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BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 5:42:48 PM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
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This is a thread I thought up after dinner this evening, reflecting on how I first started out in this lifestyle/way. In 94, I picked up a copy of Wiseman's SM101 in a porn shop, and it pretty much snowballed from there. That was about 4 years before I found the local munch and the internet. I found that book most instrumental in helping lay a good structural foundation for Myself. Would be interesting to hear other's views on what first brought them to BDSM.. Thanks

< Message edited by SirLordTrainer -- 10/2/2006 5:43:48 PM >

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 5:47:38 PM

OhReallyNow

Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer

This is a thread I thought up after dinner this evening, reflecting on how I first started out in this lifestyle/way. In 94, I picked up a copy of Wiseman's SM101 in a porn shop, and it pretty much snowballed from there. That was about 4 years before I found the local munch and the internet. I found that book most instrumental in helping lay a good structural foundation for Myself. Would be interesting to hear other's views on what first brought them to BDSM.. Thanks

Hmm, this slave's first Master brought her within the realm She was 18 at the time and had no idea what she was getting into to lol. Master was very patient though, and helped her though the following years.

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 6:09:59 PM

swtsouthernsub

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Joined: 12/23/2004
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i always new there was something different about me and my need to always be helpful and pleasing to others disreguarding my own needs never could put a name to it but was introduced to the wiseman 101 book as well in 2000 it helped me a great deal then i read the anne rice books i cried i laughed and i ached to be sleeping beauty

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Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart,
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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 6:30:23 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

Would be interesting to hear other's views on what first brought them to BDSM.. Thanks

Raging hormones & pure lust, a wild and reckless nature, frustration with 'boring' sex, drug addiction, getting my first motorcycle and hanging around bikers, a love of bondage and other kinky things, a warped sense of humor, a couple of novels that changed the way I think about things in general and probably some other stuff thrown in for good measure.

Oh, that's in no particular order. ;)

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 6:41:06 PM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Hmmmmm, well being the late bloomer that I am I should be able to answer this easily but I find that is not the case. Please forgive me for being long winded, in advance.

Growing up in podunk Iowa my exposure to anything out of the VERY vanilla realm was non-existant. In addition to a pregnancy and shotgun marriage at age 16 that I managed to hang onto for 8sih years (odd I cannot exactly remember when that mess ended any more) Then after a couple of years flying solo and working 18-20 hour days being a mom I got married again to a VERY vanilla guy. Just a super nice decent kinda guy that any woman would love to have as a life partner and coparenting with. After I finally had everything the way it "should" be and could stop whirling around enough to take a deep breath and think about myself I realized I was not the happy camper I should be. I had spent so much time and energy being everything to everybody I totally ignored my own happiness. After hopping into the whole lesbian thing and getting some light play introduced by my first girlfriend, then a good friend, a domina from California kept pushing me, telling me I was. At first I had some really warped preconcieved ideas of what BDSM was, trust me, I thought anyone into that shit was some sick motherfuckers!! But, you know, I just kept getting drawn back to it, like a magnet. I was pretty freaked out at first. Total self denial. Then thru more experimenting and actually getting to know some real live people as human beings it began to be alot less scary and alot more..WOW. My next girl would be the one that really popped the top off the can of worms. I had known her as a good friend prior to any sort of relationship or mention of BDSM so it just flowed naturally. Yes there have been some minor freak outs, fortunately she has always been too intimidated to bring them up face to face so my reaction was tempered by having to answer her email rather than have her see my face. She had some serious family stuff come up last year that drew us apart for several months and we have just begun to reconnect recently. In that few months I think I have had more AH HA moments and learned more than any of the 43+ years prior. Granted I am still as green as spring grass when it comes to putting stuff to practice. But now I feel alot more confident I can keep my head and not cause any irrepreble damage. Last year, I was not so sure. You should have seen my face when my ex "suprised" me with my first trip to a play party!!

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 7:37:33 PM

MasterC46910

Posts: 108
Joined: 4/17/2006
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In 1971 was dating a girl that, unbeknown to me, was a sub/bottom in a small BD group. She seen something in me. Talked to the other members of the group and they decided to approach me. Been at it every since.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 7:41:01 PM

diamonddreamlove

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Joined: 5/19/2006
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Ex boyfriend had a lot of kink and wow in the 10 on and off years we were together there was a lot of fun. It didn't have a name for many more years but when i realized what we had been doing so long ago it kind of sent me running into this world. I never want to go back vanilla again. Notice i say want to sometimes we do what we say we won't do so i just simply dont want to. LOL can't imagine just vanilla anylonger. And since then the anne rice books have floated my boat too!

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 8:14:58 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Wandering chat rooms looking for cyber sex.

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 8:15:30 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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I saw the movie "Exit to Eden" and I wanted to be HER. No, not Rosie's character...Mistress Lisa. And so I tried to be her...and it wasn't me. But, it did set me on a path!

Master Fire

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 8:15:59 PM

lilsky

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Joined: 10/7/2004
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i had always leaned towards abusive men (nilla guys,...bad ones) and never understood why i was so screwed up to do that, and at times enjoy it. Then one day i was floating around a chat room and stumbled on somebody posting in the room an erotic story,... Come to find out his sub wrote it, and he refused to really get into things with me about it because of my age at the time (just uhhh slightly ummm JAIL BAIT!) but directed me to some at the time really cool informational sites. Read some stuff from the subs, learned about the lifestyle,... learned what i was looking for wasn't an abusive man, but a dominant one. Still haven't always got the two seperated completely but here i am,... i think i'm a bit hooked after my last encounter with the Domly type..lol

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 8:20:11 PM

SwPuno

Posts: 72
Joined: 10/28/2004
Status: offline

Starting having fantasies about being a (female) galley slave, don't think I knew about Femdom yet, on a big rowing boat and things like that around 13. The first kink stuff/confirmation other people had such ideas outside of my own head was seeing some bondage & discipline letters in my older brother's Penthouse magazine and I think the first time I saw a pure kink publication was when I saw one of the first issues of Chained magazine when I got into an adult bookstore (underage) back around 1980. Real life waited about 5 more years when I dabbled a bit with a girlfriend and later a mostly vanilla wife. One divorce later I finally found and entered the scene a couple of years ago and now have a girlfriend more kinky than me, at least in practice. It only took me nearly 30 years to get really immersed in things. Well, at least you can't say I jump into things too hastily.

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/2/2006 8:27:02 PM

FancySeatCover

Posts: 30
Joined: 10/2/2006
Status: offline

grew up in a Master/slave poly household. It was only natural. i was not allowed to be in the lifestyle until 20, and i was not forced to choose a path, it just came to me.

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)

Post #: 12

RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 2:30:27 AM

SirLordTrainer

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Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
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Very nice F/folks! Each one special and unique.

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 2:36:20 AM

OhReallyNow

Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
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LOL compared to some, this slave was introduced in a way that not many today would look on as favorable. My first Master told me once that he recognized my ability to be both a submissive and a slave when he first met me; he just took what was there and molded it to fit his own idea's. Obviously, this slave found something there to her liking . 20 years later and she is still trying to perfect herself ( a losing battle, she knows lol )

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

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Post #: 14

RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 3:08:45 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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I always felt like I belonged in a different place marrying someone completely different. After having my lil one, and basically deciding that I would rather stay home with him than go out and meet the same people again, I began chatting online. I noticed that I would scare a lot of folks away by insisting on being treated a certain way. I became intimately familiar with two things : 1) I was being regularly approached by kindly gentlemen wanting to become my slaves, and 2) I got called a "bitch" for apparently luring horny jerkoffs and than not participating in their wanking session.

Back to trying and making the point, lol: I googled Dominant/submissive relationships, joined the other site, began reading, began introspecting/dissecting relationships. Needless to say that after all of that, becoming intimate friends with collarme, learning from those folks who impressed me as sensible/realistic posters over the months/years, going to several events munches/newbie/play parties, and the rest as they say, is history. I find I'm much more peaceful about who I am, and what I seek in a mate. I find I am much more confident and comfortable in my skin, no longer feeling like I'm wired backwards, needing to censor my thoughts or feelings. M

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(in reply to SirLordTrainer)

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 3:08:49 AM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline

Well least youve arrived. As well, best of luck in your progression. See, not all of us sick motherfuckers are all that bad. ;) LOL

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 4:53:38 AM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
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That was a good film..

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RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 5:01:45 AM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline

Well alright, I think we may have chatted briefly one night at the bar in indy, 'The Vault' on a fetish night. If it wasnt you then it couldve been your twin lol .. peace

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Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

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Post #: 18

RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 5:18:16 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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I have always been dominant since childhood and so when I started dating I always looked for guys who recognized that I was either an equal partner or in charge. I've also always been very sexually oriented and imaginative. So with my first boyfriend I decided I was bored of the vanilla sex and decided that tying him up was a darned good idea. It just grew from there and I've been doing it ever since.

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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Post #: 19

RE: BDSM Humble beginnings - 10/3/2006 5:53:53 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

How very intersting....

As i am gaining more back of my memory from my childhood, i think it began back then actually. When i was 10 i wrote a story about these kids in an orphanage who were getting "whipped" and booooooooy i loved them getting whipped. Shortly after that i got introuble for similiar things and put away my story, chalking my self up to just plain wierd. I pushed it all away. In my teen age years, i dated alot of older men, nilla dom's as i call them. Yet they always managed to in the end get abit abusive. I found BDSM at 17 in a chat room thinking "how interesting" and i explored it and could never figure out what intrigued me so much. Yet it intrigued me. When i turned 18, i went to a club and had a blast. Things ended up going the wrong way.. and i met another nilla Dom who ended up becoming abusive.. so i took off running from BDSM all together. Abuse and BDSM were just way too similiar in my mind. It wasnt until maybe 4 years later that i started to become drawn back in. I met Dom's here and there.. none really "matching" me. I gave up walked away.. and came back about a year later. I had decided at that point that i was going to stick with it until i figured what it was all about and why i kept getting drawn back to it. <grins> Now i seem to be stuck in it!

LOL

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 20

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