt effect how you are with them. I dont need to be constantly reminded of my position at the end of every sentence, and the title is only realy used when we are involved in some play or another.  ASide from that, I am quite happy on the first name basis.

DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 4:44:16 AM   
Wolfie648


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

In a previous post titled :"how did you know you were Dom", several people mentioned that being Dom wasnt self proclaimed, that a person knows they are Dom when others look to them as a Dom and respect them.

This is a notion that I firmly beleive in when it comes to D/S. So for the purposes of perspective and discussion, I wanted to take that notion further and ask "What earns a person the title of Sir or Master?"


The last thing on earth I need is for someone else to proclaim I am anything. I define myself in terms of who I am and how I interact with the world. As to how the world interacts with me - different story.

I'm not saying everyone needs to be like me - I'm just saying that I do it this way they do it that way; and as long as noone is hurting anyone against their will then the game is on.

It's not earned. It's who you are or are not. And it takes some experience for most to find out how or who they are with regards to D/s.

D (owner of j).

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 6:02:16 AM   
MsKatHouston


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For me the use of Sir and Ma'am is to be used to just about anyone.  Not only is it something I prefer submissives to do when in a relationship with me, I'm from the south and it is pretty common.  I find it a form of address that is respectful and one I like.  I do not limit submissives to this though.  I call just about everyone Sir and Ma'am too whether they are dominant or submissive.  If I have a close relationship with someone, I call them their name. 

Master and Mistress I see as different, though.  My submissive can only call me those titles and would do so when they feel it is time to do so.  I do not require it.  I suppose I feel I have earned it when I have conducted myself in a manner which is recognized by my submissive as earning it. 

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 7:03:32 AM   
MrDiscipline44


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Amen to that.

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 9:03:49 AM   
JackHammer2000


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I just posted a thread asking the same question in the Ask a Submissive forum.

I'm exploring the lifestyle to see if this is for me.

I've read through the responses here so far, and am grateful for this thread.  I think everyone who posted here (so far) have really good arguments, and help me see more sides to the issue in a very short amount of time.

Thanks to you A/all!

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 9:31:35 AM   
Kinkypupper


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Sir is a title of Respect.
Master is a  title offered to their "Master" by the person who has desired to become their slave

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 9:43:36 AM   
wild1cfl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper

Sir is a title of Respect.
Master is a  title offered to their "Master" by the person who has desired to become their slave

Now this I can agree with,  the only problem I see is that so many men on here use "Master" in their profile and yet have no one as their slave, and they have no experience with a M/s or D/s relationship.

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My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 10:40:19 AM   
MrRodgers


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I eschew the use of titles or labels until they are earned. Those titles are earned when the sub/slaves feel it within them and sincerely desire to address their man as master or even Sir. I believe that no one should 'require' their partner if they have one, to use a title. When any women has addressed me with a any title, master, Sir or even womanizer, slut...sadist, it has always been on her own.

I do not use or even request the use of the 'title' of master here...I have no slave...and like any other profiler here, until we do...we are NO master. Iam a prospective master...a former master...but not Iam not one now. Without a slave, just what does one master ?

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 1:20:16 PM   
Estring


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There is really no criteria for when you earn the title of Master or Sir. Most just decide to give themselves this title (especially Master). It's pretty silly really.
My slave calls me Master because in her eyes I am her Master. I would never give myself such a title though.


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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 1:37:16 PM   
tade


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I tend to call anyone older than me Sir or Ma'am just because of how I was raised. My Mother (a truely sadistic Dominant if ever there was one) would slap me to this day if she saw me do otherwise. This has lead to some pretty funny looks when speaking with an older submissive at play parties if it just slips out.

We have 1 slave who is the only one that in my eyes has earned the right to call me Master, though it is not required. Sometimes submissives (or those who just think themselves submissives) like to call us Master or Mistress because they think that is what is required, and I'll let it go for awhile, but in the long run I prefer Sir. As I said, only 1 so far has earned the right to call me Master.

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 1:42:13 PM   
MASTERRocker


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A MASTERS degree at University of Life.....
MASTER Rocker

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 3:50:35 PM   
MadRabbit


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Thank you all very much. I appreciate everyone's opinion and its given me a lot of feedback into developing my own perspective

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/29/2006 7:32:42 PM   
Voltare


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Well, I've seen a lot of shorter answers, so I'll toss in my two cents worth.

Like most folks have said, it really comes down to how you feel about it, and the group of people you're around.  I'm offering some definitions I jotted down off the top of my head just now, but please understand these are basic and general - if you ask ten people what a slave is, you'll get ten answers.  Ask ten people what the difference between a slave and a submissive is, and you'll get twenty answers.  Also, for sake of brevity, my fingers, and my experience, I am not including specific terms that are unique to the Gay or Lesbian community. 

To understand the titles, a little vocabulary is in order: 

D/s (Domination/submission) usually refers to the type of a relationship between two (sometimes more) people.  Typically one will be in a controlling role, the other in a submission role.  This is usually personality oriented, though it can be role played - a pretend role - for specific situations.

M/s (Master/slave) this is generally considered a more aggressive Ds relationship, where the Dominant is expected to assume a greater degree of control and authority, while the submissive/slave has an expectation of a higher degree of obedience, either on  a constant basis, or under a strict regimen.   There is no clear line between a Ds and Ms relationship, and an Ms relationship is most certainly a type of Ds relationship, though not all Ds couples practice Ms interaction.

TPE (Total Power Exchange) is sometimes used instead of Ms, to refer to an Ms relationship.

BDSM (Bondage, Domination/Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) an all encompassing term that more commonly refers to the specific activities people engage in, such as spanking, whipping, bondage, (list ad infinitum.)  It's important to note that folks who engage in BDSM activities aren't necessarily interested in Ds - these are commonly called players or fetishists, amongst other names.  Likewise, people involved in Ds relationship have no obligation to engage in BDSM activities, though the vast majority of lifestylers will use a healthy mix of the two.

Sadist:  Someone who enjoys giving pain and/or bondage

Masochist:  Someone who enjoys receiving pain and/or bondage

Sadomasochist:  Someone who enjoys giving or receiving pain or bondage.

Switch:  A catch all phrase that addresses individuals who enjoy both dominant and/or submissive roles.  Note this can refers to relationship roles both in the short and long term.  As the combinations are numerous, brief common examples might include
a) a bisexual woman who enjoys submitting to men, but dominating other women
b) a heterosexual man who is submissive to dominant women, and dominant to submissive women
c) a heterosexual woman who enjoys dominating most men, but is submissive to only one man
d) a homosexual masochist man who prefers to be the dominant in a romantic relationship, but is submissive in a strictly sexual relationship

Dominant:  Any male or female who generally prefers the dominant emotional role in a relationship.  Often males are referred to in short as Doms, while females are often referred to as Dommes.

Dominatrix:  Commonly refers to a female Dominant who offers strictly BDSM oriented services for a fee.  Also called a Pro-Domme (with Pro-Sub referring to a female submissive in the same capacity)

Master:  Most commonly associated with a title expected by a Dominant from his slave, as well as a general term for a male Dominant within formalized or structured BDSM circles.  Note that generally the title is used almost exclusively by the actual slave of a Dominant male by his own slaves, though there are numerous exceptions (male dominants who identify themselves as Gorean, for example, will always expect that all Gorean identified slaves refer to him as Master.)  While there are many exceptions, it is generally considered poor etiquette to demand to be called by any title, unless there has already been a negotiation of such protocol i.e. for a scene, or for the purposes of a specific situation.

Mistress:  Female term for Master, and does not in any way imply the woman is a lover, or in any way sexually involved with a slave.

Sir:  Commonly used in place of Master for Ds relationships that are more formal, but not specifically TPE or Ms oriented.

Daddy:  Generally used in a specific type of Ds relationship, commonly known as 'Daddy/babygirl' where the submissive takes on the role of a younger girl (or boy in the Mommy/littleboy version) and the Daddy assumes a parental aspect, in addition to the normal Ds interaction.  This often includes a degree of ageplay, though incest is not implicitly implied.  I've heard submissives say 'I have a father and love him dearly, but my Daddy takes care of me.' 

I hope this helps a bit.

Stephan


< Message edited by Voltare -- 9/29/2006 7:37:48 PM >


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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/30/2006 7:01:38 AM   
MastrVran


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There is no way for anyone to earn a title in this lifestyle that means anything outside your own narrow group. Now for some people who spend tremendous amounts of time and energy writing, speaking or becoming known in the lifestyle, they can take on the appearance of possibly deserving a title. And some people will see them as holding that title. Have they earned it? Perhaps. But realistically, most titles or things we call each other has little to do really with what we have earned. Its more about who and what we are.

If you are submissive in nature and think of yourself as submissive, is there a magic number of people you must submit to in order to achieve the "title" submissive? Same for Dominant....at what point in your being dominant does this change into you are now a Master.

We the group you associate with have decided by a close margin that you deserve the title of Master...go forth and use this title for good not evil. Is this in some way worth anything really? Other than maybe in our own little group? If you now walk into a different group in a different state...they will immediately recognize your title because of what? Because they know how hard you have worked to achieve this level? Because they know Good old Master Bob who recomended you for Masterhood? The obvious answer is a title is worthless no matter who bestows it on you...other than perhaps inside your own group.

Now...there is a big difference between a title..self proclaimed or imposed by your group or friends and a descriptive term or word that describes who you are, how you think, what your desires are, how you react or even how you live.

Now if you ask me what I am...in the lifestyle, the answer is clearly and without compromise that I am a Master. Am I one because Bob told me so with the full backing of the Master's of the Universe fan club? Um...no. I am one because of how I think, what I do, and how I live. I have perhaps earned the title over the many years I have been involved in the lifestyle. Most people in my area know of me. Some respect me and what I am. Some dont. But THEY cant decide what I am. They can only decide if they agree with me.

I have over the years taught many submissives things, some I have owned, some just trained. Does this automatically grant me some title? No. But calling myself a Master isnt done because I deserve it in someones opinion. Its done simple because thats who and what I am. I own (control and have control of slaves), I am dominant in my life and require submission from those who I own. This to me makes me a Master. If that doesnt meet with your own definition or approval, Why would I or anyone else allow your beliefs to change mine when I have been living this for many years.

So anyway, have I earned a title of Master or Sir? Maybe. To me and mine I simply am Master.

MastrVran 

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/30/2006 7:50:24 AM   
Lordandmaster


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I think people are making more of this issue than there really is.

A master is someone who owns a slave.
A slave is someone who is owned by a master.

That's all there is to it.

Why do we complicate something that really isn't complicated?  I think it's because we're unsure that what we're doing is right, so we need some sort of external confirmation.  Am I really a master?  Oh, well, if all the members of Secret Pleasures Weekend Suburban BDSM Club say I am, then by golly I must be a master.

That's silly.  It's your life, not anyone else's.  Do you decide whether you like ham sandwiches based on what the people in Secret Pleasures order at a munch?  Laugh.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 9/30/2006 7:51:01 AM >

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/30/2006 8:52:01 AM   
Iskander


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
I think people are making more of this issue than there really is.

A master is someone who owns a slave.


Yoda had slaves?



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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/30/2006 9:33:12 AM   
Lordandmaster


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That little muffucker had a whole private life y'all didn't know about.

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 9/30/2006 10:55:46 AM   
tade


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From: Tampa Bay, Florida
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So it's agreed that Yoda was a pimp... Manlaw??

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It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 10/1/2006 3:17:16 AM   
mons


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greetings to all
 
being called sir is something many submissive or slaves will do but to earn the title of master is something very different. i talk to many doms and found some to not have this tiltle of master on who hold this title is one who is in control of himself and his slaves or submissive he has honor and does nto play the games of sending out message about slave to his submissive he had strenght just to use his words or voice he proects his own he does nto play games with other hearts if he choices one person or 10 each will have his love and power that is does nto play games with. he is a man who will stand up and say what is wrong with something. and not back down becaus he thinks others will not be his firends. he is like a knight who holds his home as a castle nothing or no one can chnage his thought because they are his own,
 
not all can be this you must earn it you can not just go and say i am a master it takes years of learnig how to give life lesson to you submissive or slaves this i hold to be true
 
mons

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RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? - 10/1/2006 4:44:45 AM   
koimizu


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In the humble opinion of this sub, it honestly varies.

Earning a title is akin to earning respect in  many ways to me.  While not safe to assume that every Dominant is a 'master' of anything or anyone, in many ways it is subconsciously acknowledged at times.

For myself, being a southern gal *raises hand in recognition of all those who hail from that same area*  Sir/Ma'am was as natural to say as hello.  The fact that my father and his father were military only re-inforced that all the more.

Now the title Master is a personal choice for bestowing.  For some Dom/es, they have it as part of Their names/titles so one would call Them MasterLouis, MasterofBeasts and such because of that naming.  For others, there is a tangible air about Them that in Their presence and having spoken to Them, the word Master or Mistress feels like an unshakable reality of who They are.

Still, it depends on preferences.  Personal or otherwise.

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