RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (Full Version)

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deltadawn -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/29/2006 5:51:52 AM)

Tasks are given to me when they are needed to be given, earlier in the relationship they were regularly given and were part of the "deeper surrender".  Now the tasks that were once given are expected to be done. 

Every once and again he will come up with something for me to do and that just thrills me.  Usually it is something that takes a great deal of time to accomplish and I feel rewarded by having to really focus on things other than the house, the job, and the unmentionables.  I think that is the reason he gives me the task in the first place.

dawn



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/29/2006 10:36:58 AM)

I have done this, (tasked a submissive/slave) and will continue to do so.  I am in the M/s relationship camp, so I will refer to the "s" side as *slave*.
Although the task is meant to keep the slave focused, for Me it also has a deeper purpose.  Ability to make the extra effort and show obedience and a good "follow through" ethic.  Some may consider this micro-managing, and perhaps it is in a way.  But it is also a learning curve, especially in the beginning, and shows the willingness.
I could give specific examples, but I prefer not to do that.
For example, if I give a slave a task, with a reasonable time to complete this, and it is not completed, but I hear excuses or "I tried but..." this may be an indication to Me that this is not important enough, therefore disobedience ensues.  I always try to not give anything that is too hard, and try to give enough time to get things completed.  I also work to make the tasks something that is beneficial to the slave's growth.
Obedience is important to Me.  If I see consistent failing along with excuses, I have to take this as a lack of priority and a personal decision on the slave's part that My request is not that important.    I have had some question why the tasks are no longer given.  Unfortunately, it is hard, as a Dominant, to continue to task a "trainee", when the original tasks were never completed.  What is the point? 
It is hard, sometimes even heartbreaking, on both sides of the whip.

** Edited to add **

quote:

ORIGINAL: deltadawn

Tasks are given to me when they are needed to be given, earlier in the relationship they were regularly given and were part of the "deeper surrender". 

 
I like this, and it goes along with My learning curve comment.  Thank you for expressing it so well.



Tangler -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/29/2006 10:48:59 AM)

I rarely give Dawn tasks just to keep her busy.  She has been mine for a long enough time that she knows what is expected.   Domestic chores are to be done, Personal needs are to be taken care of, Rules are to be followed unless there is some reason they could not be, and I am to be kept smiling. 
 
When a task needs to be handed down it is handed down and completion of that task is expected.  An example may be when Dawn wanted to try something in our play that I felt somewhat unsure of.  The task, of course, was to research it, gain feedback, and then bring that back to me.
 
Good Day
Tangler
 

 
 



SIRBZ -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/29/2006 10:53:25 AM)

I have a slave who wishes to be trained because she has an attitude, and I would like to know what kind of tasks are suitable.  This is an on-line training which is something I am not accustomed to, as I would not have problems if it was R/T.  Any suggestions would be appreciated



slavejlb -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/29/2006 11:00:25 AM)

pray and good luck all my master can tell you that the Sam is just part of her personality
so sit back enjoy the ride, and be patient
take care and be saf/e
slave jlb



firefey -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/29/2006 11:13:20 AM)

deffine attitude.  is she mouthy, does she talk back, is she always very negative?  and if you were training her r/t what would you do?  can you modify any of that to her situation?
 
but without knowing what attitudes you're talking about, there's not much to recomend.



LadyHugs -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/29/2006 11:15:14 AM)

Dear SIRBZ, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
On line training, in my mind's eye is really depending on the honesty of the other person on the other side of a monitor.
 
In my mind's eye, real life is the only way to train but, exchange of policy, ideas and such won't be lost.  However, there is no way discipline, honesty, cheating and such; can be monitored or administered, as far as 'your will.'
 
It is bad enough when one parts company, one going to their home and the other to their home--there is no full proof guarentee that there will be no cheating, rules are kept and so forth.
 
Hopefully, those you come across will be honest.  But, expect the unexpected.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



SIRBZ -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/29/2006 11:47:05 AM)

firefly,
  by attitude I mean that she has stated she wants to be trained because her former master constaantly complained thta she would not do things that were expected and simply did not feel like doing.  Since she has contacted Me and asked for help, I have had excuses about her being sick and the doctors want her to take meds and exercise and she doesn't want to. I have the impression that she is just rebellous. The other problem is that I tell her to be on-line at times and she is not there and says she fell asleep but PLEASE I want to be trained.



SIRBZ -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/29/2006 11:49:56 AM)

Lady Hugs,
  I am about to agree with you concerning real life, she does have a web so I can see what is going on, but not being there all the time does make it difficult. I will try for a while and see if I can get her to follow orders
Thanks for the response



agirl -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/29/2006 12:33:09 PM)

I see what you mean Bearlee, and much as I hate being told to do anything.....there are times when it's brilliant.

For me personally, it's because I've achieved something and I can hear him now.....* Oh, so you ENJOYED it, then?*  after I've whinged about getting something done. 

I don't have the type of relationship where *making his life easier* comes into it, as he makes his life how he wants it. If I'm *tasked* to do something, I'd still jolly well better do it.

If I'm honest, having to go to the gym five days a week, is one of those types of *tasks* .....it's what I want, it's for my own good, I hate having to GO but I am almost always so happy that I've been.. Effort is rated on a scale of 1-20 as I have a tendency to actually turn up, sometimes, but do the minimum....and I don't have a problem being honest about my *effort rating*. He can usually tell by my voice, afterwards, in any case. Each point under a *20* merits a cane stroke.. It's a workable incentive...lol

I like it when he's pleased, yes, it's nice.....and not at all painful....lol

Regards, agirl





NYMaster101 -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/30/2006 6:37:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Tasking a submissive or slave:
 
Someone earlier mentioned ‘…tasking the submissive to  whatever .’
 
Am I the only submissive who enjoys being tasked?  I like being told to do things; writing a paper, researching, cooking particular meals, polishing his boots (okay, not so excited about actually house cleaning, but you understand what I mean).  I’d like pleasing Him and making His life easier; doing things for Him.
 
Not having had a Dominant really, I’m curious as to how you deal with this.  Is it difficult to come up with stuff?  I can’t imagine that…but maybe.  Do you prefer things that make your life easier…or do you just come up with ‘busy work’? 
 
I’m curious what kinds of things both Dominants and s-types enjoy in this regard.
 
bearlee



It's lucky for me that you are not the only one. 
Posibilities are endless.



zumala -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/30/2006 7:43:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Tasking a submissive or slave:
 
Someone earlier mentioned ‘…tasking the submissive to  whatever .’
 
Am I the only submissive who enjoys being tasked?  I like being told to do things; writing a paper, researching, cooking particular meals, polishing his boots (okay, not so excited about actually house cleaning, but you understand what I mean).  I’d like pleasing Him and making His life easier; doing things for Him.


I enjoy being tasked.  Actually, I tend to be so much of a scatter brain at times that I may actually /need/ the structure to function properly.  I'm ADD and I have a tendancy to sit and think in frantic circles for HOURS, trying to decide what to do and what the best way to do it is; and which thing is most important to do first???  And of course, somewhere in there I end up distracted by some totally unrelated thought.  I drive myself crazy and end up accomplishing next to nothing.  That's very, very frustrating to me, when I do that.  And yet I have trouble /not/ doing it.
 
I like receiving tasks because it: a) lets me know that my Dom is thinking about me; b) lets me know what he deems is most important to see to and; c) lets me know what will please him best.  A "task" can be just about anything from laundry, to research online, to reading a certain book, to performing sexually.  It all depends on what HE wants, and that's why I like it.
 
zuma



charismagirrl -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/30/2006 9:31:18 AM)

In my realtionship with my Daddy/Master there are the given things that just naturally occur between us....i do the cleaning, some of the cooking, bringing him coffee etc etc.....Sometimes he'll jump in and do something and tell me "Just because you're the slave doesn't mean you have to do everything."...this is his right of course. These are just the regular things. (i love to serve him in any way like this and just knowing that i'm doing it for him makes me smile)

Then, my Daddy/Master is also my boss, he gave me a job to do at home for him. This is also regular(for us) and rewarding to have the responsbility  and to know that he's using my talents for him this way.

Then there are the tasks.... IMO these are extra little things that he has me do....Masturbate for him and write about what i thought about or felt during....watch a certain movie that he'd like me to...do a certain thing for him or for us tht is different from the usual stuff...(when i'd had a really bad day) Go do something nice for yourself.

These tasks always make me smile alot and feel different while i'm doing them . They make me feel more like i am HIS.






velvetears -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/30/2006 2:57:40 PM)

As a submissive i loved it when my ex gave me tasks. It kept me focused and was an opportunity to please him. Sometimes the tasks were for my benefit and sometimes they were for his benefit, that was for him to decide me to follow and do.  It also afforded me an opportunity to express my submission in a way that carried over a few days, so he was always in the forefront of my mind.  i think tasks are a good way to let your sub/slave feel they are thought of and valued.  It takes effort on the doms part to come up with the tasks and to oversee they are followed through.  It made me feel i had value to him.  i miss that probably more then anything else now.



LordBizwahsgirl -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/30/2006 3:31:03 PM)

I agree with what you said. To serve is a whole lot more than just sex. Its about being loyal and having a special bond.



wild1cfl -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/30/2006 3:41:48 PM)

Bearlee,
For our slaves we usually have a list of what needs to be done above and beyond their everyday activities which we have shown them from the beginning to do. Now for our submissive she is a natural at just doing things that please us whether it is rubbing our feet or getting us a drink.  We rarely have to ask anything of her as it is almost a sixth sense with her. When we do ask her for something we can see that she does it in the sense of wanting to please and we in return let her know that we are pleased.  



gypsygrl -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/30/2006 4:07:57 PM)

I love tasks. 

Not huge never ending projects that weigh on me without ever providing a feeling of completion or accomplishment, but discreet jobs that can be completed within a limited amount of time.

I don't do relationships like the other girls.  Thats why I'm here. :)  I'm not very emotional or demonstrative and can be very shy so I like being able to demonstrate my feelings by enthusiastically completing an assigned task in a timely manner.  The fact that the task is given to me eliminates a lot of worry and anxiety that the Dominant might not want my attention. 



Wildfleurs -> RE: Tasking a submissive or slave (9/30/2006 5:57:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Tasking a submissive or slave:
 
Someone earlier mentioned ‘…tasking the submissive to  whatever .’
 
Am I the only submissive who enjoys being tasked?  I like being told to do things; writing a paper, researching, cooking particular meals, polishing his boots (okay, not so excited about actually house cleaning, but you understand what I mean).  I’d like pleasing Him and making His life easier; doing things for Him.
 
Not having had a Dominant really, I’m curious as to how you deal with this.  Is it difficult to come up with stuff?  I can’t imagine that…but maybe.  Do you prefer things that make your life easier…or do you just come up with ‘busy work’? 
 
I’m curious what kinds of things both Dominants and s-types enjoy in this regard.
 
bearlee


In reading through the thread I noticed that there seemed to be some entertwining of the terms service and tasks.  To me there is a difference between being task oriented and being service oriented.  To me task oriented is more about feeling control via being told what to do (like cooking, writing, etc, etc).  I also think that task oriented can easily focus more on tasks that focus on the betterment of the submissive, while to me service is about helping things run smoother for the dominant/on behalf of the dominant.

So with that said, I tend to identify as service oriented.  Its not really hard to come up with stuff, my owner has stuff that comes up and also I can always proactively point out ways that I can be helpful (and he can choose to allow it or not).  I've got a lot going on in my life, I've got an active career that I'm really enjoying as well as volunteering on boards and the organizing stuff within the SM community.  The last thing that would be a valuable use of my time (or even my owners) is for him to sit around and try to make up stuff for me to do.  Generally stuff comes up that he either doesn't have the time to do or doesn't feel like doing and he'll have me do it.  Sometimes there's no active project or task for him, but I just enjoy that down time, since I can always find things to do.

C~



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