RE: Her favourite fetish, my limit?

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RE: Her favourite fetish, my limit? - 1/20/2007 7:02:35 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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I do not believe that online can ever replace offline interactions. I just don't think they compare and can give me what I need from a Ds relationship.

Second if someone is pushing one of your limits online what why would trust them not to stomp over those limits offline? Why would you want to be with someone who stomped over your limits?

If I were you, I'd say "let's be friends" and be prepared to be nothing with her. Move on. I'm betting you have a lot more options than you can imagine you just have to be open to them and willing to go out and get them.

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RE: Her favourite fetish, my limit? - 1/21/2007 3:59:30 AM

iwearpanties

Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline

i must say its one thing i notice alot of lately is more and more on line who wont do real time in person..

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RE: Her favourite fetish, my limit? - 1/21/2007 7:14:55 AM

MistressWolfen

Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Very sound advice and excellent suggestions given to you. I can not think of anything to add other than anecdotal. Unfortunately most of the younger and perhaps more inexperienced male submissives in similiar situations to yours, haveeventually discoveredthey are submitting to a man. In one dreadful situation the young submissive was the entertainment for a group of jocks from a local college.
A quick phone call or the purchase of a $12 web cam from the Wally place could alleve some of the anxiety you are feeling.

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RE: Her favourite fetish, my limit? - 1/21/2007 8:11:06 AM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: maitreDuAcier

Limits should be sacrosanct. Do limits change over time? Yes, but during a scene, or even while in my presence I never let a submissive of mine remove a limit, nor would I indicate my wish for them to. Can we discuss it outside the scene? Yes, because these limits can give insights to the submissive. Generally when I first become involved I tell my sub to go off, take a few days, think inward and draw up a list of limits. Over time and with trust some may be removed, but others are "hard limits" and they exsist for good reason. It is my job as a conscientious Dominate to keep those limits during our time together, as a sub can quite often wish to please and remove limits. I cannot allow that.
I'm sorry to say, it seems to me that you and your Mis may be incompatable. If pain were a hard limit for a sub I couldn't really get involved with them. I've been involved with subs who started out not realizing that they wanted or needed the pain, but they also didn''t have pain as a limit.
It all boils down to: can you each obtain the exchange you need from the relationship?

Also, over time some hard limits can become soft limits and pushing those limits are possible through negotiation. One word of caution: Move slowly and take into consideration the amount of trust involved here. After all, hard limits are such for a reason. In addition, I'm always careful when discussing why someone would change them. Growth is a good reason for me, but for the sake of pleasing me is not a reason good enough to make a hard limit into a soft one, in my opinion.

LBO

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RE: Her favourite fetish, my limit? - 1/21/2007 6:09:09 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Can online replace real time? No, it can't replace real time but it can certainly enhance the real time encounters that come after online training, if one is sincerely committed to the assignments that are given and follows through with them. Online can absolutely fill a void in a submissive's life when he has no other venue for service; it can't replace the feel of a Domme's hands caressing your back until you shiver.

Forced bisexuality - what should I do? Only you can answer that. There's no such thing as 'wait and see what happens' with a hard limit. If it's her fetish, she'll push you into it. If it's a limit for you, end this relationship now before it pushes you into a place where you do not want to be. There are a lot of pros and cons about pushing limits, but in the final anal-ysis, *pardon the pun*, you're the one who will have to live with the repercussions of crossing a line you're not ready to. Ask yourself if you can look yourself in the mirror after having been forced to suck a man's cock. If you can be happy with yourself, examine whether forced bi is truly the limit you believe it to be. If you look at yourself and decide that you cannot live with the risks and consequences that go along with that experimentation, walk.

Let us know how things turn out for you.

TexasMaam

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