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Voltare -> RE: Sir wants to know...the sequal (9/29/2006 6:47:05 PM)
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Well, this is an ugly mess. I'll first echo what marieToo said - this isn't strictly a Ds issue. There are Ds aspects, so will get to that.
I'm going against the bandwagon here - there's obviously an element of safety that needs to be considered here. Anyone who's ever had a dear friend who liked to drink too much also knows that the exact wrong time to lecture is when they're drunk. I completely understand your reaction and concern for your safety, but you know approaching your Dom when he's at his worst isn't going to fix anything.
So, lets break it down. You seem to enjoy your relationship with this man, otherwise you wouldn't be asking what we think - you'd be telling us how miserable you are. That means there's some room for compromise and adjustment on both of your parts. That's great, because you're both going to have to give a little.
Your Dom is a lousy driver. It's not a big deal, my slave's mother drives like a maniac on crack at the bumper car track. I won't get in the car with her. The easy solution here is to let you drive (assuming you can and are capable.) There's even a fetish related to this, called 'chauffeuring' - but either way you cut it, there's nothing unsubmissive about driving, and nothing undomly about being a passenger. It'll set your nerves where they belong, and leave him free to do more pleasant things, like read the newspaper, eat lunch, or nap.
Second, no matter how valid your opinion is, there is a time, place, and manner to express it. Being strong willed and passionate are excellent qualities for a submissive. They also come with an inherently long learning curve. If you don't feel that you should be disciplined for the issues you're mentioning here, than odds are you need to renegotiate your relationship with your Dom. This isn't to say I don't feel any sympathy - believe me I do. I also feel sympathetic for my slave when I tell her to go clean the bathroom, but that doesn't make the bathroom need a cleaning any less. When you and your Dom are at your best, you both have the capacity to fulfill the other - your enthusiasm move him in ways he normally wouldn't, and his natural calm can ground and focus you. At your worst, you two will tear each other apart.
As this applies to the specific situation, rather than becoming angry and combative, you might try the 'honey' route - offer to drive for him, be sympathetic, and genuinely try to make the situation better for you both. Pouring vinegar over the wounds aren't likely to make the situation tolerable for either of you.
Honestly, I hope this helps.
Stephan
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