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How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 5:36:19 AM   
nikkicd10


Posts: 91
Joined: 8/23/2006
Status: offline 		I have no idea how many messages any female gets on this site, however from the few comments i have read about it, it is a burden.

I'm a Bi CD and I get messages from so called "straight men" that wish to serve me.  Now I'm not sure how that would happen because I'm listed as a sub.  So if I get those I was wondering...

How do you Mistress cut through all the crap and not waste your time with people who have no idea about this lifestlye and are just sitting at their computer using one hand to type? 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 6:01:01 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		First, get yourself a pair of hip waders...
 
What I do is simply refuse to talk about kink in any way, shape or form.... that sends a lot running. Then I insist on a phone call (no talking about kink there either). If they can't or won't call that says alot to me... they could be married, maybe they aren't the gender they say they are or maybe they don't really want reality. After that, better be able to prove that you are the same person in your pic with a web cam.... Admittedly though, most don't make it that far.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to nikkicd10)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 6:12:26 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nikkicd10
How do you Mistress cut through all the crap and not waste your time with people who have no idea about this lifestlye and are just sitting at their computer using one hand to type? 


I find the Mail Controls feature very helpful.  All mail from people out of the country, male dominants, couples, people under a certain age, and people over a certain age gets directed to my bulk mail folder and I don't even have to see it.  I have already stated in my profile that I don't want to hear from these individuals, but many of them do not respect my wishes, so I let Collarme do a lot of the work for me in filtering my mail.  Now if they would just add a feature to filter out married men, that would be great.  Trouble is, most of them would lie about it anyway and would bypass the filters.
 
For the ones who are still idiots and get through anyway, I have stated in my profile certain minimum information I requre in an introductory letter.  If they don't include it, I don't bother with them because a)  it usually means they didn't read my profile, or b) they read it, but there is something they want to hide, so figure they'd better not bring it up (such as being married). 
 
I find that the people who make it through the filters, take the time to read my profile, meet my requirements, and include the information I request in an introductory letter are usually worth getting to know.  However, these comprise about 10% of the responses I get.

Lady Topaz

< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 10/6/2006 6:21:38 AM >

(in reply to nikkicd10)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 6:15:57 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		I only reply to those from what I would be looking for.  All others are deleted without response.  I've waded through my share of jerks playing at being something they are not.  I also found two other very nice BDSM, D/s sites which I belong to.  With the diverse mix, I've done okay for Myself.

Just be patient is the best thing I can recommend.  I began this new ID not too long ago, prior to that I was on CollarMe for about a year or so under a different ID.

Good luck to you.




_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 7:21:07 AM   
DivineDarkDiva


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nikkicd10

How do you Mistress cut through all the crap and not waste your time with people who have no idea about this lifestlye and are just sitting at their computer using one hand to type? 


I list a few bottom line criteria in my profile, which must be met.  That eliminates the great majority of the emailers.  Beyond that, I base my decisions on conversation, attitude and availability.  Their winning personal traits will prevail over their degree of kink. 

(in reply to nikkicd10)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 7:27:27 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I have a few stock answers that I can cut and paste into a reply for those who do not suit for various reasons.  I do answer most everyone but with a "Thank you for your interest, however I am looking for...good luck in your search".  Most people do not come back and become a pest.  Some will politely reply and I have made several friends that way.  The few who act rude and won't take no for an answer I simply block. 

To get to the root of the issue, I ask questions and gauge the potential for compatibility from the answers.  I can usually tell within an email or two if there is even a possibility and from there move on to deeper conversations.  I like being able to read profiles and see pics so anyone with those already are a plus. 

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to DivineDarkDiva)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 11:07:41 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		I have taken the time to outline very clearly, in My profile, what I wish to see in a nice letter of intoduction.  It just saves Me a lot of time.  If I don't get an honest effort to write what I require, then I am not interested.  For if a supplicant who is claiming to be so very ready and serve Me in every way and is ready to be a slave to Me, can't even follow the initial and simple instructions, then I have to figure that they will also balk at actually being of proper service to Me.  It is a first benchmark, and, unfortunately, almost no one gets past that.
However, I do take the time to answer about 80%+ of My mail.  Even if it is just a brief note saying "thank you for your interest but..."  Even though I state that I won't, and I really have no obligation to respond, that is a personal decision I make on a case by case basis.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to nikkicd10)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 11:15:49 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Change your profile to include real service and spirituality. Then, list yourself as a bi Fem Dom. Apparently, this cuts down the responses to about 5 a month. LOL

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to nikkicd10)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 11:15:54 AM   
adommeforu


Posts: 847
Status: offline 		I am with you GoddessDustyGold. However, the thing that I find frustrating is that it occurs at all.
In words of one syllable, I attempt to set out exactly that which I desire and yet, to steal a line from the war of the worlds, “…still they come”.





(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 6:01:24 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		And keep coming.  I've had that problem.  I am with just about everyone else.  If I truly believe they won't suit, I simply tell them 'thank you for your interest but ...' and they usually will go away, if they don't ... BLOCK works very well.  I've also done that with those that have pushed plain ignorant, both in thought and deed.




_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to adommeforu)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/6/2006 11:31:57 PM   
DivineDarkDiva


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

I have a few stock answers that I can cut and paste into a reply for those who do not suit for various reasons.  I do answer most everyone but with a "Thank you for your interest, however I am looking for...good luck in your search".  Most people do not come back and become a pest.  Some will politely reply and I have made several friends that way.  The few who act rude and won't take no for an answer I simply block.   


I like your idea of having available some "stock answers", and may adopt that idea instead of typing the same things again and again.  Like you, I thank them for their interest and give a brief reason for not moving forward -- if they write in a respectful tone.  However, when the same person pops up every couple of weeks, I just ignore their subsequent efforts.  I also ignore those who are a bit "too familiar" in their initial email.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/7/2006 7:51:11 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I have recently found that when someone sends me a note from a good distance away, that my request for him (it is usually a him) to tell me how he will finance and make time for weekly visits for training sessions over the next 3-4 months drives him away very quickly.

The great part is that I'm not making up anything or creating a new problem, simply stating a fact of how I go about things.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to nikkicd10)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/7/2006 7:54:08 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		How do you get through all the BS?
Don't punch out the DM.

Try figuring that one out!

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to nikkicd10)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/7/2006 8:33:05 AM   
MistressGeek


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		If there is any potential there at all, I like to ask them to write me a story. I tell them I want eloquence and detail. I usually send a pic to stimulate the imagination. Most of the lazy asses I never hear from again, but those I do...

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/7/2006 9:48:13 AM   
APhacetoSit


Posts: 87
Joined: 11/23/2004
Status: offline 		   i hope that all is well with You.  In my humble opinion, Ma'am, try to screen out anyone who does not inquire about Your general well being in the first paragraph, and/or whose sole or primary focus is in what they want.
From what i have been led to believe, this will leave a manageable number of candidates.
  just a thought, hope that it helps.


_____________________________

How do the Angels get to sleep when the devil leaves the porchlight on?
All skill is in vain when an Angel pees in the touchhole of your musket.

(in reply to nikkicd10)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/7/2006 9:56:31 AM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 189
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline 		Yes it is a burden but I do take time to tell each one why they are not suited for me so that they can make the choice of making changes or not.There are stalkers out there that get blocked or sent another way but over all it works out,I do have my most trusted sub answer my mail if it loads up he will tell me if one looks like a real winner and it gives him a sense of trust

(in reply to APhacetoSit)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/7/2006 10:36:31 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: APhacetoSit

In my humble opinion, Ma'am, try to screen out anyone who does not inquire about Your general well being in the first paragraph, and/or whose sole or primary focus is in what they want.
From what i have been led to believe, this will leave a manageable number of candidates.



Not an attack on your specific message, but a general statement.

There are hundreds of possible criteria you can use to narrow down the number of messages you respond to.  No sex mentionned, sex mentionned, no typos, certain info given, certain info not given, pic included, no pic included, inquiry about this, no inquiry about this, pretty much anything can be used, and often times opposite criteria for different people.

Now, that's all well and good, but if you expect every "good" match to do this, and toss everyone else by the wayside, it's kind of a shame, no?

For example, I don't ask how a Domme is doing.  What frame of reference do I have?  I start out with a polite introduction, a bit about myself, where I live, what I'm looking for in broad terms, my hobbies, and the like, then go into how her profile corresponds to my interests, and finally ask some questions which her profile spurred in me, as well as the things I told her, like what kind of work she does.

By almost any single criteria elimination, I am out.  Not saying I'm a perfect sub, but I am pretty fucking good looking.

So why not read the whole message until you get to a point where you know enough to make a decision, rather than base it on the psychic capabilities of anyone who writes you to know what your exact needs are in a message?

Yours,


benji

PS:  I tend to delete any message that doesn't mention how unbelievably large my cock is.  It really cuts down on the number of messages I have to feel guilty about ignoring.

< Message edited by gooddogbenji -- 10/7/2006 10:39:06 AM >

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to APhacetoSit)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/7/2006 10:53:25 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adommeforu

“…still they come”.



And Wells knew the solution, too - have them drink the blood of man, get sick and die.

Try putting the blood drinking part in your profile.  It'll stop it soon enough......

Yours,


benji



_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to adommeforu)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/10/2006 2:07:55 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: APhacetoSit

  i hope that all is well with You.  In my humble opinion, Ma'am, try to screen out anyone who does not inquire about Your general well being in the first paragraph, and/or whose sole or primary focus is in what they want.
From what i have been led to believe, this will leave a manageable number of candidates.
 just a thought, hope that it helps.


I can't say that makes a good impression on me.  I don't like overt familiarity where none exists.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to APhacetoSit)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? - 10/11/2006 12:00:32 AM   
mam


Posts: 54
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		dang your hide, there was no cock photo!
lol

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 20
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