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RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 4:09:24 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		The tooth fairy... I always imagined cities made of teeth, what else would a fairy want with teeth?

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 10/9/2006 4:15:22 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 4:10:59 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		She's a fairy. She grinds them up to make something sparkly, silly!

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 4:16:15 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I thought she was a fairly

lmaorofl... thanks for pointing out how silly I am... no one ever noticed before (now I am lying)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 4:17:02 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Just waiting to see how long it's going to take for the new 'The Lying Dominant' thread to appear.

Tick-tock. 

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 4:46:24 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

Just waiting to see how long it's going to take for the new 'The Lying Dominant' thread to appear.

Tick-tock. 


~~~ seriously considered it.... just for you... but I'll wait for a real masochist to do it.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to joyinslavery)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 4:46:39 PM   
GddssBella


Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline 		G'evening all:


All lies are destructive in one form or another. I have let subs go for the whitest lie. If there can't be complete honesty, then what do you have? A house of cards that can be blown down at any time. There's no justification. Even to save face from vanilla family, friends, children, boss/co-workers, etc. If anyone's curious and I believe the answer would have detrimental effects? I simply tell them, "It's private, and I won't discuss it with you.".

Most of my fellow officers, supervisors, and some of the management, know I'm a freak, so I have the luxury of telling it like it is. If they do something I don't like, I can tell them "You know, I'll just bring in my whips and beat you if you don't leave me alone." It never fails to send the miscreant scurrying.

Lies of omission are in the same ball park. So are social niceties. I'm going to draw quite a bit of heat for this, but hey, you can always scroll to the next post. Political correctness be damned. I say, be true to yourself and your honor. I sleep very well at night because I don't bother with cover ups. It often gets me into a lot of trouble at work, but my conscience is clear.

In the end, does any of this matter to you? Probably not. Whatever makes you happy.


Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...





Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!"

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 4:54:33 PM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERRocker

OKAY!!! Everyone stop!!! Who else beleives with justheather and juliaoceania that there is NO Santa Claus????
What next????? No Easter Bunny???  Or the Great Pumpkin?????


Dear MASTERRocker, calm down, there is a Santa Claus, a Scooter Claus (one drives a sleigh, one rides a sled, i know i wash the thing), an Easter Bunny and after trick or treat you just take your bag of goodies out to the pumpkin patch and wait, if you believe the Great Pumpkin will be there.
 
It is entirely possible that justheather and juliaoceania are related to the Grinch and we all KNOW he is real; i mean who took the Who's roast beast and tweetwanglers if he is not real?

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 10/9/2006 4:57:12 PM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to MASTERRocker)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 5:07:25 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		I just said that big fuzzy things in bow ties-- with eyes as big as people's heads-- are scary.
I dont think that's unreasonable.

< Message edited by justheather -- 10/9/2006 5:08:47 PM >

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 10:24:20 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire
It did teach me, though, that if you allow a sub to get away with something once, they (like a child) will try it again.



In the above you have taken what was a conversation about lying to others and found an occasion to make a rather broad generalization.

"A sub"
"Something"
"They"

In my experience, one sub will behave differently than another under similar circumstances. The ones I've dealt with, anyway (my personal "They") aren't all squeezed out of the same tube.

Are you sure you want to generalize so broadly?

Maybe it is the way you are going about things, or maybe you are choosing childish partners.

I believe in forgiveness and have had wonderful results (including low recidivism) with "letting someone get away with something." One of the perks of power, as I see it, is the right to administer mercy. This can be done strategically, tactically, or arbitrarily.

I don't have perfection to offer, for my part. In potential partners I see it as a critical flaw when someone claims or even aspires to be perfect.

I think very, very good is just fine.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 10:26:26 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

Just waiting to see how long it's going to take for the new 'The Lying Dominant' thread to appear.

Tick-tock. 


~~~ seriously considered it.... just for you... but I'll wait for a real masochist to do it.

Jewel



You made the right decison....this time. 


_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 10:35:16 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

She's a fairy. She grinds them up to make something sparkly, silly!


Fairies out here on the west coast dress up in pumps and short skirts, and go hang out in strange bars with other fairies down in Hollyweird.

Hey, whatever works for them is a-ok in my book.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 11:01:37 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GddssBella
All lies are destructive in one form or another. I have let subs go for the whitest lie. If there can't be complete honesty, then what do you have? A house of cards that can be blown down at any time. There's no justification...


Have you ever read The Diary of Anne Frank?

(in reply to GddssBella)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/9/2006 11:26:20 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

I believe in forgiveness and have had wonderful results (including low recidivism) with "letting someone get away with something." One of the perks of power, as I see it, is the right to administer mercy. This can be done strategically, tactically, or arbitrarily


I agree with this, but that desire has to be within the submissive, and I do not know how a submissive would be able to be rehabilitated without some form of accountablity for their actions. But that is for each dominant person to decide what is appropriate within their dynamic, some dominants may find little trouble with a prevaricating  submissive, others would dump someone for the first infraction

I think it is all in one's interpretation of values, what they find to be honest and dishonest. Many people (I believe the majority) lie in little ways all the time every day, but not all of us are pathological liars or vindictive ones.

I do think there is beauty in redemption also

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/10/2006 3:19:18 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

Just waiting to see how long it's going to take for the new 'The Lying Dominant' thread to appear.

Tick-tock. 


~~~ seriously considered it.... just for you... but I'll wait for a real masochist to do it.

Jewel



You made the right decison....this time. 



That happens occassionally... not that I have the greatest track record... but I have to admit that when I do screw up I do it up right.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to joyinslavery)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/10/2006 8:11:35 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I feel the need to begin this with a disclaimer: I suck at life.  There's some basic things I just haven't grasped, and one of them is the distinction between truth and falsity. Another is reality itself. 

I can't say that I go around lying with the intent to decieve for my own benefit.  But, I can't say that I tell the truth either.  If I make a mistake, or screw something up, I'm generally willing to admit it.  I don't hide my shortcomings.  I cant see myself lying to a Dominant I was involved in about something I did or didn't do though I have been guilty of altering the truth so as not to escalate something that has already taken a turn for the worse.  I've told lies rooted in fear and lies rooted in kindness, and in neither case was the outcome good.  If I were involved with a Dominant and got caught telling this sort of lie, yes, I would expect that it would put a stop to any future involvement.  If I caught myself telling these kinds of lies, I would take it as an indication that it was time to re-evaluate what was going on.

The other issue, and I suppose a more complex one, has to do with how I represent myself to others, both in and out of the bd/sm community.  Basically, I'm not who I say I am, but I can't say who I am because I don't really know and it would take too long and every statement comes with a zillion qualifiers.  All the details I give about myself are factual: I'm a student, I have two kids, I'm  145 lbs, I like chicken, but I don't have an ear for jazz. 

But, theres another level at which I feel like an imposter and am always anxious about being "found out."  Am I really a submissive?  Maybe I'm really a vanilla kinkster?  Or a bottom?  Sometimes, I think I could be a slave but, I don't really want to go there, so I don't. Except when I do.  Do I really want to head in this direction that I've been heading?  Should I tell every Dominant I talk to with some intention of meeting about all the wrinkles on my face, and the pimples on my ass?  Do they want that much detail?
Do they really want to know about all my misgivings and ambivalences? 

The same thoughts run through my mind about more casual interactions.  How much information is too much information?  Leaving something out can be misleading, but telling everything isn't always the best path.

As I write this, I'm thinking that maybe "honesty" shouldn't be considered a fact, but a goal and something to aspire to.   I spend a lot of time wondering what I'm doing "here" and what I'm looking for and maybe thats part of the answer: to find a situation where honesty and truthfulness can prosper.

I don't know.





(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: The Lying Submissive - 10/10/2006 8:12:57 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think it is all in one's interpretation of values, what they find to be honest and dishonest. Many people (I believe the majority) lie in little ways all the time every day, but not all of us are pathological liars or vindictive ones.



I tend to agree with this.

I adopted a fairly laid-back approach to lying with my sprogs.......knowing that they'd do it now and then. I feel it's rather natural to lie sometimes. How I reacted to it depended on the situation. I don't expect TOTAL honesty. Being hugely punative about lying would have made it much harder for them to approach me. My thrust was to find out why they lied in, a caring, genuinely interested way. The result being that as they grew older they felt less and less desire and need to. They felt safer.

It is entirely dependant on who I'm relating to as to how truthful I'll be.  I will lie and say *I'm fine* when my Mum asks me sometimes, because I know she'll worry about me and I may not have the energy to explain in a way that'll stop her worrying. I really don't have a huge problem with lying, as such. It IS something I do and my reasons are what they are. They may not be the yard stick that other's use.... but everyone has their own.

agirl

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 76
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