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RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/5/2006 10:06:22 AM   
gypsylee


Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chatt22nooga

The world has not gone mad...the people in it have....the world will be here until the sun burns out and the dark and cold will bring about another species here...to the gajee,goes the task of telling the future...MasterDECKER esq....


i know not the gajee... maybe you do not know Jay? he is the C.L.I.T. Master.

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.


(in reply to Chatt22nooga)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/5/2006 10:09:13 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Where did you learn what you know?  From the feet of a single mentor?  A book or two?  What formed you?


In the begining - i read alot.. tons and tons of sites (no i didnt know about books on the subject 9 years ago)

These days, much of everything i learn - i take from those i interact with.  From their experiences and perspectives and i generally factor in intelligence, maturity, motives and reliability.  Generally i interact with a wide variety of ppl with a wide variety of perspectives, ideas, thoughts, experiences, personal levels, and degrees of involvement in life and bdsm. There is also my own experiences and the boards here. 

As to what formed ME - well i did.  Good or bad, i made it a mission to.  Yet, through out the years i've been broken a few times so i've spent a great many years putting the pieces back together and then refitting and replacing them so they fit right.  (never can get it right).  Takes abit of time and alot of work.  Pretty much for the past 12 years i have been forming and reforming myself as new shit, new experiences, and new information comes about.  I hate giving credit to anyone else when it comes to this, but i must give credit to my Master.  As with out him, i think i'd still be incredibly reckless and not know it, unfeeling, unable to cry, unable to be honest with how i felt, self destructive, living in fear, angry at the world, ashamed and angry of who i am and where i've been, and still with untold amounts of bottled rage with no clue how to expend any of it.  Aye, with out his help many self discoveries would not have been made and many broken pieces would not have been fixed. 


(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/5/2006 10:10:22 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Any specific author or speaker where you said "yeah.. THAT's my style"?


no i have a vision in my head

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/5/2006 11:20:07 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
Life Experiences, Internet conversations (applied with common sense), Community Education groups (RCDC in Portland OR), RL friends in the scene.

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/5/2006 4:44:50 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Where did you learn what you know?  From the feet of a single mentor?  A book or two?  What formed you?


All of the above and then some.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/5/2006 4:56:33 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline
I married at 16, and my husband (who was 23) had just come back from vietnam where he had grown accustomed to having a female servant.
Plus.. he was a kink oriented and enjoyed what he did.

It was moved along by my natural desire for all things twisted.  THAT is a lifelong passion, having been exposed to bdsm mags and books from age 5.  BTW, I learned to read early on.. probably as a result of wanting to know what those bdsm mags were talking about.  I knew the pictures were intriguing already.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Where did you learn what you know?  From the feet of a single mentor?  A book or two?  What formed you?


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/5/2006 9:08:16 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Where did you learn what you know?  From the feet of a single mentor?  A book or two?  What formed you?


I learned mostly from online doms and subs, from web sites, and from Collarme; and also from trial and error in real life.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/5/2006 9:43:07 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
Life experiences. After 12 years I still think I am always learning. I did read some books along the way, but I think real life expereinces has taught me the most.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/5/2006 9:46:58 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iskander

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I learned from my mistakes of which there have been many which is why I now know so much.


When I grow up I wanna be just like CrappyDom....

Iskander...




We all do.

Happily, I have kidnapped CrappyDom87 from The Island and am busily making 1/3 sized CrappyDomClones.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Iskander)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/6/2006 12:32:42 AM   
closertonova


Posts: 50
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline
You know i think i fell into submission, atleast bedroom submission, i mean i just liked some positions more, i just sorta found bigger guys, i learned if i teased and played hard i got the same in return only after a few years of short relationships in which i tested limits till i trod all over my boyfriends in which case i would then tire of them and loss then aside, i came across more about BDSM and fell into place online and in the library then the internet then now with my Dom

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/6/2006 12:47:47 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Where did you learn what you know?  From the feet of a single mentor?  A book or two?  What formed you?
Books, collarme, a couple of groups, lots of friends, a couple of play parties, a couple of willing wonderful men/guinea pigs, and my profession.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/6/2006 1:28:09 AM   
needstheOne


Posts: 44
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline
Well my introduction into the world of BDSM was abrupt. My GF anouced that she wanted to be a sub and I should be her master. Well I thought that was nuts. So she brought me to a meeting then to a play party I got dunk and gave her a long OTK session.

More meetings and then I was invited to go to a store to get some play items for tying up mine more safely.

I met Mistress Cristi there and fell in love with Her ways and started to court her. Then at the Holloween party, I dommed my pet and Mistress Cristi said how bad I had done. I told Her if She could do better Have at it. She then told me to drop my pants and she would. Well everyone looked at me then at Her.

I thought what the hell, I've been beatten before with baseball bats so it can't be all that bad. OH YES IT CAN:):) She took a racketball paddle to me for an hour and a half until she was done with me. I cried and a week later She showed up at my work and asked my I hadn't come by and I told Her I was confused. She said you were always a subby but never knew it. I won Her heart 3 weeks later Moved in and She train me from there to be a good little Subby.

On my Birthday of our eight year together She anouced to our guests that I was no longer Her little subby but Her slave and now had permission to call her Mistress.:)

That was my wild intro into the BDSM lifestyle. Also read a few books.

We had 10 wonderful years together may She be well in all Her endevors.:)

(in reply to Chatt22nooga)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/6/2006 3:13:17 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline
greetings
 
i learn from instinst and just knowing what i wanted to do . i read books and things and i know what i saw and read made me feel to be dominant it was great then i talk online to a dome he taught me so many things so many i learn who to know what mood a slave was in how to see what. how to tell by what he was saying what he wanted and what was the most important thing when he told me someone he was mine it worked i will never fforget him and i will his wishdom he thought i was a submissive when he i was not he told me you will be the best domme i will teach you what pucihment work best what other do not i can say i am no not the best but i am damn well and good
 
mons

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/6/2006 3:27:57 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline
I find that talking to experienced Doms who have been in the lifestyle 15 years+ have taught me alot. I have much respect for them.

(in reply to Chatt22nooga)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/8/2006 9:03:29 PM   
teamnoir


Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
Status: offline
Actual play with people who knew what they were doing. Watching for months at a local dungeon. Tons and tons of online and in person discussions. Some classes and demos. Repeat as needed.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/8/2006 9:22:05 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

LotusSong:  Where did you learn what you know?  From the feet of a single mentor?  A book or two?  What formed you?


Two areas of knowledge, two different but related answers:

1.  Where did I learn "what I know" about WIIWD?  About Topping, about emotional issues, about "play"?   Reading everything I could find, and rereading the stuff that sang to Me.  Talking with Doms, Tops, subs, bottoms, switches, watchers, pros, doers, dones.....everyone I could find who would talk about it.  I learned a tremendous amount from two great, giving Dominants in the scene, one of whom is no longer with us and I mourn the loss of his wisdom and friendship, the other is around (tho basically inactive) and she and I talk weekly.  Watching at public scenes, videos..etc.  and then when I finally ventured into the world, I learned (and still learn) from My submissives...always.

2.  Where did I learn "what I know" about technique?  The same way you get to Carnegie Hall...practice practice practice!  Again, watching at clubs, partys, dungeons.  Flogging a pillow into feathers (when I first started out).  Hundreds of hours of practice over one summer with a single tail until I could reliably send the cracker off to the exact spot I wanted it (cutting a card, or taking a ribbon off a nail) and have it crack and return without adding yet another welt to my hand/arm/chest/cheek  OW!  Watching and learning how to do just about everything....shibari, wax, plastic wrap, fireplay...and then finding a willing and very brave little girl to practice on.

E.

Edited to add "what I read" -- Jay, John, Guy, Jack, Philip, Dossie, Gloria...the canon.  The Topping Book and the Bottoming Book stood out.  "Different Loving" helped convince Me I wasn't just a sicko.  "Screw the Roses" although it came out while I was well along in My D/s journey was still one of the best books I'd read.  I'm still trying to make it through SlaveCraft (because My darling girl wants Me to read it and I think I should).


< Message edited by Emperor1956 -- 10/8/2006 9:30:33 PM >


_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Where did you learn what you know? - 10/8/2006 9:50:38 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
Hello A/all,

I used to steal the prizes from Cracker Jack boxes when I was a kid.

And one day....

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Chatt22nooga)
Profile   Post #: 37
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