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Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:00:38 AM

Dnomyar

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I notice a lot of people leaving Collarme because of Burnout. Lack of finding a partner or being dumped without knowing why. I think the main cause is lack of Patience. What is your opinion.

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:04:27 AM

mnottertail

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For some the former and others the latter.
For another segment some the latter and others the former.

Ron

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:06:36 AM

LotusSong

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I think the allure of "everybody is cool", total acceptance, the divisions of labor and power and the expectations of those that say who they are, are true.. and after all, it's Lifestyle and we are all family- eventually shows itself to be just another group of people.

If one lacks the people skills in one aspect of society, they aren't going to get them in this one.

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:06:36 AM

hunterwolf

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I would say too many game players & liars myself.

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:06:40 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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It's standard retention. When people get into the scene, they are all frenzied and excited and full of anticipation and hopes and unrealistic ideals of what "the scene" is.

After a few months, the glow and newness wears off, they realize it might not really be a good fit for them after all, they just get tired of the crap and move to a new pasture. They realize that the scene is really just as crappy as anything else, and this is seen as an even worse sin due to lost expectations.

Collarme isn't for everyone, no group is. And if we didn't have a chunk of turnover, this place would get very stiff and boring.

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:12:46 AM

gypsylee

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From: Melbournia, Australia
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how do you know their reasons for leaving?

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:16:47 AM

Sunshine119

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I'd say the reason is boredom. I get on and peruse topics and respond to a few that are original. After the first few months, you notice that the same topics are brought up time and time again. Just ask LA. She's always on hand to give a long list of links to previously discussed topics that match the present one.

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:20:03 AM

gypsylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

...They realize that the scene is really just as crappy as anything else, and this is seen as an even worse sin due to lost expectations.

heh. yeah. LA is always on-the-ball.

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:20:31 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
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*Sighs*. Have experienced "burn out" after a single -- or series -- of unpleasant experiences, and deactivated my profile on the other side just to take a break. However, i agree, P/pl do leave, for various reasons. Seems only natural to me that this would happen.

pinkee

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:21:53 AM

onestandingstill

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My opinion is that's a constant flux. Especially in online situations.
With all the turkeys in here the Eagles sometimes just fly the coop.
Internet communication is like having crippled substandard communications at best in my opinion.

It's the Memorex vs live. I'm live and prefer real time living color worlds to live in.

Once people figure out they spend like 20 hours a week talking to mostly weirdo, losers, rude, stupid and lazy people and get nowhere as far as real friends without agendas a mile long it can get old.They decide to go play somewhere else.
suzanne

(in reply to Dnomyar)

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:22:21 AM

LadyEllen

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This must make me odd then - no revelation there of course.

I have fxxk all's chance of finding a partner here or anywhere else - the chance to be in a position to be dumped, would be great. But I'm still here, regardless of the hopelessness of the situation.

I will check out one day. Its all planned for August 2018, as by then my patience will have run out. Its wearing thin already mind. Five years has been bad enough and the prospect of another twelve fills me with less than enthusiasm. Still, needs must.

If I'd murdered someone I'd have been better off. Either released in a few years, or executed by now. Some crimes though, require extensive confinement with spells in solitary, until the person resolves the situation for their own good, having repaid their debt.

Depressed? Yes probably, but its no delusion, just honest acceptance of the situation. No one else wants to know, so I mainly keep it to myself. No one gives a monkey's, and to be fair neither do I anymore, as its not worth the bother. The knowledge of a date when it will end is all that keeps me going.

Its just when I see normal people giving up and/or getting disheartened, I find it difficult to understand. Try being me for a while.

E

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:25:27 AM

onestandingstill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

This must make me odd then - no revelation there of course.

I have fxxk all's chance of finding a partner here or anywhere else - the chance to be in a position to be dumped, would be great. But I'm still here, regardless of the hopelessness of the situation.

I will check out one day. Its all planned for August 2018, as by then my patience will have run out. Its wearing thin already mind. Five years has been bad enough and the prospect of another twelve fills me with less than enthusiasm. Still, needs must.

If I'd murdered someone I'd have been better off. Either released in a few years, or executed by now. Some crimes though, require extensive confinement with spells in solitary, until the person resolves the situation for their own good, having repaid their debt.

Depressed? Yes probably, but its no delusion, just honest acceptance of the situation. No one else wants to know, so I mainly keep it to myself. No one gives a monkey's, and to be fair neither do I anymore, as its not worth the bother. The knowledge of a date when it will end is all that keeps me going.

Its just when I see normal people giving up and/or getting disheartened, I find it difficult to understand. Try being me for a while.

E

I may not know you, but I do give amonkey's ass.
If you ever want to talk I'm here.
suzanne

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:49:58 AM

RiotGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

For some the former and others the latter.
For another segment some the latter and others the former.

Ron

dur and you forgot

For some abit of the former and some of the latter
For others abit of the latter and some of the former

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:55:04 AM

RiotGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Its just when I see normal people giving up and/or getting disheartened, I find it difficult to understand. Try being me for a while.

E

i'm sorry to hear it..

you know your last line reminded me of a part in the movie Dodgeball. The team leader, like gave up and went to the bar to have a drink and he met Lance Armstrong. things were said and what i remember most was Lance saying "you must of had a really good reason for giving up"

Hearing that come from some one like Lance Armstrong really makes you put things into perspective.

i hope you live well the rest of your time and if you're ever bored or want a friend - hit me up - i love making new friends = )

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 8:56:17 AM

Mavis

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All online "communities" have life cycles. People bond in waves and small clusters of people grow through the phases of the community, then move on, and every 8 months or so there is a loss of about 20% of the "regulars" which is filled by the next wave of second level next oldest regulars.

In sites related to dating, attrition is partly from NOt finding a partner, but there is also the group that partners up, and replaces the search time with time spent on the budding relationship. Heck, if you've been yapping online 2 hours a day, then pick up a new partner, wouldn't you rather focus that 2 hours on THEM?

There is also, as noted, the topic cycle. There are only so many issues that can be discussed and after you've read or participated in the top 300 for the 6th time, boredom with repetition replaces the "I might miss something new" behavior. This is common in car repair communities, gardening communities, and day-traders communities. And in all of those, the people staying discuss why so many are leaving, someone points the finger at clueless newbies, someone defends said newbies, and old regulars get taxed with either helping maintain the status quo or guiding the new member cycle flow.

Online communities is a new and really interesting aspect of Cultural Anthropology, i'll bet JuliaOceana will drop by here..

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 9:09:53 AM

juliaoceania

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I think that many people find other things to do besides waiting for watched pots to boil. If I was watching my email box expectantly for a message from mrs or mr "The One" I would get burned out too. If it is just one other thing you do in your life every few days I doubt you would get burned out on it all.

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 9:14:22 AM

TxBadMan

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Hard-on's and dripping pussies can only last for so long

I think that LA hit it pretty close with the comment that the newness wears off and they discover that this is truly not what they want after all.

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 1:23:17 PM

Sensualips

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Sometimes people just get busy with other life issues.

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 1:35:38 PM

degradess

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I agree...how many conversations can you have with countless people with the same theme...."so what are you wearing (or not wearing), what are you going to do to me, or I to you. And the perennial favorite..do you have a cam? I have found a few who want to talk about other things as well but not many.

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RE: Burn Out - 10/6/2006 5:49:28 PM

OnyxGoddess

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Personally I grow tired of the same crap every day by some other nerd herder with a computer who is curious and just really has no interest in REAL situations. Plus sometimes the vanilla side of reality interrupts.

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