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paCDponygirl -> RE: A letter to single submissives (10/10/2006 8:11:16 PM)
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Well, I agree about having photos in your profile and I think it should apply to both sides of the coin. Personally it is hard for me to have photos on Collarme. They keep denying them. I do not have facial shots on my profile as I am a crossdresser and prefer to keep that private until I have entered into a conversation with a Domme. When it comes to the one line emails, the emails from people you have clearly stated you are not interested in and the "do me" emails, I am in complete agreement there as well.
In case anyone was wondering, I have been on Collarme longer than 2 days under this profile and a previous one, although I am not sure how "length of membership" qualifies or disqualifies a persons opinion.
For the past 15 years I have been actively seeking a Domme through websites like this, AOL profiles, Yahoo profiles, local events, etc. with no luck. Not only am I a sub male but I am also a crossdresser so the odds are not in my favor. That is ok. If I am not someone's cup of tea, so be it. My profiles have been very detailed in the past. Recently I have toned them down a bit thinking maybe they were too detailed and scared prospective Dommes away. Never the less there is still a good deal of information about me in them.
Certainly in the past I have made mistakes in letters I have written in content, spelling, punctuation and or grammar. Since the response rate from Dommes is less than 5% in my experience, it has been hard to figure out what it was that put them off. At one point I even wrote to many asking them for advice about why they did not take the time to reply one way or another. Was I disrespectful? Was it not written well? Did I not go into your needs enough? Were you just not interested in what I was interested in?
The letters have ranged from as little as one paragraph to as many as twenty. The shorter ones were usually to Dommes who listed their location as, Pennsylvania (which is a big state) or The East Coast. There would be a short introduction and an inquiry as to whether or not they were near Philadelphia as location is an issue for me. As time went by I realized that crossdressers are not much liked (see thread 'why don't Mistresses like cds?) and I would inquire about that as well if I could not get any indication from reading their profile. These are two deal breaking issues to me and if one or the other is out, then there is no point in spending alot of time writing a long detailed letter. For those about to jump on the "just another lazy slave who doesn't get it" band wagon, I simply say: PLEASE, don't even go there. Any sub out there will tell you that when it comes to Domme/Mistress response rates, they are very, very, very low. Maybe this is part of the problem. I realize that Dommes get inundated with emails and many of them are one liners, but how many hours can you spend writing long, detailed letters to mistresses and getting no repsonse? Not a negative response, NO repsonse, before you stop putting as much effort into your emails? As subs we need to take our fair share of the blame. Lord knows there are many, many A-hole guys out there. I understand that, but I think that as Dommes, you need to start taking some responsibility for the poor quality of emails you receive too. How many e-mails do you not respond to?
In the end, I find it hard to believe that the root of my loneliness boils down to bad spelling, punctuation and or grammar. Having said that and having no other information to go by, I will certainly make an effort to do better at these things in the future. Of course, none of them are strong points for me.
lauren
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