Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/29/2006 5:02:52 AM   
slavegirl1969


Posts: 69
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline 		I am very sad right now. My Dom has just accepted a new job away from me.  We are very much in love with each other and I am feeling loss because of this aspect of us but also in the D/s sense.  We now both work for one of the emergency services, I in uniform and him as a civilian.  This job is a lifestyle and has been known to suck you out of reality, so you have no life outside of work.  He is going to be living very far from me, our shifts will probably clash.  My emotions are high because of him leaving and also because of not being able to serve him any more.  I am still in training as his sub/slave and know my training will disappear and selfishly I am upset about this too.  I enjoy training so very much in all its pain and glory.  I guess what I'm asking is how should I deal with these emotions and not upset him. Should I keep quiet or tell him exactly how I feel.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/29/2006 5:07:12 AM   
pleazuredpain


Posts: 29
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline 		I am sorry you are feeling sad.  Is it not possible to transfer with him?    Going beyond that though. A relationship needs to be honest and open.  Do you feel you have the right as his submissive to hold back feelings from him?  If you can answer that, you know what you need to do.



_____________________________

"You're going to do WHAT!!!!!!!!!"

(in reply to slavegirl1969)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/29/2006 5:11:47 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		You have to let him know exactly how you feel...I am so sorry you are going through this, best of luck.

(in reply to pleazuredpain)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/29/2006 5:14:41 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Honesty is always the best way ... talk to Him.  I, personally appreciate honesty.  If I do or say something that hurts My slave, I expect her to be open about it.  you owe Him that much and more given the love.  Talk to Him.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/29/2006 6:44:09 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I am sorry for your sadness and your situation. I am inferring that since there was no mention of you moving with him that you have very significant reasons and just give yourself time to be upset but also try to focus on all the other good things in your life. Time tends to heal most wounds and I truly wish you the best.

Lin


(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/29/2006 9:04:20 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		If your both in the same service field why can't you transfer with him. What have you left out?

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/29/2006 9:45:04 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		This certainly sounds like a hard situation to be in. However, you should always be honest about your emotions. If you stuff them, they will come back to bite you in the ass. When expressing them, say things like "I feel X because of Y", not "You are making me feel X because you've done Y." The latter is accusatory and can put him on the defensive. The former is much less likely to do so, although it still may happen.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to slavegirl1969)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/30/2006 12:12:16 AM   
mystiquenz


Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline 		I read your post with a sadness.  However, you have to remain positive.  I would urge you strongly, to be honest with your Dominant about your feelings.  The situation will not change, but maybe, he will not seek another submissive from his new location, if he is aware of your feelings for him.  Dominants are not mindreaders, all of the time you know! ... lol

Sometimes, though, people come into our lives for a season, and not a life time.  You have had a wonderful teacher, a lot of positive times, and something to measure new Dominants against, as to what your standard may or may not be.  You have learnt valuable lessons, no doubt, so maybe you should be thanking him for the opportunity that he has presented to you, and move forward, with the knowledge that you are both moving forward.  You and he have now shared a history, you have your memories and the experiences.  At the end of the day, it takes two people to have a relationship, and so after you have had the conversation, you should sit back, and just ride the waves. 

I wish you well, regardless of the outcome.



_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to slavegirl1969)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/30/2006 12:30:44 AM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Honesty and respect are two of the cornerstones of bdsm.  As such telling Him how you feel is an important thing for you to do.  Only then can a solution regardless of outcome be formed and followed.  I would hate losing my Dom this way so i can only imagine how bad it must feel.  I so have trouble imagining that i would not share my feelings with the One person i have shared the most intimate part of my life with.  Talk to Him!

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to mystiquenz)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/30/2006 12:49:28 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		I would suggest telling him. Don't see what woud be so hard about that.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to slavegirl1969)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/30/2006 1:05:56 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings
 
i am sorry but why do you feel  selfish? he is the one who took the job away from you he should had made plans for you care while or until he could be with you again, dear you chould not feel selfish at all he is the one who left with giving you a time when you will meet again
 
mons

(in reply to slavegirl1969)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/30/2006 3:40:47 AM   
ClassAct2006


Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		Poor you. Can't you just move to where he is going to be? I think D/S relationships don't need to be any different from others in terms of life, living together etc. If you get on that well and are that close why not just find a job near where he is going to be?

(in reply to slavegirl1969)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/30/2006 4:40:39 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		If you have a loving relationship and made plans to be together long term,  perhaps it's a good time to ask him why he accepted a job that requires him to relocate.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to slavegirl1969)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates - 9/30/2006 4:52:23 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		It seems to me that by his actions, he may be trying to end the relationship. I can't imagine he wouldn't know that his taking this job would also affect you and the relationship in a negative way.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to slavegirl1969)
Profile   Post #: 14
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> right place to ask this? when a Master Relocates Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094