Emperor1956 -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/28/2006 3:55:42 PM)
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Bearlee, I'll answer your OP from My perspective. holly is very service oriented. While I have in the past had service-oriented submissives, in this relationship it is much more at the fore. We are still working out how that service kink can best be used in our relationship. We are planning a trip together, for instance, and I have "tasked" her with most of the travel arrangements. I greatly enjoy both giving the assignments and receiving the results, and when we take the trip I suspect that the service "performance" will be very important to us both. I cannot imagine making up unneeded tasks for her (or any submissive, really). She is incredibly busy (loving mom and spouse, caring and involved daughter, full time graduate student, active community volunteer and devoted submissive -- I can hardly imagine more time/stress demands!) and I would feel snarky making up busywork. Moreover, I doubt I'd get any gratification from it. She knows that she has certain regular tasks (examples include preparing lunches when we meet, communicating with Me daily) and she receives and performs her extraordinary "tasks" as well. That service makes My life easier and makes both of us happy. What I find interesting about service submission is that it is a component of D/s that if you don't get it, you just don't get it. I have had a long time in WIIWD, and I've had deep, loving relationships with those without a service kink, and those with, and there is a real gulf between the two. I have had discussions with non-service oriented kinky people who cannot imagine her or Me obtaining gratification out of her service to Me. The submissives don't conceive of a service component with their Dominant partners (other than serving them sexually), and the Doms can't imagine "wasting" a willing submissive's time on this service stuff (usually, not always, they think its about sex too). Non service folks think I'm kidding when I describe one lovely evening in our relationship consisting of her cooking and serving Me a meal, and then her waiting (sitting/kneeling) beside Me as I read or work, focusing on her service to Me. Service folks "get it." E. (to be clear, this "service stuff" doesn't preclude sex! But it puts it in a different framework.)
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