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taking care of? - 1/19/2005 11:47:06 PM

garylee

Posts: 38
Joined: 12/15/2004
From: from? iowa.....
Status: offline

i got a question for all people out there......

i am told.......have seen written...blah blah etc.......responsibilities of a domme.
say what?
i am 51 years old.....i do my medical at the V.A.--so She isn't involved THERE.....
i am able to mentally/emotionally and physically take care of my person w/o anyone's help for anything......so what is it She is supposed to do THERE?
i have my own income each month......which is not because of Her......so She is not involved there.......

someone explain to me WHAT responsibilities????????? i do my own laundry.....
i can do my own grocery shopping.........make my own meals......
hey.......just WHAT ---------IS........a domme responsible FOR?????? huh?

thanks,.......
garylee

_____________________________

i see the world, i notice it is turning, as my guitar gently weeps.

Post #: 1

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 1:28:36 AM

MissP

Posts: 103
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline

The arrangements in any D/s vary from couple to couple. I only consider myself responsible for what happens during play/aftercare for those I play with casually/club play. As for full time partnerships - that will depend on how the individuals work it between themselves. I don't think there's any right or wrong answer to this one!

_____________________________

MissP xx

http://www.mistress-p.co.uk/

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 2

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 1:51:22 AM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking.
The Dom/me AND the sub in any type of dynamic have certain responsibilites to one another within the context of their relationship. The couple decides, not the people on this forum, or an outside group.
Obviously, there are certain things that each person is responsible for (the well being of the other person, for example) but I don't think that is outside the context of a "normal" (i.e.- non-BDSM) relationship.
As Always
Berlin

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 3

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 2:14:17 AM

garylee

Posts: 38
Joined: 12/15/2004
From: from? iowa.....
Status: offline

quote:

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking.
The Dom/me AND the sub in any type of dynamic have certain responsibilites to one another within the context of their relationship. The couple decides, not the people on this forum, or an outside group.
Obviously, there are certain things that each person is responsible for (the well being of the other person, for example) but I don't think that is outside the context of a "normal" (i.e.- non-BDSM) relationship.
As Always
Berlin

*********what i am asking.......i guess,,,,seems too logical to most folks and non emotional.........which......is where i am.
i look at it as basic life.
sorry'
garylee

_____________________________

i see the world, i notice it is turning, as my guitar gently weeps.

(in reply to MzBerlin)

Post #: 4

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 2:17:48 AM

LdyAuburn

Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline

dont you do hers as well?

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 5

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 2:26:13 AM

Tangwystal

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

I have asked myself the same question, only about the guys...

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 6

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 2:57:30 AM

sokinky4You

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/12/2005
Status: offline

if You were a submissive You would know ....

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 7

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 3:17:35 AM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

i can't speak on Dommes. i can however speak on the responsabilities Master has taken on for me.
Master is my ROCK. He is my center. Whenever a company tries to rip us off He is my cop. dragon slayer.. i get awful headaches when dealing with those folks. Master seems to greatly enjoy it.

He is my protector. That prolly isn't a big deal to a male submissive but it is to me. If anyone tried to touch me without His permission (hugs not included because Master knows i'm a hug slut) Master would hurt them.

The love and nurturing He gives me is unlike i've ever experienced before. He is strict and fair and everything i ever dreamt of my Dom being. His strength gives me more strength. He makes me whole.

It sounds like your relationship differs greatly from ours. That's okay. The relationship Master and i have works very well for us and it's obvious that the relationship you have with your Ma'am works for you.

i have to say that i feel like you are casting stones at those of us that have relationships different from yours. i am thrilled to pieces that your relationship is a happy one.

lil_joy

quote:

ORIGINAL: garylee

i got a question for all people out there......

i am told.......have seen written...blah blah etc.......responsibilities of a domme.
say what?
i am 51 years old.....i do my medical at the V.A.--so She isn't involved THERE.....
i am able to mentally/emotionally and physically take care of my person w/o anyone's help for anything......so what is it She is supposed to do THERE?
i have my own income each month......which is not because of Her......so She is not involved there.......

someone explain to me WHAT responsibilities????????? i do my own laundry.....
i can do my own grocery shopping.........make my own meals......
hey.......just WHAT ---------IS........a domme responsible FOR?????? huh?

thanks,.......
garylee

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 8

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 3:38:41 AM

garylee

Posts: 38
Joined: 12/15/2004
From: from? iowa.....
Status: offline

quote:

dont you do hers as well?

*************8
huh?....do Her what?////////////
i dont do Her laundry or nothing........no!
She has a girl here that does all Her personal needs.........i aint here for that.
i am here..............only...........as a domestic.---uninvolved....period!
am i making sense yet?
i merely asked what was supposed to be a logical question and somehow got turned into something other.....i apologize.......i stay emtionally AWAY.....from everyone.
''i'' have NO ties to ANYONE on this planet......i am platonic and celebate......and not a ''player'' type......i never understood it and never got introduced to it.

later folks
garylee

_____________________________

i see the world, i notice it is turning, as my guitar gently weeps.

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 9

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 3:42:15 AM

garylee

Posts: 38
Joined: 12/15/2004
From: from? iowa.....
Status: offline

quote:

He is my protector. That prolly isn't a big deal to a male submissive but it is to me. If anyone tried to touch me without His permission (hugs not included because Master knows i'm a hug slut) Master would hurt them.

----------
see????????
as a guy.......c'mon....i pick up a 2 x 4 and we get to it.
what domme is going to ''protect'' a full grown man?.........oh please.
like as if some gal is going to force herself on me and i have a problem with it........?
NOT!
that aint reality!

it is JUST different for us dudes......right?

garylee

_____________________________

i see the world, i notice it is turning, as my guitar gently weeps.

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 10

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 4:01:54 AM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

that's why i said perhaps it's not the same for you.
ok garylee tell you what. How about you explain the relationship to me? As i unrestand it you do everything but the laundry and the sex,yes? i'e seen you post that all you need is Her smile and a thank you. i too thrive on that but our relationship is so very much more.

What is it that keeps you with your Ma'am as opposed to many others whom might like a free maid?

i find it interesting that the only part of my post that you responded to was the part that i already acknowledged you didn't need.

quote:

ORIGINAL: garylee
----------
see????????
as a guy.......c'mon....i pick up a 2 x 4 and we get to it.
what domme is going to ''protect'' a full grown man?.........oh please.
like as if some gal is going to force herself on me and i have a problem with it........?
NOT!
that aint reality!

it is JUST different for us dudes......right?

garylee

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 11

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 6:10:47 AM

garylee

Posts: 38
Joined: 12/15/2004
From: from? iowa.....
Status: offline

liljoy------
no moreso than i did any girfriend or ex wife.........OR my 1st domme.....(in ill health now)

i come to serve Her........period.
i want only someone to take care of.....i ask for nothing in return.......i give.....not take.
every woman EXCEPT a domme has run away because i like to please.........
i know you dont understand......but see.....i take care of myself alone so SHE has a life of luxury w/o any more stress due to another mouth in the house.....another problem to take care of........NO!----------i take care of me AND Her.......so that Her life is as free of stress as is humanly possible.
why is that wrong?
garylee

_____________________________

i see the world, i notice it is turning, as my guitar gently weeps.

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 12

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 6:15:59 AM

sweetpleaser

Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline

That is not wrong but I am not understanding the point of your first post. If you are happy serving, great!!

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 13

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 6:28:09 AM

Sweeticing

Posts: 164
Joined: 12/30/2004
Status: offline

Garylee, You sound pretty upset and hostile. Not what I would expect from a sub. Is this a 24/7 relationship? When you bring up laundry and cleaning it leads me to think so. 24/7 is not my area of experence. So usually my responsiblites is following limits, being discret,provide a safe enviroment. I would suggest the only way to answer the question is to ask the Dom you are referring to. Every Dom and Domme would say there responsiblities are diffrent. You sound like you are expecting more and not getting it.

_____________________________

quote:

"What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print."...

quote:

"Imagination is more important than knowledge" Albert Einstein..

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 14

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 6:34:29 AM

garylee

Posts: 38
Joined: 12/15/2004
From: from? iowa.....
Status: offline

quote:

You sound like you are expecting more and not getting it. [/quote

no........please.....i give up......i merely started this.....to do a self check.......to see if i am okay in my own standards or if i went off course......i merely wanted feedback ...and it all went fooey here on me.
please
just forget it all........okay?
i am sorry i tried to ask for help to make a decision......i thought that was what it was about? maybe i am wrong?
and yes.........whomever asked........i am 24/7--365.......live in....

geez........i wish i never asked for help now.

bye for now....................
garylee

_____________________________

i see the world, i notice it is turning, as my guitar gently weeps.

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 15

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 6:36:04 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: garylee
just WHAT ---------IS........a domme responsible FOR?????? huh?

I am new to all of this, so I may be wrong, but I think she is responsible for seeing that your needs get met within the relationship. You seem to have a need to serve (as many of us do) so Your domme is responsible for providing opportunities to be of service to her.

In some of your earlier posts you mentioned that doing domestic work was all you were interested in doing. Are you dissatisfied with this arrangement? Are you feeling other unmet needs?

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 16

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 6:37:11 AM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

I understand you perfectly well and I don't think you're observations are limited to male submissives. My girl came to me as a self-sufficient service-oriented submissive. She, too felt that service was an end unto itself.
Our dynamic is based on that view. Nothing in our agreement in any way negates her self-sufficiency. I don't gaurantee her anything other than the opportunity to serve me.
On the other hand, I require things from her that she doesn't truly need. I control her wardrobe because it pleases me, not because she can't dress in ways I find pleasing. I oversee her healthcare because I choose to, not because she can't do it herself. I show her loving affection because I want to not because she asks it or feels she needs it in order to serve.
You aren't unique in your self-sufficiency. You simply have a dynamic that allows you that freedom. I don't allow my girl to live without my interference but that is simply my preference.
The answer to your question is the same for all of us, on either side of the slash. Each of us is responsible for ourselves. All else is either charity or negotiated exchange, neither of which is mandatory.
Be well,
Timothy

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 17

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 7:16:52 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

liljoy------
no moreso than i did any girfriend or ex wife.........OR my 1st domme.....(in ill health now)

So, forgive me for asking, but what is the differance here between your current Domme and all these other woman you dated vanilla?

Not much from what I gather....

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to garylee)

Post #: 18

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 7:27:47 AM

garylee

Posts: 38
Joined: 12/15/2004
From: from? iowa.....
Status: offline

quote:

ProtagonistLily

no..........not much........you, are, correct.
only exception...is the tiny tiny little things around the house....bathroom privileges and such......but it is so small it is not important......
what IS important......is that i just like having someone to take care of.
not in any lovey dovey thingy.....and there is no sex and all that s/m stuff...................
i just wanted.........feedback..............it all blew up in my face.........
so much for support.........and then my head shrink asks why i have trouble trusting people........oh my.......

thanks again.........i think.
i tend to myself......all my own medical and all of it.....i take care of me AND Her....alone.

k bye e for now.
garylee

_____________________________

i see the world, i notice it is turning, as my guitar gently weeps.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 19

RE: taking care of? - 1/20/2005 7:28:59 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Access Denied

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 11:00:16 PM >

(in reply to domtimothy46176)

Post #: 20

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