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Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 7:19:25 AM   
hoss78412


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline 		As I approach the date of my first-ever "play session", I can't help but wonder about one activity in particular: CBT.  How can something so intensely painful, and that renders you so utterly vulnerable, be so damn appealing?

As I sit here wondering what my performance will be like, these are the specific questions that occur to me:

Do you find that your sub’s tolerance for CBT increases as activities are performed on him, or does is seem that each individual has a set threshold that doesn’t change?

Are there any activities in particular that increase a sub’s tolerance for CBT?


Thanks in advance for your adivce and opinions - they're greatly appreciated.

< Message edited by hoss78412 -- 10/3/2006 7:34:57 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 7:37:27 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		I don't think there is any one activity that will increase tolerance though going with that theory they do tell women to rub their nipples with sandpaper to toughen the skin up for breastfeeding ... perhaps you could try that ;)  joking aside, talk to your top/mistress whoever you are playing with ... don't be afraid to speak up is anything is too much ... a lot too will depend on your mindset at the time ... something that felt glorious last week might not feel so good today ... good luck ... research breathing techniques too, how to process pain ... eg removing a peg, or striking a cane when the sub is exhaling, unless you're wanting to be a nasty wench then by all means she should do it on the inhale ;)

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to hoss78412)
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RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 7:39:22 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		So darn appealing ... being vunerable ;)

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


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RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 7:52:56 AM   
hoss78412


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

...they do tell women to rub their nipples with sandpaper to toughen the skin up for breastfeeding ... perhaps you could try that...


Note to self:  "Make sure there is no sandpaper in the room."

(in reply to Jasmyn)
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RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 7:56:01 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		lol ... I have a very phallic looking stainless steel nutmeg grater in mine ... that raises a few eyebrows ...the battery charger just sends them over the top ;)

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


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RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 7:57:03 AM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hoss78412

As I approach the date of my first-ever "play session", I can't help but wonder about one activity in particular: CBT.  How can something so intensely painful, and that renders you so utterly vulnerable, be so damn appealing?
...


I have too thought about this for a long time and it perplexes me too - but at some point when I feel I've acquired enough knowledge and come to grips mentally with accepting a submissive role; I'm going to find my self tied, naked, and helpless at the mercy of another person who is going to have my most sensitive areas in her control.  (I'm talking more than the physical parts, I'm talking also about my psyche, my preconceptions, my fears, my mental state, and my self-esteem)

For a newbie, it is very unnerving and frightening - do the Dommes really realize the power they have to destroy another human being?  Is it something they appreciate in the man's willingness to give himself up to them or is it of no consequence as it's just some tied up pig for them to torture?  (I'm thinking there are both types and the trick is to find the ones that appreciate what the man is giving up)

It does give one to pause ...

(in reply to hoss78412)
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RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 8:03:44 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Hoss, that's good advice from Jasmyn.  How your first session goes will depend, to a great degree, on how experienced your partner is.  Does she know how to 'build' pain?  Does she know much of your enjoyment comes from trust?  Trust...that will grow as you two come to learn each other.  Trust...that as it does grow will add to your enjoyment of pain as well as your tollerence for it.  It is learning (for both of you) how to make the release of endorphins work in your favor.  And that also comes with trust. 
 
"How can something so intensely painful, and that renders you so utterly vulnerable, be so damn appealing? "  I think some of that comes from submission.  Remember too, that a good Top will NOT break her toys!  Painful is fun, permanent damage is not.  If she's good, she'll know the difference!   If she's new; discuss with her words to ask her to slow down a bit or that you could take more...or to please just STOP!  ('yellow', 'green' and 'RED' work great for those words).  Just mind how you voice them...you do not wanna be topping from the bottom; but rather just learning how to play together!  (ie:  building trust)
 
Take your time, know it won't all happen in a day and have fun!!!
 
bearlee

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RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 8:09:06 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine

For a newbie, it is very unnerving and frightening - do the Dommes really realize the power they have to destroy another human being?  Is it something they appreciate in the man's willingness to give himself up to them or is it of no consequence as it's just some tied up pig for them to torture?  (I'm thinking there are both types and the trick is to find the ones that appreciate what the man is giving up)

It does give one to pause ...


I do realize that when I have my sub tied down in and he is lost in the throes of subspace, that I have so much power over him. His life is basically in my hands and with that thought in mind that I do what it is I do to him. I Dominate him, I torture him, I adore him, I love him and allow him to serve me,  but most of all I protect him.

That is my main function while we go on this journey to keep him safe from harm while I thrill Myself and him. he trusts me enough to give himself over to me and I will not betray that trust, just as I expect him to never betray mine. Do I think he is a pig? No he is a wonderful man that I respect and care for.

Now as to the question about how to build up a tolerance for CBT, buy some clothespins(extreme restraints has some nice ones with coated ends) and a book on CBT. Practice on yourself, go slow and be VERY careful.

Good Luck,
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to ToGiveDivine)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 8:10:16 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		Because it's second nature to me now I sometimes forget just how unnerving it can be for someone, especially if they are new turning up on my doorstep ... I asked one young man I knew who just wanted to meet, was not sure of the whole fem dom thing, he offered to mow my lawn and turned up on the alloted day ... later speaking with him he said the actual having to walk up to my door was the hardest thing in the world he's ever had to do ... saying all the way driving out to my place he was thinking of reasons to turn back ... fearful of what was going to happen ... I relish the vunerability ...and I admire them facing that fear

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to ToGiveDivine)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 8:17:27 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		divine, I think you’re right; there ARE both types of Dommés.  I think some are fairly hateful of men, do that whole ‘Goddess’ thing (in a ‘I’m better than you’ mode…not in a rejoicing, honoring mode) and like the severe humiliation and degradation of a man.  Others, in my esteem, truly enjoy men and relationships with submissive men.  These women do not feel ‘better than’ their boys, but treat them with love and respect…in spite of adoring the administering of pain and playful humiliation with them.
 
Seems to me there is quite a difference; but I don’t think it’s hard to tell that difference!  And, some men prefer one type, others the other type.  There is no bad, here; just don’t settle for less than it is you want!
 
At least, that’s the way I think
bearlee

Edited to add:  Yeah, what both Lashra and Jasmyn said!!!  



< Message edited by Bearlee -- 10/3/2006 8:24:58 AM >

(in reply to ToGiveDivine)
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RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 8:21:29 AM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline 		I never did thank you for that offer of a "drink" - I was incredibly flattered

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 8:21:49 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hoss78412

As I approach the date of my first-ever "play session", I can't help but wonder about one activity in particular: CBT.  How can something so intensely painful, and that renders you so utterly vulnerable, be so damn appealing?

Because you're a masochist. That you like receiving pain is what that means.

quote:


As I sit here wondering what my performance will be like, these are the specific questions that occur to me:

Do you find that your sub’s tolerance for CBT increases as activities are performed on him, or does is seem that each individual has a set threshold that doesn’t change?

Tolerance increases. One, in the session because endorphins kick in and lesson the pain aspects. Two, between sessions, because he's figured out that being slapped in the balls isn't going to render him infertile or kill him.

quote:


Are there any activities in particular that increase a sub’s tolerance for CBT?

Yes, but they are completely subjective to the person involved.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to hoss78412)
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RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 9:20:00 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hoss78412

As I approach the date of my first-ever "play session", I can't help but wonder about one activity in particular: CBT.  How can something so intensely painful, and that renders you so utterly vulnerable, be so damn appealing?


Perhaps it's your naievity, but ......CBT doesn't have to be painful at all.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to hoss78412)
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RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 9:21:06 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

lol ... I have a very phallic looking stainless steel nutmeg grater in mine ... that raises a few eyebrows ...the battery charger just sends them over the top ;)

The alarm bells usually go off for my subjects when, after their bits are trussed up and stretched out, I pull out my power drill kit and plug it in :-)

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 9:22:30 AM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: hoss78412

As I approach the date of my first-ever "play session", I can't help but wonder about one activity in particular: CBT.  How can something so intensely painful, and that renders you so utterly vulnerable, be so damn appealing?


Perhaps it's your naievity, but ......CBT doesn't have to be painful at all.


The term "Cock-Ball Torture" kind of lends you to believe that pain is involved.  Of course, I'm using the term torture loosely here I guess.

The other part, that is requires more of the man's fortitude, is the vulnerability.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 9:24:36 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine

I have too thought about this for a long time and it perplexes me too - but at some point when I feel I've acquired enough knowledge and come to grips mentally with accepting a submissive role; I'm going to find my self tied, naked, and helpless at the mercy of another person who is going to have my most sensitive areas in her control.  (I'm talking more than the physical parts, I'm talking also about my psyche, my preconceptions, my fears, my mental state, and my self-esteem)

For a newbie, it is very unnerving and frightening - do the Dommes really realize the power they have to destroy another human being?  Is it something they appreciate in the man's willingness to give himself up to them or is it of no consequence as it's just some tied up pig for them to torture?  (I'm thinking there are both types and the trick is to find the ones that appreciate what the man is giving up)

It does give one to pause ...

Wait a minute.  My head is swimming incredulously here......Divine -- do you truly think that we ethical dominant women invested in the lifestyle are out to deliberately destroy a human being who we've taken on and taken responsibility of?  And you're still submitting, or has this caused you to back off and think twice to reevaluate what you perceive this life to be about?    Is that what I just got out of what you've said?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to ToGiveDivine)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 9:35:24 AM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine

I have too thought about this for a long time and it perplexes me too - but at some point when I feel I've acquired enough knowledge and come to grips mentally with accepting a submissive role; I'm going to find my self tied, naked, and helpless at the mercy of another person who is going to have my most sensitive areas in her control.  (I'm talking more than the physical parts, I'm talking also about my psyche, my preconceptions, my fears, my mental state, and my self-esteem)

For a newbie, it is very unnerving and frightening - do the Dommes really realize the power they have to destroy another human being?  Is it something they appreciate in the man's willingness to give himself up to them or is it of no consequence as it's just some tied up pig for them to torture?  (I'm thinking there are both types and the trick is to find the ones that appreciate what the man is giving up)

It does give one to pause ...

Wait a minute.  My head is swimming incredulously here......Divine -- do you truly think that we ethical dominant women invested in the lifestyle are out to deliberately destroy a human being who we've taken on and taken responsibility of?  And you're still submitting, or has this caused you to back off and think twice to reevaluate what you perceive this life to be about?    Is that what I just got out of what you've said?


MisPandora,

As you've probably noticed, not all the Dommes on this site have your sensibilities and ethics - and that is a worry.  (even Dommes can end up with a wacko sub that will do them harm if they aren't careful.)

There is fear and uncertainty for someone new to the lifestyle - it's only human.  You have a very good reputation and yet I would still be apprehensive my first time strapped to your table.  It's nothing personal against you (or anyone decent Domme for that matter), but it's new ground for the newbie and accidents can happen.  The act of allowing someone to restrain me will be a testament that I've mastered most of my fears, but not all of them - I'm only human and there is somethings the mind can not wrap itself around just by itself.

From what I've seen in these forums - re-evaluation is not something for the newbies, but the seasoned Dommes, Doms, and subs seem to re-evaluate their likes and dislikes all the time.

I see your point, I was trying to be rhetorical and it came out accusatory - for that I apologize.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 9:46:04 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		I think the facing of a woman who could very well crush and destroy you is horny as hell

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to ToGiveDivine)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 9:57:15 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

bearlee  Remember too, that a good Top will NOT break her toys!  Painful is fun, permanent damage is not.  If she's good, she'll know the difference! 


Dammit.  I hate it when the smart ones figure it out and give away all our secrets *GRIN*

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Tolerance for CBT - 10/3/2006 10:01:17 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine
I see your point, I was trying to be rhetorical and it came out accusatory - for that I apologize.

I didn't take it accusingly, moreso that I was concerned that you honestly believe this sort of thing and are actively still pursuing someone with that notion in your head.  That's can't be all too healthy.

quote:


There is fear and uncertainty for someone new to the lifestyle - it's only human.  You have a very good reputation and yet I would still be apprehensive my first time strapped to your table.  It's nothing personal against you (or anyone decent Domme for that matter), but it's new ground for the newbie....

Thanks for the compliments, but even a seasoned individual has much to be concerned about being strapped to my table *insert evil laugh*

quote:


.....a testament that I've mastered most of my fears, but not all of them - I'm only human and there is somethings the mind can not wrap itself around just by itself. From what I've seen in these forums - re-evaluation is not something for the newbies, but the seasoned Dommes, Doms, and subs seem to re-evaluate their likes and dislikes all the time.

But that's the wash -- when you're IN a situation/relationship with that sensible dominant woman, you can wrap your mind around the fact that she knows she  holds the keys to your body, your mind, your heart and your psyche AND that she does so in a caring, sensible and responsible manner.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to ToGiveDivine)
Profile   Post #: 20
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