How do you sort thru all the BS?

How do you sort thru all the BS? (Full Version)

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nikkicd10 -> How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 5:36:19 AM)
I have no idea how many messages any female gets on this site, however from the few comments i have read about it, it is a burden. I'm a Bi CD and I get messages from so called "straight men" that wish to serve me. Now I'm not sure how that would happen because I'm listed as a sub. So if I get those I was wondering... How do you Mistress cut through all the crap and not waste your time with people who have no idea about this lifestlye and are just sitting at their computer using one hand to type?

ShiftedJewel -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 6:01:01 AM)
*First, get yourself a pair of hip waders...* What I do is simply refuse to talk about kink in any way, shape or form.... that sends a lot running. Then I insist on a phone call (no talking about kink there either). If they can't or won't call that says alot to me... they could be married, maybe they aren't the gender they say they are or maybe they don't really want reality. After that, better be able to prove that you are the same person in your pic with a web cam.... Admittedly though, most don't make it that far. *Jewel*

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 6:12:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nikkicd10 How do you Mistress cut through all the crap and not waste your time with people who have no idea about this lifestlye and are just sitting at their computer using one hand to type? I find the Mail Controls feature very helpful. All mail from people out of the country, male dominants, couples, people under a certain age, and people over a certain age gets directed to my bulk mail folder and I don't even have to see it. I have already stated in my profile that I don't want to hear from these individuals, but many of them do not respect my wishes, so I let Collarme do a lot of the work for me in filtering my mail. Now if they would just add a feature to filter out married men, that would be great. Trouble is, most of them would lie about it anyway and would bypass the filters. For the ones who are still idiots and get through anyway, I have stated in my profile certain minimum information I requre in an introductory letter. If they don't include it, I don't bother with them because a) it usually means they didn't read my profile, or b) they read it, but there is something they want to hide, so figure they'd better not bring it up (such as being married). I find that the people who make it through the filters, take the time to read my profile, meet my requirements, and include the information I request in an introductory letter are usually worth getting to know. However, these comprise about 10% of the responses I get. Lady Topaz

DivaDuchess -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 6:15:57 AM)
I only reply to those from what I would be looking for. All others are deleted without response. I've waded through my share of jerks playing at being something they are not. I also found two other very nice BDSM, D/s sites which I belong to. With the diverse mix, I've done okay for Myself. Just be patient is the best thing I can recommend. I began this new ID not too long ago, prior to that I was on CollarMe for about a year or so under a different ID. Good luck to you.

DivineDarkDiva -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 7:21:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nikkicd10 How do you Mistress cut through all the crap and not waste your time with people who have no idea about this lifestlye and are just sitting at their computer using one hand to type? I list a few bottom line criteria in my profile, which must be met. That eliminates the great majority of the emailers. Beyond that, I base my decisions on conversation, attitude and availability. Their winning personal traits will prevail over their degree of kink.

MsKatHouston -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 7:27:27 AM)
I have a few stock answers that I can cut and paste into a reply for those who do not suit for various reasons. I do answer most everyone but with a "Thank you for your interest, however I am looking for...good luck in your search". Most people do not come back and become a pest. Some will politely reply and I have made several friends that way. The few who act rude and won't take no for an answer I simply block. To get to the root of the issue, I ask questions and gauge the potential for compatibility from the answers. I can usually tell within an email or two if there is even a possibility and from there move on to deeper conversations. I like being able to read profiles and see pics so anyone with those already are a plus.

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 11:07:41 AM)
I have taken the time to outline very clearly, in My profile, what I wish to see in a nice letter of intoduction. It just saves Me a lot of time. If I don't get an honest effort to write what I require, then I am not interested. For if a supplicant who is claiming to be so very ready and serve Me in every way and is ready to be a slave to Me, can't even follow the initial and simple instructions, then I have to figure that they will also balk at actually being of proper service to Me. It is a first benchmark, and, unfortunately, almost no one gets past that. However, I do take the time to answer about 80%+ of My mail. Even if it is just a brief note saying "thank you for your interest but..." Even though I state that I won't, and I really have no obligation to respond, that is a personal decision I make on a case by case basis.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 11:15:49 AM)
Change your profile to include real service and spirituality. Then, list yourself as a bi Fem Dom. Apparently, this cuts down the responses to about 5 a month. LOL Master Fire

adommeforu -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 11:15:54 AM)
I am with you GoddessDustyGold. However, the thing that I find frustrating is that it occurs at all. In words of one syllable, I attempt to set out exactly that which I desire and yet, to steal a line from the war of the worlds, “…still they come”.

DivaDuchess -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 6:01:24 PM)
And keep coming. I've had that problem. I am with just about everyone else. If I truly believe they won't suit, I simply tell them 'thank you for your interest but ...' and they usually will go away, if they don't ... BLOCK works very well. I've also done that with those that have pushed plain ignorant, both in thought and deed.

DivineDarkDiva -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/6/2006 11:31:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston I have a few stock answers that I can cut and paste into a reply for those who do not suit for various reasons. I do answer most everyone but with a "Thank you for your interest, however I am looking for...good luck in your search". Most people do not come back and become a pest. Some will politely reply and I have made several friends that way. The few who act rude and won't take no for an answer I simply block. I like your idea of having available some "stock answers", and may adopt that idea instead of typing the same things again and again. Like you, I thank them for their interest and give a brief reason for not moving forward -- if they write in a respectful tone. However, when the same person pops up every couple of weeks, I just ignore their subsequent efforts. I also ignore those who are a bit "too familiar" in their initial email.

thetammyjo -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/7/2006 7:51:11 AM)
I have recently found that when someone sends me a note from a good distance away, that my request for him (it is usually a him) to tell me how he will finance and make time for weekly visits for training sessions over the next 3-4 months drives him away very quickly. The great part is that I'm not making up anything or creating a new problem, simply stating a fact of how I go about things.

gooddogbenji -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/7/2006 7:54:08 AM)
How do you get through all the BS? Don't punch out the DM. Try figuring that one out! Yours, benji

MistressGeek -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/7/2006 8:33:05 AM)
If there is any potential there at all, I like to ask them to write me a story. I tell them I want eloquence and detail. I usually send a pic to stimulate the imagination. Most of the lazy asses I never hear from again, but those I do...

APhacetoSit -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/7/2006 9:48:13 AM)
i hope that all is well with You. In my humble opinion, Ma'am, try to screen out anyone who does not inquire about Your general well being in the first paragraph, and/or whose sole or primary focus is in what they want. From what i have been led to believe, this will leave a manageable number of candidates. just a thought, hope that it helps.

PrincessDonna -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/7/2006 9:56:31 AM)
Yes it is a burden but I do take time to tell each one why they are not suited for me so that they can make the choice of making changes or not.There are stalkers out there that get blocked or sent another way but over all it works out,I do have my most trusted sub answer my mail if it loads up he will tell me if one looks like a real winner and it gives him a sense of trust

gooddogbenji -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/7/2006 10:36:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: APhacetoSit In my humble opinion, Ma'am, try to screen out anyone who does not inquire about Your general well being in the first paragraph, and/or whose sole or primary focus is in what they want. From what i have been led to believe, this will leave a manageable number of candidates. Not an attack on your specific message, but a general statement. There are hundreds of possible criteria you can use to narrow down the number of messages you respond to. No sex mentionned, sex mentionned, no typos, certain info given, certain info not given, pic included, no pic included, inquiry about this, no inquiry about this, pretty much anything can be used, and often times opposite criteria for different people. Now, that's all well and good, but if you expect every "good" match to do this, and toss everyone else by the wayside, it's kind of a shame, no? For example, I don't ask how a Domme is doing. What frame of reference do I have? I start out with a polite introduction, a bit about myself, where I live, what I'm looking for in broad terms, my hobbies, and the like, then go into how her profile corresponds to my interests, and finally ask some questions which her profile spurred in me, as well as the things I told her, like what kind of work she does. By almost any single criteria elimination, I am out. Not saying I'm a perfect sub, but I am pretty fucking good looking. So why not read the whole message until you get to a point where you know enough to make a decision, rather than base it on the psychic capabilities of anyone who writes you to know what your exact needs are in a message? Yours, benji PS: I tend to delete any message that doesn't mention how unbelievably large my cock is. It really cuts down on the number of messages I have to feel guilty about ignoring.

gooddogbenji -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/7/2006 10:53:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adommeforu “…still they come”. And Wells knew the solution, too - have them drink the blood of man, get sick and die. Try putting the blood drinking part in your profile. It'll stop it soon enough...... Yours, benji

MisPandora -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/10/2006 2:07:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: APhacetoSit i hope that all is well with You. In my humble opinion, Ma'am, try to screen out anyone who does not inquire about Your general well being in the first paragraph, and/or whose sole or primary focus is in what they want. From what i have been led to believe, this will leave a manageable number of candidates. just a thought, hope that it helps. I can't say that makes a good impression on me. I don't like overt familiarity where none exists.

mam -> RE: How do you sort thru all the BS? (10/11/2006 12:00:32 AM)
dang your hide, there was no cock photo! lol

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